you to NOT take someone's street parking spot during the winter in Chicago.
- Jim
Michael Dinowitz wrote:
>Sent by someone else
>
>Folks,
>
>A friend sent me these. I don't know if they're true or not, but they sure
>made me giggle. And the last one purports to come from the university town
>in
>which I live.
>
>Judy Schmidt- [EMAIL PROTECTED] in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where apparently
>you
>can't get onion rings for breakfast
>
>
> The 2003 Darwin Award Winners
>
> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
> Elliot
> did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
> and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
>
> And now, the honorable mentions.
>
> ******************************
>
> The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
> machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
> insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
> its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a
> finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
> ******************************
>
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
> during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
> had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> ******************************
>
> After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
> from Harare to Bulaweyo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
> incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
> everyone
> waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
> mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
> excitable
> and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
> days.
>
> ******************************
>
> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
> counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
> the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
> the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
> fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
> got from the drawer...$15.
>
> (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
> committed?)
>
> ******************************
>
> A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
> carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
> "FREEZE,
> MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was
> silent.
> Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and
> doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been
> about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the
> thief
> got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the
> event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the
> words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
>
> ******************************
>
> Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
> head
> at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief
> on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
> made
> of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> ******************************
>
> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
> grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
> woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
> Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
> the
> car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
> car
> and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
> officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
> ******************************
>
> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
> onion
> rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
> frustrated, walked away.
>
> ******************************
>
>
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