Count Dracula is on the pull in Glasgow. He
spends the night drinking Bloody Marys in
various clubs and biting on unsuspecting
women's necks. He is heading for home,
wandering along Argyle street sometime before
sunrise.

Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head.
looks round and sees nothing. He looks down
and sees a small sausage roll. Mmmm, he thinks.
What's going on here.

A few yards further on and ... BANG.

Smacked on the back of the head again! He
whirls round as quick as he can, nothing.
Again he looks down and there is a small
triangular sandwich lying on
the ground. How odd!!

A few yards further along the street and
.... crash.  Smacked on the back of the head again!! He
whirls round as quick as he
can, nothing. He's getting really angry now.
Again he looks down and
there is a cocktail sausage lying on the
ground.

He stands and peers into the darkness of the
night. Nothing. He walks
a few yards further on when he gets a tap on
the shoulder. With a
swirl of his cape and a cloud of mist he
turns as fast as he can.
He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls
to the ground clutching
his chest, which is punctured by a small
cocktail stick laden with a chunk
of cheese and a pickle.

On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a
young female. With his dying breath he gasps,
who the f**k are you?

She replies my name is ...........

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Buffet, the vampire slayer.




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