Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause it f***ing wanted to cross the f***ing road. That's
the f***ing reason.'
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
was
much rejoicing.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road I repeat, the chicken
did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath
the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended
it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL GATES: Quick, put a road crossing feature into windows.
AND FINALLY....
MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for
the newly competitive market. The Management Consultants, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM), The Management Consultants helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the
chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall
strategy within a Program Management framework. The Management Consultants
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along
with the Management Consultants knowledge of deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in
order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and
explicit,and to enable them to synergize with an enterprise-wide value
framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was
held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment
which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. The Management Consultants helped the
chicken change to become more successful.
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