>From my uncle. I wonder what this says about his opininon of me and my
cousins?
-- Ben Doom
Programmer & General Lackey
Moonbow Software, Inc
For those who already have children past this age,
this is hilarious. For those who have children this
age, this is not funny. For those who have children
nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who
have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in
Austin, Texas:
Things I've Learned From My Children(honest & no
kidding)
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have
to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock
even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it
in the movies.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old.
11. Playdoh and microwave should not be used in the
same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV
commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18. You probably don't want to know what that smell
is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
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