I too feel guilty for my moms black and tan Chihuahuas death when I was 12. My mom and I had just gotten home from a long day of shopping for summer camp and we had to carry in my trunk so my stepdad had left the door open for us and we had big dogs outside and little dogs inside and my stepdad had left the feed bucket for the big dogs on the patio and cash, my moms chi, got out and was licking it and a big dog came up and bit his head right on the soft spot and my mom and I held him while he passed away. I felt so bad for years and its eased some but when I think about him I still feel guilty even though there was a lot of things involved in his death I still feel like it was mostly my fault because we had to bring my trunk in. He was around 8 years old and its a good thing we had other chis to get us through that terrible time and we continued getting more to love.
And cash was my first chi, pumpkins mate and they had a baby, peaches, that we kept and pumpkin and peachy lived to be 16 and 14 and passed away from congenital heart disease a couple years ago a few months apart. Pumkin lived with it for 5 or 6 years and peachy just died from it suddenly 2 months after her mom died and when I think about all 3 of them i think about them in heaven all together again playing and one big happy family and I'm so glad I was able to enjoy them. And I just thought I'd share that with yall and now I have my chi monster who is so different then them and I love just as much and I don't know what I would do without him. Lorena Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T -----Original Message----- From: Nancy Lucky <[email protected]> Sender: [email protected] Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2010 10:27:23 To: <[email protected]> Reply-To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen / TO NANCY :) Pat, Thanks for sharing that with me. That is what the vet thinks Sami had and when I think back he did sleep a lot - but it was when I was sick and thought that he just got use to his life with me. Sometimes he would not wake up until 2 in the afternoon. He also only ate small amounts once a day and only drank water once a day. I thought that well he is a small dog and I thought it was normal. My daughter thinks that their were signs and I guess I did not know them. But I still think the bone was too rich for him and he got too ill and could not come back. I have his things too and they are in a box in my garage and I go and open it and I can still smell him on his blankie. It makes me happy to still be able to smell him. I know for a lot of people this is going to sound strange and people are not going to believe it. But when I got abbey after I had her for a few months, I prayed to Sami to give me a sign through Abbey that he was okay and that I would see him again. Well the whole time I had Abbey she always went potty on the front of my lawn by the drive way. I have a huge corner lot and Sami would only do his poo poo's at the very end of the lawn on the other side down the hill - so no one could see him. Well the next day I took Abbey out to go to the bathroom and she walked to the other side of the lawn down the hill and did her number 2's and to this day that is the only place she will have a bowel movement at. So silly or not I believe it was a sign from my baby telling me that he was okay. I know that you too even though your time was short with your baby would not change anything if you had to do it all again. I was chosen to be his mommy and he had the best two years any little guy could have. But I will always miss him so much. thanks for your story, it is all healing to me. I made an album of some of my favorite pictures of him of Facebook yesterday and it was so fun looking at all our special times. Hugs - Nancy andd the girls --- On Mon, 11/8/10, OKreationZ <[email protected]> wrote: From: OKreationZ <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen / TO NANCY :) To: [email protected] Date: Monday, November 8, 2010, 5:05 AM #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } #yiv2085095021 v\00003a* { } Nancy I have held off writing until finally I just had to.. I want to tell you about my Ashlee, she was not a Chihuahua but a Basenji and was the first dog my hubby and I got together.. We got her from our local pound and didn't even know what kind of pup she was until we took her to the vet. We had just seriously fallen in love with her immediately. She had kennel cough when we brought her home. I guess it is the one thing our local shelter/pound does not vaccinate against according to the vet we had (he has retired since then). She was very sick for a long time as a pup, but finally came around. She was super loving, obedient, smart and all around good dog. But unfortunately she also had a host of medical problems. I am sure I helped found my vets retirement in the 3 years she was alive. I do not regret a single penny spent. When she