I never meant to suggest that any one here was pro abuse, I don't for a
second think you (or anyone here is).
I have a 3 year old son, which is why talk of slapping 3 year old boys
across the face got my back up..
>I am *not* pro-abuse and I don't agree that "if you accept the moderate
>you have to accept the extreme" (from Mark's email to me). I don't buy
>into that. I also think that if you raise a child (or don't raise in
>this case) then the parent should be to blame for at least part of the
>problem.
Not accept the extreme, but accept that moderate is interpreted different by
everyone. Through previous jobs, I came across parents who thought extreme
violence was moderate and they had doen nothing wrong.
Violence also has an inherent tendancy of escalating. Once accepted even on
a lower scale if the childs behaviour deteriorates the logic of the argument
means that the violence escalates in kind.
These combined tells me it's best never to smack or hit kids, but thats down
to the individual parents.
Don't forget its the slapping across the face remark, which started me off.
And thats way out of order. I don't think that the person meant it badly,
but people could read it and the following comments and walk away thinking
its acceptable.
When it's simply not
Mark
-----Original Message-----
From: C. Hatton Humphrey [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: 25 February 2002 16:46
To: CF-Community
Subject: Punishment versus Abuse (was Re:RE: Come see the violence
inherent in the system!)
I think that one thing that really needs to be defined in this (and
other) situations with children is the fact that while we are using
very strong language (myself included) for physical punishment, I don't
think a single one of us is suggesting, proposing or supporting abusing
the child.
I grew up in a household that spanked. If my child's actions warrant
the same punishment then my wife and I have already agreed that there
will be no belts, paddles or switches (a piece of wood). I used to
have to go pick my own switch and those who have done this can attest
to the mental punishment that gives as well.
In all seriousness I believe in corporal punishment because I know all
too well that verbal punishment and trying to reason with a three year
old does not always work for all children. A 3 year old attacking an
adult stranger is unacceptable in my eyes and should have been dealt
with long before it got as far as it did.
I am *not* pro-abuse and I don't agree that "if you accept the moderate
you have to accept the extreme" (from Mark's email to me). I don't buy
into that. I also think that if you raise a child (or don't raise in
this case) then the parent should be to blame for at least part of the
problem.
Hatton
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