Brian, I'm the Kevin that calls Deanna a "breeder". She knows it's in jest; however, I want to point out that I understand the difference between saying that to a friend who happens to be a co-worker and any of my other co-workers that may be parents that I'm just not as close with.
I feel the same way you do about the slurs that people use. Especially when used by kids. The "fag" term is one that is certainly bandied about with little thought. But I would say there is certainly a difference between that and when my gay friends call their partners by the same "fag" word in an affectionate jesting manner. It's not even that different from girls talking and when one regales a tale of getting lucky on a date, the others heap on the "whore" or "slut" terms with gleeful abandon. It's not marking her with the scarlet letter so much as bestowing a naughty title of honor. The same words of shame given by the majority are often worn as a badge of pride when used within the ostracized community. I personally feel your "zero tolerance for homophobia" approach is too strong. Particularly if it means an all out banning of words. From your initial telling of the events, it appeared that the people may have been friends and you had overheard a conversation and took rather extreme steps. It's one thing to protect people who ask for it, it's another to impose dictatorial rule on behalf of someone who didn't. However, in your followup it does appear that the offended party brought it to your attention, and I support your actions in the matter. Context is everything. As for the 49ers, I care not a whit. I'm not a fan of sports and based on the actions and behavior of the local athletes, it seems like most of them range from not terribly nice people all the way to criminals, thugs and rapists. I did catch recently on the news that a NFL player recently came out as gay and that he felt the need to quit the game in part for fear of his life. -Kevin > -----Original Message----- > From: Brian Ledwith [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2002 4:15 PM > To: CF-Community > Subject: RE: Reason 49er why athletes should stay on the field and away > from the microphone... > > > Deanna, > > I agree, it's only fair and appropriate to get both sides of the > story, but in short, she brought it to my attention, in the form > of a written complaint. A quick scan of our email server (how > quickly people forget that company email isn�t necessarily > private), and witnessing the name calling, was all I needed to > make my decision. > > I'm sure we all have conversations that could be misinterpreted, > but no matter how chummy I am with someone, calling them a > faggot, dyke, nigger, any-of-many Anti-Semitic slurs, is simply > not acceptable, in or out of the workplace. I choose not to use > such language ever. > > I honestly cant think of a single way calling someone "X", even > if it's not used in a direct, insulting way, doesn't perpetuate > discrimination, racism, prejudice, or hatred... "It's okay to hate" > > ..which was part of my original point. I don�t care about the > guy on the 49er's, for all I know he's going to get beaten to a > pulp by a homosexual. But I do care about the kids who look up > to these 'role models'. I don�t want my nephew to listen to this > crap. I want my nephew to be compassionate and respectful of > others. To me, there's a huge difference between "tolerating" > and "coexisting peacefully". > > ~bgl > > > Unbelievable, have I offended some of you? I've gotten now 16 > emails telling me to "F*** off". Would you please elaborate on > why should I f*** off? > > > > --> -----Original Message----- > --> From: Deanna Schneider [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > --> Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2002 1:06 PM > --> To: CF-Community > --> Subject: Re: Reason 49er why athletes should stay on the > field and away > --> from the microphone... > --> > --> Hey Brian, > --> I'm disheartened to hear about all the private email you've > gotten from > --> people telling to f**k off. But, it doesn't entirely shock me. > --> > --> One thing I would question about your account, though, was > what was the > --> lesbian's take on the situation? I've had a number of work > friends with > --> whom > --> I've exchanged banter that could be construed to be offensive outside > --> the > --> realm of my relationship with that person. Hell, Kevin's been > calling me > --> a > --> breeder damn near daily lately. ;) But, that doesn't mean I'm > offended, > --> or > --> that I would ever expect or want anyone to step in to the middle of my > --> interactions if I were offended. > --> > --> (In contrast, I worked with one gay man that insisted that I was a > --> lesbian > --> and that my boyfriend (now husband) was really a gay man that hadn't > --> figured > --> it out yet. What I wouldn't have given for someone to fire him!) > --> > --> Of course, it's entirely possible that the two people in question did > --> NOT > --> have a positive relationship, and that he was being offensive. I just > --> figure > --> it's always a good idea to get all perspectives before decisions are > --> made. > --> > --> Deanna Schneider > --> Interactive Media Developer > --> [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 This list and all House of Fusion resources hosted by CFHosting.com. The place for dependable ColdFusion Hosting. Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