was about a year old it came to light that she had a congenital heart defect. Well when she was feeling ell this did not stop her from doing stuff like going out in her wading pool and splashing at the water with her foot so she could bite the bubbles.. We still have the pool but she is the only dog I have ever had that willing used it.. Lol.. I don't think I moved that she wasn't there. There were days when all I could get into her was instant oatmeal and the vet would say it is time. and then she would rally again. And she had such a zest for living that I had decided that she would let me know when it was time. Well to make a long story short and before I start crying.. About 4yrs ago, a friend went into assisted living and we took his 13yr old lab, Frosty in. Frosty was a loving and wonderful dog, who just happened to be old. Ashlee bonded fairly quickly with Frosty and they spent a lot of time together. But Ashlee always seemed to be checking her out. Around the time that it seemed that Ashlee had decided that Frosty was staying, she went to take her usual afternoon nap. Because she did tire easily I didn't think anything of it. Finally, I said to my hubby she sure seems to be sleeping a long time. And when I went to check on her, she had gone to the rainbow bridge. She was a little over 3 years. I still grieve and I still cry but no longer immediately upon talking about her. She was a card and oh she loved to wear clothes and I still have her little shirts and bandana's. Plus her collar, and the collars of the two labs that went to the Rainbow bridge. I probably always will have those items. I wonder sometimes if I could have done better with her, maybe took her to more vets, yada yada yada. Then my hubby reminds me that I gave her 3 years of love (she came out of a high kill shelter). I will never forget her, I was looking for another Basenji when I found my Tia and fell in love with Chi's.. Lol.. I just wanted to share to let you know it is okay to grieve. And it will get better. My non dog friends don't understand but then they don't understand Chihuahua clothes either.. Lol.. So hang in there and have peace my friend Big Huggles Pat in OK -------Original Message------- From: Nancy Lucky Date: 11/8/2010 1:41:45 AM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen / TO NANCY :) [5 Attachments] Shanna, Thank-you so much for your very understanding and loving letter. When I got done reading it I went through all of my pictures of Sami and did an album for him on Face Book. It brought back so many wonderful memories and I got to see that beautiful face again. He was such a beautiful boy and he really was a momma's boy - he did not care for a lot of people and he was very protective of me. But the people he knew and trusted he loved with all his little heart. I did not get him from a well known breeder - I actually owned a baby store and down the street was a piercing tattoo store. He had the cutest little girl chi named Turtle who he got from his friends in the mountains. When Turtle parents had another litter I bought Sami and I paid 500.00 for a non registered dog and I knew nothing about how he was breed or cared for - but it was love at first sight. The first bath I gave him, I put the towels in the dryer for him so they would be warm and when I dried him he growled at me. Well I stopped that by putting him on his back and telling him no and he never ever showed me any aggression again. I did have to work with him with the grand kids but he learned and became such a love. I got private lessons from a great trainer and she taught me how to train him and it worked and so began our love story. He went every where with me and the nights I was in pain, he would lay and lick my legs as that is where my pain was. He knew me better than I knew my self. He brought me so much love and joy. Thanks so much for letting me talk about him and giving me permission to still grieve - it was a year last month. I am sitting here right now watching my two little girls nestled in their heated bed sound asleep - they look so precious. I tried to pick up the baby to have her lay with me for awhile but she wanted back in bed with her sister. I think one of the reasons that I got another baby was because I still have this fear that something will happen to one of them and then at least I will not be alone again. But Abbey also lost her best friend who she played with every day as they moved out of state and everyday when we walked by her house she would cry and scratch at the door. So when Abbey's breeder sent me an email out of the blue and said that she breed Abbey's parents one last time and only one baby made it that she had this feeling that I needed to have her - so the rest is history. I am attaching a few pictures of Sami and thank you for asking I had so much fun doing his album on face book. Hugs and blessings and thanks so much for reaching out to me, it meant a lot to me. Can