It must have been the dedicated Imperial Help Desk.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Philip Arnold - ASP [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2001 7:09 AM
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: RE: If Star Wars was real
>
>
> There's something wrong with this skit - they guys actually gets
> through to
> Tech Support within 5 hours and doesn't need 3 days of waiting for
> call-backs <g>
>
> Philip Arnold
> Director
> Certified ColdFusion Developer
> ASP Multimedia Limited
> T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133
>
> "Websites for the real world"
>
> **********************************************************************
> This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
> the system manager.
> **********************************************************************
>
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Adam Reynolds [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > Sent: 08 August 2001 08:06
> > To: CF-Community
> > Subject: FW: If Star Wars was real
> >
> >
> >
> > Darth Vader took two giant strides toward the immense visiscreen that
> > occupied the forward wall of the bridge of his flagship Imperial star
> > destroyer.
> >
> > "I have them now," he rumbled. Whirling on the technicians cowering at
> > their consoles, Vader snapped, "Tractor beam!"
> >
> > "Yes, Lord Vader," replied one, bending attentively to his task. Then he
> > looked up hesitantly. Vader gestured dramatically at the screen,
> > indicating
> > the fleeing spacecraft.
> >
> > "I want a tractor beam on that ship," he declared. "Now!"
> >
> > The technician busied himself with switches and dials.
> >
> > "Where's that tractor beam?" roared Vader, his voice dark with menace.
> >
> > The other technicians turned frightened eyes on their peer.
> They knew what
> > happened when Darth Vader's instructions weren't executed instantly.
> >
> > "The tractor beam seems to be down, sir," quavered the technician.
> >
> > "What do you mean down?" Vader inquired with a disturbing
> silkiness to his
> > voice.
> >
> > "It's not accepting commands, sir," the technician explained.
> >
> > Another technician leaned over and examined the console.
> "That's odd. The
> > beam itself is showing green," he pointed out.
> >
> > "Yes, I know," agreed the first.
> >
> > "But I'm not getting any acknowledgment to my 'Engage' command."
> > He pressed
> > a button several times to demonstrate.
> >
> > "Maybe the network's down again," suggested a third technician.
> >
> > "Oh, that could be," admitted the first technician. "The
> network might be
> > down, Lord Vader," he informed the large black figure trembling
> with rage.
> >
> > "What network?" Vader asked ominously.
> >
> > The second technician jumped in. "Since we've moved to a distributed
> > architecture on the Imperial star destroyers, everything is on
> a network.
> > It was felt that the direct connections were too unreliable."
> >
> > The third technician added. "The tractor beam is on one of the
> peripherals
> > sub networks, with the printers and the scanners. It's not on the main
> > weapon network."
> >
> > "Why isn't the tractor beam on the weapons network?" asked
> Vader, now more
> > puzzled than angry.
> >
> > The technicians exchanged sheepish looks. It was embarrassing to have to
> > point out something so obvious to a superior. The second
> > technician cleared
> > his throat. "Well, sir, the weapons network is a higher
> priority. It makes
> > more sense to put the less commonly used systems on a separate
> sub network
> > that has lower QOS."
> >
> > "QOS?" Vader queried.
> >
> > "Hang on a second," said the first technician. "If the network is
> > down, how
> > come we're getting a green light for the tractor beam?"
> >
> > The third technician brightened. "Ah! Maybe the console is
> retrieving old
> > MIB data and displaying that."
> >
> > "MIB?" rumbled Vader.
> >
> > The first technician answered "We use SNMP to monitor the network
> > elements.
> > When the server queries the element, it stores its current
> status. If the
> > network goes down, it can't query the element anymore, and all you
> > have is the latest status in the MIB." He turned to the other
> technicians,
> > musing. "We really should have an indicator of when the last successful
> > query was, instead of just a green or red light."
> >
> > "Good idea," said the third technician. "I'll call tech support."
> >
> > "Say," said the second technician. "How about if we ping the
> > tractor beam?!
> > Let me bring up a telnet window."
> >
> > "Telnet?" asked Vader, now obviously confused. "Ping?"
> >
> > The first technician glanced briefly at Vader, a little annoyed at the
> > interruptions. Why couldn't this guy keep up with the service bulletins?
> >
> > "The system runs Unix, but the consoles run NT 5000," he replied with
> > exaggerated patience. "You need a telnet window to ping the
> element." He
> > turned his attention back to the screen. "That's strange. It comes back
> > 'active'.
> >
> > Listen, when you get tech support tell them we can't engage the
> > tractor but
> > we can ping it."
> >
> > "Right," said the third technician. "I'm still on hold."
> >
> > "Here's a thought," said the second technician. "What if we
> just call the
> > guys down at tractor control and have them engage the beam manually?"
> >
> > Vader seemed to brighten up at this, and swivelled his head from one to
> > another.
> >
> > "Good idea," said the first technician. He lifted his communicator and
> > tapped the switch several times. "Nothing," he said.
> >
> > The second technician shook his head. "Didn't we tell them we
> couldn't do
> > voice and data with that little
> > bandwidth?"
> >
> > Suddenly Vader noticed the visiscreen and let out a bellow of anger.
> >
> > "They're gone!" he boomed.
> >
> > The third technician looked up smiling. "Hey, I got tech support!"
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Structure your ColdFusion code with Fusebox. Get the official book at
http://www.fusionauthority.com/bkinfo.cfm
Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/
Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
