Kevin-

no need, 'nuff said dewd!
and I'm glad too!!

BTW emailed the Doctor, asked if I could have a glass of wine with dinner
(conflict with meds?).
He said ok.

Gee, that 99 Merlot sure tasted better than I remember!!
<grin>

-Ben


At 09:26 PM 3/11/03 -0600, you wrote:
>I have yet to send an email.....but I am glad you are still with us!
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Ben Braver" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2003 4:46 PM
>Subject: Almost Gone and Back Again, A Hospital Tale
>
>
>> by Benbo Braver
>> <with sincere apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien>
>>
>> (LONG post, sorry.)
>>
>> Promised to recount what happened, how it felt, etc.
>>
>> Hope these "few" words from the brink may inspire some others on the list
>> to make changes before looking into the Grand Canyon with a hand on your
>back.
>>
>> Before:
>> 5'11", as high as 283 pounds barenaked. Mostly around middle (bad) -
>> couldn't easily see feet :-(
>> BP not too high, typ. 130s over 80s.
>> Cholesterol and ratio not good - as of last August,
>> Total Chol. 274, Triglycerides 366, HDL 40 (should be over 45), LDL 161
>> (s/b under 100)
>>
>> Realistically, needed to lose about 90 pounds, really change the lipid
>> panel numbers.
>>
>> Was doing "strength/endurance" exercise trying to rehab the hip and back
>> muscles, and get in generally better condition, but was not doing hardly
>> any aerobic stuff (walking was tough with the injured hip muscle). Also
>had
>> motivation limits on how much time I was willing to spend at the gym.
>>
>> Father had angina pectoris - means "choking sensation of the chest".
>> Like a heart attack, but no permanent damage because heart isn't deprived
>> of oxygen for very long.
>> His was induced by exercise and stress.
>> He stuck nitroglycerin tablets under the tongue to relieve symptoms.
>> Then he had a couple of small heart attacks, followed by a fatal one at
>age
>> 54.
>>
>> A couple of days before my attack, I was talking about stress with my
>boss.
>> He's a really super mellow person, on the outside at least.
>> Hardly ever seems "ruffled".
>> I asked if he ever had "anxiety attacks", feeling tight in the chest,
>> anxious, wondering how to "get it all done".
>> He said (surprisingly) "more often then I want to admit, lately".
>> I was also thinking about unfinished work and an upcoming vacation.
>> Plus the stress of "hormone week" at home, the friction with the son, etc.
>> Figured a vacation was just what I needed.
>> But the vacation was also a source of some stress - would I be able to ski
>> (how would the hip/back muscles do?), etc.
>>
>> The morning of the attack, I awoke about 5:30am, before the alarm went
>off.
>> Felt almost panicky.
>> Tight feeling under sternum (breastbone), but no "pain".
>> Thought "this feels like my Dad described angina."
>> Decided to try the first aid his doctor had recommended - straight shot of
>> whiskey.
>> Believe it or not, padded out to kitchen in my robe, tossed down a jigger
>> of JD.
>> (Very unusual - never drink except maybe one cocktail before dinner or
>wine
>> with a meal.)
>> That felt somewhat better, lessened the tightness.
>> Thought "gotta keep a close eye on this, report it to doctor later today,
>> maybe go get checked."
>> Wife woke up, said "feeling stressed, need a hug". That helped too.
>>
>> Went to the throne room, relaxed quite a bit responding with puns to some
>> cf-comm posts (WiFi in PocketPC).
>> <sorry>
>>
>> Got dressed, felt good enough to go to work.
>> Told wife if I felt bad, could go to Medical at work.
>> She says she should have insisted right then that I go to the ER and get
>> examined.
>> She's probably right - but on the other hand, if the symptoms lessened,
>> they might have checked and sent me away.
>>
>> Driving to work, just before my freeway exit, started feeling more tight,
>> and worried.
>> Found myself reciting the "Shema" prayer out loud in Hebrew (uh-oh...).
>> (In English, "hear, o Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One".)
>> Thought about driving to hospital, decided I was closer to work, and could
>> get the EMTs giving me first aid while they got an ambulance if needed.
>>
>> Got into office, sat down, started feeling queasy (not nauseous), cold
>> sweat on forehead.
>> No pain, but numbness down the left arm to the elbow, and a CRUSHING
>> pressure on the chest -
>> like an elephant was sitting on it.
>>
>> Was reaching for the phone to call the Emergency number, when my boss
