my kids are past this age :)

Dana

Ben Doom writes:

> From my uncle.  I wonder what this says about his opininon of me and my
> cousins?
> 
> 
> --  Ben Doom
>     Programmer & General Lackey
>     Moonbow Software, Inc
> 
> 
> For those who already have children past this age,
> this is hilarious. For those who have children this
> age, this is not funny. For those who have children
> nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who
> have not yet had children, this is birth control.
> 
>  The following came from an anonymous mother in
> Austin, Texas:
> 
>  Things I've Learned From My Children(honest & no
> kidding)
> 
>  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
> 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
> 
>  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
> 
>  3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a
> crowded restaurant.
> 
>  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy
> wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
> strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
> spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room.
> 
>  5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
> fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have
> to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
> A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
> 
>  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
> stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
> 
>  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh," it's already too late.
> 
>  8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
> 
>  9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock
> even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it
> in the movies.
> 
>  10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year old.
> 
>  11. Playdoh and microwave should not be used in the
> same sentence.
> 
>  12. Super glue is forever.
> 
>  13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> pool, you still can't walk on water.
> 
>  14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 
>  15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV
> commercials show they do.
> 
>  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 
>  17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
> 
>  18. You probably don't want to know what that smell
> is.
> 
>  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
> Plastic toys do not like ovens.
> 
>  20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
> response time.
> 
>  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> make earthworms dizzy.
> 
>  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> 
>  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
> 
>  24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
> 
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Calendar - Free online calendar with sync to Outlook(TM).
> http://calendar.yahoo.com
> 
> 
> 
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