Oh, Lorena…I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You should be thankful that he at least decided to tell you this. I do believe that he loves you…because it does require love to make a decision that is looking at what is best for YOU. He wants you to have the world; he knows that his music will be all time consuming and doesn’t feel that it is fair to you when you may barely have time to see each other. I think that you would agree that it is better that he tells you this now, rather than after you are married.
I know sometimes family wants to mold you one way, but the truth is that you are the one that should be, and is, in control of your life and where it will lead. I don’t know how far you are in your studies, but perhaps the classes that you have taken can be applied to some other career. In today’s world, there are companies that are hiring people because they have a degree (in any field) over some that have tons of experience but no degree. Take time to try to decide what path you would like to follow for your career. You are stressed about Monster, and understandably you have just been dealt a decision from your fiancé that had to have spun your head around several times and your mind is too cluttered with all that to think clearly about where you are headed. Some State employment offices, and maybe colleges and universities, have the tests that you take where you answer many questions – some of which you wonder exactly what that has to do with finding a career – but in the end it will let you know some specific jobs or career paths that you would excel in. By doing something just because your family wouldn’t understand why you are changing your path, you are only hurting yourself. Perhaps all that has happened in the last few days is meant for you to stop and take a look at YOU…who you are; what you would really like to do for a career; and maybe even some other decisions. I will never be what my siblings want me to be…I am who I am; I do what I do because that is who I am. You are young, you have a long life ahead of you. You need to make the decisions on your own…what you did in this post is what you need to do. Ask people who you know and respect and you will get a lot of good advice. As far as feeling alone…I am at least old enough to be your mother, maybe even old enough to be your grandmother. I have never been married, and after living with my Mom (widowed when I was four) until she passed away, I was suddenly alone. When she passed away we were in the process of moving from Escondido (down by San Diego) to North Las Vegas for my health. In Feb 2008 I had to stop working due to my spinal injuries; in April 2008 Mom passed away; and by the end of July 2008 I was living here and did not know a single person except for the gal that sold me my house. With all those changes, my head was spinning, I didn’t know how I could go on…didn’t want to believe that I would never be able to work again. You will be surprised that when you change your college major, make new friends, or even move to a different place – that although it seems like you are lost in space you will find people that are open and genuine to be your friend, your confidante, and maybe even a nice guy who will make YOU the center of his life. I have been single forever and I don’t think that it made me a bad person, but rather I think that it helped to make me a stronger, more confident person. Anytime that you want to talk or to vent…please feel free to email me directly if it is not something that you want to blast on the group. I think that you will find that you have so many friends here…we are all on your side pulling for you. Joan, Dolly Dee & Desi Lou From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of [email protected] Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 7:11 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Monster Its not that he didn't get all the way better last time. He probably did but he has a few disks that could be prone to this so this time its a different disk I believe. Some very OT stuff now that I need to get off my chest... I hope you don't mind... If you don't wanna read my life story then you should stop now. I'm going through some really tough personal stuff that started a couple days ago. I currently have a fiance and am going to college. Our relationship has always been rocky except for the last year or so. Well, recently, he has made some changes in the way he thinks and he is now extremely focused on his music career and he's really passionate about it. I am really happy for him but I don't know what's gonna happen with us... We really love each other but the way he keeps talking about the future makes me think I'm not in it. We talked about it and still have a lot more talking to do but he says that he doesn't know if I'm in his future or not. He says he can't see that far because he's so focused on his career now. My biggest problem is that I don't know what I want to do with my life, what I'm really passionate about... I'm extremely lost right now and I've just been crying for hours at a time. The more I think about it, the more lost I get. I look around me and I'm terrified of change and being alone. My fiance isn't breaking up with me as of now but he did say it was a mistake asking me to marry him because it wasn't fair to us because we haven't found ourselves yet. I want you to know that I'm not mad at him or hate him or anything for this and I don't want any hate mail against him. I just want and need someone else's advice. I barely have one friend and we're aren't close friends yet and I can't talk to my family because they are always negative about him and would focus on that instead of helping me. I need to figure out what will make me happy. I thought I was getting this degree (wildlife biology) for me but I'm not happy with it and I think I'm pretty much trying to finish school for everyone else because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. My whole life I've thought about everyone else and now I need to think about me and I'm having an incredibly hard time doing that. I have no idea who I am. I know I love Monster and whatever I do has to include him. I know I love Arthur too but it takes two to keep a relationship going and even though he loves me, he's found his calling and I'm not gonna make him give that up. Any advice is appreciated and if there is none, thanks for listening... I really needed to "talk" it out. Lorena Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T _____ From: Joan Croft <[email protected]> Sender: [email protected] Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2011 18:18:30 -0700 To: <[email protected]> ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: RE: [Chihuahuas] Monster I agree with you that he needs some holding and loving. He may be looking at you strangely because of the meds he is on. I stare like that sometimes…LOL I really do hope that he gets all the way well this time. It looks like your vet is very good that he uses laser surgery for the disks. Joan, Dolly Dee & Desi Lou From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of [email protected] Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 3:06 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Monster I might try that when he starts wanting out. He's really not that bad but it hurts me to have to leave him in the crate all the time. I do take him out and hold him for a little while even though some say not to do that. They need the love and to be held some. Sometimes, like right now, he lays there and just stares at me and I feel like he's thinking let me out. It takes 8 wks for a disk to heal all the way and that's how long you're supposed to keep them on crate rest... Lorena Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T _____ From: Joan Croft <[email protected]> Sender: [email protected] Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2011 13:47:42 -0700 To: <[email protected]> ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: RE: [Chihuahuas] Monster Prayers for Monster. Do you think that if you gave him some calming chews or something else it would make his time in the crate easier? Maybe some new treat or something to chew on while he is in there. Joan, Dolly Dee & Desi Lou From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of [email protected] Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2011 10:17 AM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Monster Well, I'm at the vet now and Monster is getting a laser therapy treatment. He's also gonna be on a few meds and on crate rest for a few weeks just like last time. He's not near as bad as he was last time so I'm glad for that. I still wish he didn't have to go through this. Crate rest is the worst because he has to stay in it 24/7 and its so hard when he starts feeling better and wanting to play because I can't let him or the disk won't heal properly. And even after crate rest he won't be able to do much as his return to activity has to be gradual. Maybe the laser therapy will make it heal faster. We had just started going on walks again because the weather is so nice and I'm gonna miss that. Back home now. He finished the therapy treatment and we had to drive back home before I could finish this email. He's doing even better now. It looks like the laser therapy is already working. He may be getting some more therapy treatments. I need go do some more research on it so I know what exactly it is doing and what, if any, questions I need to ask the vet. Lorena Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T _____ From: [email protected] Sender: [email protected] Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2011 11:30:18 -0400 (EDT) To: <[email protected]> ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Monster Oh, Lorena, I am so sorry to hear Monster is still having problems. I have been wondering about you since you haven't posted in a while. Keep us updated, please. Sending healing glows to Monster. Gloria -----Original Message----- From: lgorum18 <[email protected]> To: chihuahuas <[email protected]> Sent: Mon, Oct 31, 2011 9:31 pm Subject: [Chihuahuas] Monster Monster may be having another disk episode.... For those of you new here, Monster was diagnosed with disk disease in March after being in a lot of pain and not wanting to move. Right now he isn't as bad as last time. He isn't yelping and he still tries to walk around. I can tell he's in pain become he is shaking some and his abdomen is really tight. I have him in his crate so he won't move around and hurt it any further. I just talked to the vet and he said to give him some meds that I have leftover from last time and bring him in in the morning. Lorena Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
