Great post Michael. Welcome to the group.
On Sat, Nov 22, 2008 at 11:27 AM, Michael Grant <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Since the numerous forum posts on the gay marriage subject I haven't been > able to stop thinking about this issue. I have a tendency to be a little > o.c. when I have a problem to solve. It's a blessing when it comes to app > development, but a bit of a curse in everyday life. > > So I've been running this over and over in my brain the past couple of > days. Trying to analyze the reason for my opinions, if I feel it's right etc > etc. > > Well last night we had dinner with Peter and Brian, a gay couple that have > been friends of my wife and I for years. P&B are the straightest gay couple > you've ever met. You'd be very hard pressed to discern they're gay unless > they tell you. We've never discussed the issue of gay marriage before. In > fact our conversations rarely have anything to do with sexual orientation. > So I brought it up with them after dinner and over our second bottle of > shiraz. We have a very open and honest friendship and there's never any need > to not say exactly what's on your mind for fear of being judged. So in our > usual fashion I just laid it on the table exactly what I thought about > marriage and my views on gays marrying. They both listened to what I had to > say and when I was done Peter looked at me and said "after all these years I > had no idea you were retarded. You hide it very well Michael." This of > course got a laugh but spurned one of the most honest and open discussions > I've ever had. Peter and Brian both told us about what it was like growing > up 'different' and the self loathing they felt for so many years. The shame > of growing up gay in 70's and 80's and the absolute joy of finding each > other and becoming a couple. They talked about how different times are now > than they used to be, but how far things still need to go. After about an > hour of stories Brian asked me "since you've known us have you ever > questioned our devotion to each other?" I said no. "And do you want us to be > happy?" I said yes. "And has having us around ever made you love your wife > less?" By this time I knew where the conversation was going and I was > already feeling a little embarrassed by my comments at the start of the > conversation. I said no, of course not. I was expecting some Bill > Cosby-esque moral to the story when Brian said in a deadpan voice "Then quit > being such a fucktard." That was pretty much the end of the conversation. We > played Euchre for a couple of hours and they went home. > > Now I'm not saying I've made a 180 degree turn. There's still a part of me > that's holding on to the idea of "between a man and a woman" but I > definitely realise that I don't have much of a leg to stand on. They happen > to not really care one way or the other about being married but that's not > really the point. The point is that I wouldn't want to deny P&B the same > happiness or opportunities that I have. > > I've read through that whole thread again, and know that other than my > first post all of the posts I made were from a defensive position. I was > being forced to defend an opinion that from the start I knew I hadn't put a > whole lot of thought into. When one has to defend something there is a > tendency to stop thinking about what it is you are defending and simply put > your energies into the defense itself. Us and them syndrome as it were. > > So that's that. My mind isn't completely changed. This isn't an after > school special or a p.s.a. However I felt I owed it to you all to share it. > > Cheers > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;207172674;29440083;f Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:281192 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