you believe my girlfriend and I put him in a dress - I just thought he was so pretty that he would make a beautiful girl - but even in a dress he was all boy! --- On Sun, 11/7/10, Kavi <[email protected]> wrote: From: Kavi <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen / TO NANCY :) To: [email protected] Date: Sunday, November 7, 2010, 7:47 PM #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 .yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-photo-title { TEXT-ALIGN:center;WIDTH:75px;HEIGHT:15px;CLEAR:both;FONT-SIZE:smaller;OVERFLOW:hidden;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-photo { BORDER-BOTTOM:black 1px solid;BORDER-LEFT:black 1px solid;BACKGROUND-COLOR:white;WIDTH:62px;BACKGROUND-REPEAT:no-repeat;BACKGROUND-POSITION:center 50%;HEIGHT:62px;BORDER-TOP:black 1px solid;BORDER-RIGHT:black 1px solid;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975photo-title A { TEXT-DECORATION:none;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975photo-title A:active { TEXT-DECORATION:none;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975photo-title A:hover { TEXT-DECORATION:none;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975photo-title A:visited { TEXT-DECORATION:none;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-table DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-row { CLEAR:both;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-table DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-row DIV { FLOAT:left;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 P { PADDING-BOTTOM:3px;PADDING-LEFT:0px;PADDING-RIGHT:0px;CLEAR:both;OVERFLOW:hidden;PADDING-TOP:15px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-file { WIDTH:30px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-table DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-row DIV DIV A { TEXT-DECORATION:none;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-table DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975attach-row DIV DIV SPAN { FONT-WEIGHT:normal;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 DIV.yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-file-title { FONT-WEIGHT:bold;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp { BORDER-BOTTOM:#d8d8d8 1px solid;BORDER-LEFT:#d8d8d8 1px solid;PADDING-BOTTOM:0px;MARGIN:10px 0px;PADDING-LEFT:10px;PADDING-RIGHT:10px;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;BORDER-TOP:#d8d8d8 1px solid;BORDER-RIGHT:#d8d8d8 1px solid;PADDING-TOP:0px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp HR { BORDER-BOTTOM:#d8d8d8 1px solid;BORDER-LEFT:#d8d8d8 1px solid;BORDER-TOP:#d8d8d8 1px solid;BORDER-RIGHT:#d8d8d8 1px solid;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975hd { LINE-HEIGHT:122%;MARGIN:10px 0px;COLOR:#628c2a;FONT-SIZE:85%;FONT-WEIGHT:700;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ads { MARGIN-BOTTOM:10px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp .yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ad { PADDING-BOTTOM:0px;PADDING-LEFT:0px;PADDING-RIGHT:0px;PADDING-TOP:0px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp .yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ad P { MARGIN:0px;} #yiv2085095021 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975 #yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ygrp-mkp .yiv2085095021yiv1870632975ad A { COLOR:#0000ff;TEXT-DECORATION:none;} Hi Nancy I read your story. its very heartbreaking to read. I think most of us have something in our lives that we wished we did not do at the time and regret it. I am not sure how long it has been since Sami passed, but each day will get better. Keep in mind that while he was with you, you gave him the best years he could ever have asked for. Now... do you think Sami would want you to be sad, depressed? NO.. he would not. I believe when he was here with you, when you were sad or depressed he comforted you.. and made you feel better. So now he does not want you to feel guilt, sadness, or be depressed. He is with you and watching you always, but he can not make you feel better unless you know that is what he wants. Sometimes, writing a letter to him, talking to his picture, singing, reading to him... will make YOU feel a bit better. You can say all the things you wished you could say. Talking to other people about it also can help. do not keep it inside. We are here for you.. if you want to tell us all about it 100's of times, we are here for you and will listen and give you full support. :) I cant say that I have ever been in your exact position, but I feel your pain. I know what guilt is like to carry with you. I am to this day, still carrying guilt about doing something that my grandma asked me not to do when I was 23, (now 56) but I did it anyway cause I was talked into it. Because I did what she asked me not to do, she was without her car forever! I dont want to really get into it, but I do know what carrying