Subject: Top Statements for 2006

Top 10 Thoughts For 2006

**Number 10**
  Life is sexually transmitted.

**Number 9**
  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

**Number 8**
  Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

**Number 7**
  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

**Number 6**
  Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

**Number 5**
  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.

**Number 4**
  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

**Number 3**
  Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

**Number 2**
  In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is
weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

**AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:**

  We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to
where thousands of terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of National Security. 


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