Not sure if this is real or not. Could not find it in CL or Snopes, but it
is funny none the less:


*NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )*


 ------------------------------


Reply to: xxxxxxxx

Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by
the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle
to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like
Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable
shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to
transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius
is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a
favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest
mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a
daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like
navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real
man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even
know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action
junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special
blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back.
You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a
stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're
operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if
you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your
machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon
more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym
to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your
50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new
windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain
reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me
you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a
Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab.
Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at
the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass.
Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name.
It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no
holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then
contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling
with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a
price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants
for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you
heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.


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