guilt is all about. We have to focus on the future, and live day to day. Its hard... I know, but we have to try. That is the way I live day to day. I hope you will please still write about Sami here on the group. Send some pictures too. I do not think I have ever seen pictures, as I am fairly new. and I love doggie pic! I had to write what I felt... I hope no one is upset. :) I hope to see pic soon Shanna --- On Sun, 11/7/10, Nancy Lucky <[email protected]> wrote: From: Nancy Lucky <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen To: [email protected] Date: Sunday, November 7, 2010, 3:06 PM I bought something very similar to this at pet express - all natural - no additives or hormones - but abbey did not like it at all. I am going to try it again and see if Maggie likes it. it was 8.00 for a bag of about 8 ounces - i was glad that they had small bags to try and this lady there who feeds her babies raw says this is the next best thing. I do cook my girls organic free range chicken and they have that for breakfast and love it. I am still on the fence but falling softly over....this is my fear the night before my Sami passed away my girlfriend brought him over a ham hock bone that she used to make beans with. My other girlfriend told me that I should not give it to him - but then Denise came over and said has Sami tried the bone yet so I let him have it and of course he loved it all the bone marrow. I have a picture of him eating it as he was so happy. That was the night he got sick and then he died at 1 pm and I have carried this guilt in my heart for so long as I felt I killed my baby. I am crying right now as I am writing this as no matter what anyone tells me, I keep going back to that bone and blaming my self. My sweet girlfriend felt so guilty too - she even slept here at my house for several days as I was suicidal it was one of the lowest parts of my life ever and I felt that I killed my baby who I adored and would of ran in the street to save him. My vet thinks that it has nothing to do with it but I do. Of course to do a necropsy it is 2,000 and I could not afford it. This is the first time I have shared the whole story as it is still so painful to me to think that I killed my baby boy that loved me so much and trusted me. I got him when I first got ill and lost my job of 25 years and a baby boutique that I owned with my daughter-in-law and my health and all my friends at work who were like family to me - so he was my whole world. So that is my fear. I felt like the worst mommy ever. I took Sami to the vet every time he sneezed. I had even taken him to ER one night because he threw up and it cost me 1,000. He had been to the vet three days before this because he had a little limp and I was worried. I am going to stop emailing you all about this as I want to put it to rest, but I felt that I needed to share my truth with you all as you have all been so honest with me. I feel God placed you wonderful women in my life at a time I so desperately needed you all. When you think about what one little chihuahua can do to change you life and the people you meet it gives me chills. I have wanted to tell you all the whole story but it takes me time to trust and plus I still carry so much quilt in my heart. Maybe you can pray for me that God will lift this burden from me. I pray every night but it is still with me. I know that someday I will see the little 3lb boy who changed my life again. Thank you for letting me share. With love and blessings to all, Nancy and her girls --- On Sun, 11/7/10, Deanna Corey <[email protected]> wrote: From: Deanna Corey <[email protected]> Subject: [Chihuahuas] Honest Kitchen To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], "Poodle Group" <[email protected]>, [email protected], [email protected] Date: Sunday, November 7, 2010, 1:48 PM Hey Everyone, A friend of mine recently sent me some Honest Kitchen dog food samples...THANKS J.A.!!! And we finally got around to trying it out this morning. I normally feed raw...and do grind for the littles as I worry about bone fragments...but I have to say they all went CRAZY for the one called Force...which is a dehydrated but raw Chicken, veggies and fruit...no grains. I wondered if any of you have ever used it. They did like the other one...the VERVE...which is the beef option but went absolutely NUTS for the FORCE. I have never seen them so excited over a food. Would you guys look into it or tell me if you use it what you think??? PROS???? CONS????Thanks in advance! Waggin' Tails in The Dog Park, Deanna and The Dog Park Pack: Nugget, Shuai-Li, Mouse, Myrtle, Mable, and Caleb and honorary non-dog members of The Dog Park: Stella-Macaw, Stanley-Amazon, Miles the cat www.joys4toys.com Scraps ©Delicious Scraps A MienekeIX Stat May 5th 2009 ------------------------------------ " Lets talk about our wonderful little friends! Join today! " Yahoo! 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