>stuck
>> his head in to say good morning.
>>
>> He said "hey, you don't look well - you look WHITE."
>> I said "I don't feel well, I feel green, and..."
>>
>> Never got to tell him about the pressure - he interrupted to say "can I
>> take you to Medical?"
>> I said "yes, now!".
>>
>> A mistake - walked across the street to the parking lot to his car
>(slowly).
>> Should have said please bring the car over.
>>
>> At Medical, rang the bell, started signing in.
>> Voice said "be right with you".
>> I said "please make it sooner, not later - having chest pains".
>> By this point, it hurt.
>>
>> Within a minute, he and the gal on duty had me lying down, chewing on an
>> aspirin tablet, trying to attach EKG leads (but I was sweating too much).
>>
>> She said to him quietly "should I initiate transport?" and I looked up.
>> He said "do you understand that?"
>> I said "if she means initiate ambulance transport to the hospital, yes
>> please".
>>
>> The paramedics got there, slid me onto a gurney, wheeled me out, put me in
>> the ambulance.
>> Guy said "I'm a paramedic, gonna be starting an IV in your arm."
>> I said "paramedic? as in Airborne??"
>> You should have seen the look he gave me.
>> But heck, I was still alive, getting care.
>> Should I just roll over and die?? No way.
>> He gave me a spray of nitro in my mouth - a lot quicker than the old
>> tablets dissolving.
>> They kept asking "on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being none, and 10 being
>> the most excruciating pain imaginable, how much pain are you having?"
>> It started at 6, went down to about 4 after the aspirin and couple of
>nitro
>> squirts.
>>
>> I could tell from counting the speed bumps that as soon as they went out
>> the refinery gate they turned on siren and sped up. One of the best
>> emergency facilities in the area is Mt. Diablo Medical Center, only about
>2
>> miles from the gate (or about 4 miles from Medical, 5 miles from my office
>> - it's a BIG place.)
>>
>> Think I had a total of 2 or 3 squirts of nitro. It dilates (opens) the
>> arteries to the heart, increases blood flow, relieves chest pain from
>> angina, reduces the heart's workload. May or may not reduce risk of death
>> in a heart attack. But it also drops blood pressure - this may be good or
>bad.
>>
>> At least with the IV started, I was all ready for whatever drugs the
>> hospital wanted to dump in.
>>
>> In the ER, cardiologist introduced himself, started telling me the things
>> they would do, and might have to do (needed to get me to sign "informed
>> consent" forms). (Later found out he's one of the best cardio's in the
>area.)
>>
>> Said they were going to administer clot-busting drug, TNK (Tenecteplase) -
>> breaks up clot, prevents the ongoing damage from a heart attack. (Damage
>is
>> from heart tissue beyond the clot being deprived of blood flow therefore
>> oxygen.)
>>
>> Then they would do angiogram - go in with catheter through femoral artery
>> in groin, put in contract die (iodine-based) to allow taking images of the
>> arteries and determine how many clogged, how much.  He asked if I knew
>what
>> that was, said "yes, had one in 1982. Was very uncomfortable and
>> stressful."  He said "now we use Conscious Sedation" - local anesthetic
>> plus tranquilizers. Not as dangerous as general anesthetic, but you're
>> kinda zonked out...
>>
>> Dr said they would probably do a balloon angioplasty, might insert a stent
>> (I said "oh good, my wife owns stock in Medtronic" and OY did I get an
>> unbelieving look for that one), and possibly emergency bypass surgery.
>>
>> I signed the forms, and went off to the cath lab.
>> Don't remember much at all.
>>
>> This all started when I got to work at 8am. By 11am or earlier, I was
>> sitting up in bed, wired and hosed, wondering whether I was really going
>to
>> be ok. In walks my wife. I broke out in a huge smile, said "gee, you look
>> wonderful". :-)
>>
>> At this point, the pain was virtually gone.
>>
>> Asked the wife to email MikeyD, so he could tell the list what happened.
>>
>> BTW they _did_ put in a stent - 12mm long mesh cylinder of steel, like a
>> liner for the damaged portion of artery. (The circumflex artery.) It
>> expands to hold the artery open, then integrates with the artery wall over
>> time. I can't have an MRI for a couple of months, for obvious reasons.
>>
>> Had some ups and downs - apparently, a combination of 2 drugs they gave me
>> (a beta blocker and ??) lowered my BP too much, it went down to
