makes me glad I dont live in Tikrit.... -----Original Message----- From: Dana Tierney [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, August 04, 2003 2:07 PM To: CF-Community Subject: Re: interesting bedtime story
yeah I liked it too :) [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: > oh, WOW this is good !!! > /Ben > > > Ripped from http://www.hellermountain.com/ > > Original source unknown. > > > > > > A Bedtime Story: A Cautionary Tale > > (Source Unknown) > > > > Q. Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq? > > A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction. > > > > Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction. > > A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them. > > > > Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq? > > A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections. > > > > Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass > > destruction, did we? > > A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find > > something, probably right before the 2004 election. > > > > Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction? > > A: To use them in a war, silly. > > > > Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a > > war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with > > them? > > A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, > > > so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves. > > > > Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all > > those big weapons with which they could have fought back? > > A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense. > > > > Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons > > our government said they did. > > A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. > > We had another good reason to invade them anyway. > > > > Q: And what was that? > > A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was > > a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country. > > > > Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his > > country? > > A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people. > > > > Q: Kind of like what they do in China? > > A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, > > where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. > > > corporations richer. > > > > Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, > > it's a good country, even if that country tortures people? > > A: Right. > > > > Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured? > > A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who > > criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured. > > > > Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China? > > A: I told you, China is different. > > > > Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq? > > A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is > > Communist. > > > > Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad? > > A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad. > > > > Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad? > > A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent > > to prison and tortured. > > > > Q: Like in Iraq? > > A: Exactly. > > > > Q: And like in China, too? > > A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, > > is not. > > > > > Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor? > > A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws > > that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba > > until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us. > > > > Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started > > doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists? > > A: Don't be a smart-ass. > > > > Q: I didn't think I was being one. > > A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba. > > > > Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement? > > A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein > > came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate > > leader anyway. > > > > Q: What's a military coup? > > A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by > > force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States. > > > > > Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup? > > A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our > > friend. > > > > Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate? > > A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate. > > > > Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly > > overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate > > leader? > > A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us > > invade Afghanistan. > > > > Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan? > > A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th. > > > > Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th? > > A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - > > hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York > > and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people. > > > > Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that? > > A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of > > the Taliban. > > > > > Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's > > heads and hands? > > A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's > > heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too. > > > > Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back > > in May of 2001? > > A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job > > fighting drugs. > > > > Q: Fighting drugs? > > A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium > > poppies. > > > > Q: How did they do such a good job? > > A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would > > have their hands and heads cut off. > > > > Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing > > flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for > > other reasons? > > A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's > > hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for > > stealing bread. > > > > > Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia? > > A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that > > oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, > > with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply. > > > > Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too? > > A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering. > > > > Q: What's the difference? > > A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet > > fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes > > and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal > > oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and > > fingers. > > > > Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name. > > A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our > > friends. > > > > Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from > > Saudi Arabia. > > > A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan. > > > > Q: Who trained them? > > A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden. > > > > Q: Was he from Afghanistan? > > A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad > > man. > > > > Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once. > > A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of > > Afghanistan back in the 1980s. > > > > Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald... > > A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or > > thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call > > them Russians now. > > > > Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends? > > A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after > > they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our > > invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and > > the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either. > > > > Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too? > > > A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French Fries > > and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. > > > > Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we > > want them to do? > > A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade. > > > > Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s? > > A: Well, yeah. For a while. > > > > Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then? > > A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our > > friend, temporarily. > > > > Q: Why did that make him our friend? > > A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy. > > > > Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds? > > A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the > > other way. > > > > Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our > > friend? > > A: Most of the time, yes. > > > > Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an > > enemy? > > A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit > > > by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better. > > > > Q: Why? > > A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. > > Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless > > un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq? > > > > Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right? > > A: Yes. A Bedtime Story: A Cautionary Tale > > > > Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq? > > A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what > > to do. > > > > Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George > > W. Bush hears voices in his head? > > A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, > > make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night. > > > > Q: Good night, Daddy. > > > > (Source Unknown - Currently making the rounds > > in e-mail throughout the WWW) > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 Signup for the Fusion Authority news alert and keep up with the latest news in ColdFusion and related topics. http://www.fusionauthority.com/signup.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
