Matthew Small wrote:
> OK, Charlie, it's time to listen to the guy who thinks "The Matrix" is
> spiritual advice. :-)
>
> - Matt Small
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Marlon Moyer
> To: CF-Community
> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:52 PM
> Subject: Re: distinctions between xmas and chanukah
>
> The Matrix
>
> Matthew Small wrote:
>
> > Where is that from?
> >
> > - Matt Small
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Marlon Moyer
> > To: CF-Community
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:44 PM
> > Subject: Re: distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> >
> > Or just realize "there is no spoon"
> >
> > Matthew Small wrote:
> >
> > > It's never too late to start practicing. It will probably
> bring you
> > > some inner peace. You should try your native faith or that of
> your
> > > wife and children. Good luck.
> > >
> > > - Matt Small
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Charlie Griefer
> > > To: CF-Community
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:00 PM
> > > Subject: Re: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > >
> > > Heya Ben:
> > >
> > > Actually that was said with a hint of sarcasm (what? you
> couldn't
> > > hear it?) : )
> > >
> > > Unfortunately, that's the way it was in my house. We just
> weren't
> > > very religious...and it was fairly early on that Chanukah
> > > 'degenerated' into a simple gift exchange with no ceremony
> > attached to
> > > it...and ultimately into nothing at all.
> > >
> > > Today, I consider myself a non-practicing Jew. I'm married to a
> > > wonderful Lutheran woman, and we are raising our children
> > > Lutheran. My wife's religion was simply more important to her
> than
> > > mine was to me, due to the way each of us was brought up. To be
> > > honest, it's very depressing not having a religion to believe
> in. I
> > > don't mind at all that my daughter (and whatever children
> follow) are
> > > going to be raised Lutheran. I wouldn't have cared if I had
> > fallen in
> > > love and married a Catholic or an Episcopalean or for that
> > matter... a
> > > Jew. All that mattered (and matters) to me is that whatever
> religion
> > > it ended up being...that they practiced it. I don't
> necessarily care
> > > what they believe...but I want them to believe in *something*.
> > >
> > > Trust me, I envy you for taking pleasure in the simple act of
> > > lighting the candles and saying the prayers (regardless of
> whether or
> > > not gifts were involved). I envy your children for having had
> those
> > > principles instilled in them (and commend you for doing so). I'm
> > > going to try and do the same for my children. Wish me luck : )
> > >
> > > Charlie
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Ben Braver
> > > To: CF-Community
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:38 PM
> > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > >
> > > Oh, Charlie, do I ever disagree with you on this:
> > >
> > > "No reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there
> were no
> > > presents to open", you say?
> > >
> > > *NOT*
> > >
> > > My young-adult kids even asked a couple of years ago that I
> > not go
> > > overboard trying to fill up 8 days with presents.
> > >
> > > We say the blessings and light the menorah whether we have
> > > presents or not. I love to sit and watch the candles. Yes,
> sometimes
> > > we skip a night due to some of the schedule conflicts this time of
> > > year, but not because there are no gifts for that night...
> > >
> > > YMMV.
> > >
> > > -Ben
> > >
> > > > my take on #10...
> > > >
> > > > kids will always get their xmas presents...
> > > > but on any given night of Chanukah, a parent reserves the
> > right to
> > > > withhold presents (or at least to threaten to do so).
> > > >
> > > > Actually I was relatively young when my parents started the
> > > > "bargaining process". As the presents I wanted became
> more and
> > > more
> > > > expensive, I was told, "OK...but if you want <name of more
> > > expensive
> > > > present here>, you can only get 5 gifts instead of 8".
> > > >
> > > > Eventually one gift got exchanged, the menorah gathered
> dust (no
> > > > reason to light the menorah and say a prayer if there
> were no
> > > presents
> > > > to open), and we all just grew up and grew jaded : )
> > > >
> > > > ah, youth.
> > > >
> > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > >
> > > > From: Ben Braver
> > >
> > > > To: CF-Community
> > >
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 10:14 AM
> > >
> > > > Subject: Re:distinctions between xmas and chanukah
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > > Oy, Charlie, ROFLMAO bubbela !!
> > >
> > > > Vay is meer, that was FUNNY!
> > >
> > > > But I don't get #10 ??
