Malcolm,

My kids were 10 & 11 when I was dx'd three years ago.  We told them 
everything we knew within the first week, and have kept them fully 
informed ever since.  Frankly, it was a relief not to have to worry 
about "who knows what" and whether a neighbor would let something 
slip to the kids.  Kids KNOW when something's going on, anyway.

The first book I read after dx was "When a Parent Has Cancer" by Dr. 
Wendy S. Harpham, an internist and long-term lymphoma survivor who 
was dx'd when her three kids were quite young.  She is approx. 13 
years past her first dx and has weathered several recurrences, and 
now speaks and writes extensively.  I found her approach very 
comforting and calm.

Another good website for info on talking to children:

http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Relationshipscommunica
tion/Talkingtochildren

My kids have been my biggest supporters through this whole CML 
journey, able to express their feelings and "get it" when sometimes 
it's just too hard for a spouse to handle.  The kids have not fallen 
apart.  They know what the various tests are, what my numbers should 
be, ask me questions (yes, even "are you going to die?"), and have 
absorbed it into their universe.  Both have done science projects on 
CML at school, unbeknownst to me until after the fact.  

I would have never wished in a million years that they would have to 
deal with the serious illness of a parent, but they have matured 
from the experience in ways that make me proud.  They have also 
become quite handy around the house, learning to do laundry, 
yardwork and to cook.  As the mom to two now-teenage boys, I am 
QUITE thankful they are learning these skills now.  I expect to be 
around to hear my future daughters-in-law thank me for making them 
self-sufficient!  :*)

All the best, 
Lori
dx 5/13/02
Zavie # 472
2 yrs. 10 miu IFN daily, 
1 year 600 mg Gleevec, now at .0003




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