>> 70-something over 40-something, they got worried.  Felt wierd while they
>> got the BP stabilized.
>>
>> Had an IV in the back of each hand, a red "ET light" oxygen and pulse
>> sensor on a finger, EKG electrodes on the chest. And a wound in the inside
>> hip joint from the catherter. Very difficult to rest comfortably or adjust
>> position in bed. Found it difficult to concentrate on reading, tv,
>anything
>> - partly from the drugs, partly from exhaustion and stress.
>>
>> Had a BP cuff on one arm, all the time. Prevented me from bending the arm
>> fully.
>> For a while, they were taking the BP every 15 minutes (!!) - it
>transmitted
>> to the nurses' station.
>> I could see the monitor above my bed, with some difficulty, and see an
>> occasional wierd-feeling heartbeat show up as a blip on the EKG graph.
>(Was
>> told that my left ventricle might fire too strongly or out of sequence
>> sometimes, as the heart got used to having more oxygen.)
>>
>> Did _not_ enjoy having to use a urinal - many, many times a day, too,
>> because of all the IV fluids.
>> Re: the alternative, that part of the body just switched off completely,
>> thankfully.
>> Didn't re-activate until Saturday when I got into a room with a real
>> bathroom <yay>.
>>
>> They had me on solid food as of lunch Thursday - but low cal, low
>> cholesterol, low sodium menu. OK. I actually got to pick my meals from
>> several choices. Better than a lot of airline food I've had :-)
>>
>> Hospitals give you medications on a schedule - hence the classic line
>"wake
>> up to take your sleeping pill" (not relevant in my case, but funny).
>>
>> After a while, it got "old" and boring - ok, folks, I'm alive and starting
>> to recover. Now I'm uncomfortable. Tried really hard not to complain,
>> considering the alternative. Felt almost euphoric, elated mentally while
>> hassled physically. Strange.
>>
>> Friday, they were supposed to move me to a regular room, but didn't have a
>> bed available. So I got kept in CCU. At least I was able to talk them into
>> giving me a telephone.
>>
>> Was I ever surprised when MikeyD talked his way through the nurses and got
>> me on the phone. He wanted to know my Hebrew name so he could say a
>> traditional prayer for healing for me - much appreciated!!  And even more
>> surprised when a little later Friday afternoon, Eri*K*a and Philip from
>> England got me on the phone. Wow.
>>
>> Saturday afternoon, one of my rabbis came over to visit. A while after
>> that, they moved me to a regular room, with a roommate. This was another
>> trip - roommate was 81 years old, had just gotten a pacemaker. He worked
>at
>> the same refinery I do (under prior owners) from 1945 to 1977 when he
>> retired. Boy, was he happy to have an audience for all his stories - I
>> understood enough to ask questions and draw him out. (And of course I got
>> to tell him stories <g>.)
>>
>> Uncanny - we both have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. We both have photography
>> as a hobby. I'm going to Australia in 6 months, he just got back 6 months
>ago.
>>
>> So, now that I'm home, it's hard to just sit or lie down and rest.
>> But I don't have a lot of endurance - so eventually I give in and take it
>> easy.
>>
>> Am going down to the gym at least every other day to do the exercise bike
>> or treadmill, while monitoring pulse rate. Need to work up to 30 minutes
>or
>> more every day.
>>
>> Am also going up and down the stairs at home a lot - partly for exercise,
>> partly because my computer is up there <g>. Then I have to go downstairs
>to
>> eat or pee.  Amazing what those diuretic pills can do <ha>.
>>
>> Really conscious of every little twinge or funny feeling, but for the most
>> part feel better than I did before (but tired).
>> Think about it - if a blood vessel in the heart were 50% blocked, and now
>> it's open, what a difference that makes.
>> When you add this to the thyroid medication and the air pump for sleep
>> apnea, the brain is actually functioning !!
>>
>> Wife goes between the "stiff upper lip" and breaking down crying saying
>> "I'm glad you didn't die".
>>
>> Sorry for the length of the post, but it feels good to lay it all out.
>>
>> OK, folks - a couple of items from the "bully pulpit" -
>> (1) get your cholesterol and blood pressure tested
>> (2) get regular exercise
>> (3) learn to reduce stress
>> (4) be here longer for those who love you.
>>
>> -Ben Braver
>>
>>
>> 
>
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