Below from a friend, phrases exactly what concerns me about the Palins. "If what I read is right -- and, of course, with all the crap out there, it may not be -- while Sarah Palin was living in Juneau as governor (with the new baby), the rest of the family remained in Wasilla. But dad Todd had a job that required him, too, to be absent much of the time -- one week on, one week off. So the kids got looked after by other family members. Unspoken message to kids: our jobs are more important to us than you are.
Most of the families in my circle are 2-career couples, and they have made various adjustments and, yes, sacrifices, especially during the vulnerable teen years, to try to maintain/improve/ensure the stability of the family, to make sure that the kids know they are loved, supported, valued, etc. They recognize that at least one parent (but preferably both, taking turns as needed) needs to be around enough to be involved in their kids' lives: driving them to & fro (and their friends, to be sure to know them and have their trust/respect, too), sitting in the stands when they compete in whatever activity they're involved in (and occasionally even peering above their laptop screen to actually catch some of the action), having meals together on a regular basis, and so on. This is not the stuff to be left to various family babysitters -- aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. -- who, while they love the kids, are still just understudies. To grow up emotionally healthy, kids need to know their parents love them more than anything else. I don't know a single family that doesn't have issues & conflicts with its teens. (After all, it's Nature's way of easing the pain otherwise felt when they leave the nest!) But there are issues and there are issues. After spending a couple of Friday mornings observing the proceedings of our local county court awhile back (while awaiting the sentencing of the "friendly neighborhood burglar" who tried to break into our home), and seeing loser after loser on the docket, I quickly concluded that my kids are wonderful and vowed to never again criticize their socks-on-the-stairs habit! (Although I'm still not happy with their choice, after going off to college, to own a fake ID for purposes of procuring alcohol & entrance into clubs, though I imagine I'd have done the same!) Sometimes, in order to put the kids' needs in the forefront, a family will find that one parent needs to cut back hours, or take a job that maybe pays less but is closer, or allows flexible time or telecommuting. Sometimes a parent loses a job and finds a new one clear across the country -- but to keep the kids in a stable environment, chooses to "commute" for a year or two, to let a kid finish high school and allow the spouse stay at his/her job. I can count at least 5 families I know that that's happened to. Others choose to relocate the whole family, although that's less common when high-school-age kids are involved. In real life, families need to weigh what's best for the family and make tough choices like these. Throughout it all, if you want to raise children with self-esteem, so that they can start out in life setting lofty goals and believing they can achieve them -- and then really go out and achieve them -- your kids need to know you're there for them, you love them, you value their achievements, you think they make good decisions, you're all on the same team, etc. etc. Above all, they need to know they're your #1 priority. That's not the message Sarah & Todd Palin are giving their kids. When both parents are physically and/or emotionally absent (and often when even just one is), one or more of their children is almost bound to act out -- whether through disciplinary problems, lousy grades, unprotected sex, drugs, petty crime, or whatever. It helps them test their parents' limits and love -- and for a kid, negative attention is better than none. The whole issue of the new baby Trig is just another example of this family's not putting their children's needs first. Sarah Palin is trying to act like it's no big deal having a kid at all! It doesn't have to interrupt a thing, business as usual! Seriously, going back to work 3 days after giving birth??? What was she trying to prove? Who was the baby bonding with while she was busy playing governor? (I hope she wasn't governing AND getting up every 2-3 hours to feed him!) And this is a child who will need extensive interventions in his early months and years. She'd be a lot more believable preaching family values if she or her husband had taken the maternity/paternity leave they're allowed by law. I've never before seen a candidate's children so *not* be their parents' focus! Has Sarah Palin ever even said anything about wanting a better America for her children?? They're not in her equation at all! (Of course, on the other hand, we haven't heard much from her yet anyway.... maybe Weds. night!) It's not a sexist-type question of woman's vs. man's roles, mom vs. dad. It's a question of true family values, of a person's and a couple's real priorities in life. These people are sacrificing their children not for the good of the country (really, there are other, far more qualified people who could have filled the VP role), but for their own egos and ambition. (Same, by the way, went for John Edwards, who IMHO should not have continued his campaign -- let alone had an affair! -- while his wife was being treated for breast cancer. With young kids at home and mom undergoing chemo, his family needed him home. Ego and ambition over family, just another example.) So it's not the pregnancy that's the issue, it's the family dynamics. And for the insight they provide into the candidate's character, it's a legitimate issue." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;203748912;27390454;j Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:267570 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