> > >
> > > > re: #12, Joseph preceded the Xmas carol saying
> > >
> > > > "Have yourself a Mary little Christmas"
> > >
> > > > <hohoho>
> > >
> > > > -Ben
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >HOLIDAY DISTINCTIONS
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >1. Christmas is one day, same day every year: December 25.
> > Jews
> > > also
> > > > love
> > >
> > > > >December 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to
> > movies and
> > > > out for
> > >
> > > > >Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is 8 days. It
> > > starts the
> > > > evening
> > >
> > > > >of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever
> > > sure. Jews
> > > > never
> > >
> > > > >know until a non-Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts,
> > > forcing us
> > > > to
> > >
> > > > >consult a calendar so we don't look like idiots. We all
> > have the
> > > > same
> > >
> > > > >calendar, provided free with a donation from either the
> World
> > > Jewish
> > >
> > > > >Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial
> > Chapel
> > > > (especially
> > >
> > > > >in Florida) or other Jewish funeral home.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >2. Christmas is a major holiday. Chanukah is a minor
> holiday
> > > with the
> > > > same
> > >
> > > > >theme as most Jewish holidays. They tried to kill us, we
> > survived,
> > > > let's
> > >
> > > > >eat.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >3. Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry,
> perfume,
> > > > stereos...
> > >
> > > > >Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks,
> or the
> > > > collected works
> > >
> > > > >of the Rambam, which looks impressive on the bookshelf.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >4. There is only one way to spell Christmas. No one can
> decide
> > > how to
> > > > spell
> > >
> > > > >Chanukah, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah, Hanukah, Hannukah.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >5. Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
> > > boyfriends.
> > > > Their
> > >
> > > > >partners expect special gifts. Jewish men are relieved
> of that
> > > burden.
> > > > No
> > >
> > > > >one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >6. Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are
> > used for
> > > > Chanukah.
> > >
> > > > >Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get
> > to feel
> > > > good
> > >
> > > > >about not contributing to the energy crisis.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >7. Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come
> All Ye
> > > Faithful....
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or having
> > a party
> > > > and
> > >
> > > > >dancing the horah. Of course, we are secretly pleased that
> > many of
> > > > the
> > >
> > > > >beautiful carols were composed and written by our tribal
> > brethren.
> > > > And don't
> > >
> > > > >Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully?
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >8. A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The
> sweet
> > > smell
> > > > of
> > >
> > > > >cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered
> around in
> > > festive
> > > > moods.
> > >
> > > > >A home preparing for Chanukah smells of oil, potatoes, and
> > onions.
> > > > The home,
> > >
> > > > >as always, is full of loud people all talking at once.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >9. Women have fun baking Christmas cookies. Women burn
> their
> > > eyes and
> > > > cut
> > >
> > > > >their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkas on
> Chanukah.
> > > > Another
> > >
> > > > >reminder of our suffering through the ages.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >10. Parents deliver to their children during Christmas.
> Jewish
> > > > parents have
> > >
> > > > >no qualms about withholding a gift on any of the eight
> nights.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >11. The players in the Christmas story have easy to
> pronounce
> > > names
> > > > such as
> > >
> > > > >Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. The players in the Chanukah
> story are
> > > > Antiochus,
> > >
> > > > >Judah Maccabee, and Matta whatever. No one can spell it or
> > > pronounce
> > > > it. On
> > >
> > > > >the plus side, we can tell our friends anything and they
> > > believe we
> > > > are
> > >
> > > > >wonderfully versed in our history.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >12. Many Christians believe in the virgin birth. Jews
> think,
> > > "Joseph,
> > > >
> > >
> > > > >Bubela, snap out of it. Your woman is pregnant, you didn't
> > > sleep with
> > > > her,
> > >
> > > > >and now you want to blame G-d. Here's the number of my
> shrink."
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >13. In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
> > > > commercialized. The
> > >
> > > > >same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor
> > > holiday. It
> > > > makes
> > >
> > > > >sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom
> Kippur?
> > > Forget
> > > > about
> > >
> > > > >celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve
> > > yourself for
> > > > 27
> > >
> > > > >hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your
> chest,
> > > confess
> > > > your
> > >
> > > > >sins, a guaranteed good time for you and your family.
> > Tickets a
> > > mere
> > > > $200
> > >
> > > > >per person.
> > >
> > > > >
> > >
> >
>
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