Hi all, Well all is not looking to rosey in Terryland, and I know it might be a bit much for me to air my dirty laundry within the group, but I figure what the hell. Regina and I have had a major set back, so I am not sure what is going to happen. Oh and about the joke, if you have read any of my post in the past I have a very dark sense of humor so I did laugh..hehe On my way back to get my son, I did allot of thinking. It is okay to be alone. At least that is what I am telling myself..hehe. I come with allot of baggage, and to be honest I want to be loved for me, not what I can do for someone, or how I am in bed, etc.. With the appearance I have I have to realize that it will not always attract the best people in the world. Long black hair and being pale..hehe I am not sure what is going to happen to my life at this point, but I am done being used, and I am done feeling like I have to be with someone. If she comes along she doesn't, if she does great. The only problem I am having is the wall I can feel being built around me. I am not having a pity party or anything but after having my wife leave me because of my CML, and then meeting someone I think just wants a place seems to want a place to live rather than really want me..Well I am getting colder, and withdrawn. Again this is not a pity party I am just a very up front person and I do care about this group and the people in it, so I might as well be the soap opera of the group..hehe I think the bottom line is I need to just be happy with myself before I look for someone to be happy with. I am not gonna lie...Kerry(my ex wife) put a scar on my heart that will not be easy to heal, I knew when I was dxed it might be a strain on us, I went from making good money to chicken feed, but I never expected what I got from her..The sad thing is I am over her, just not what was done if that makes sense. I will be 40 in December, and I have nothing to show for it. Granted I let my ex have everything but still here I am. I will be 40 and am living at my parents house??? Granted I help them out money wise, but damn that is sad. Well if anything I will try to start doing my best to be as active as I was before if not more within the group to help anyone I can, that is the least I can do. I will be fine, I have no choice, I have a son that needs me, so no worries, Take care,
Terry On 11/16/06, Annie <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Hi again Katy > > Since Steven was diagnosed, he always said he wanted to be treated the > same as before, that he did not want people to get scared to use words, > phrases or jokes about death, dying or illness or anything else either. > During one stage at work, he had to pick up heavy boxes of books and > when he got tired he would joke with his co-workers there saying "you > cant make me do that, dude! I've got cancer!" - always with a put-on > deeper, joking voice with the smile.... The first time he did this he > said he had to 'rescue' them all - and he said that they all ended up > having a glorious laugh. Now they threaten to "bury him before his > time" if he rags them too much. He says this is SO much more > comfortable than that feeling of people watching what they say around > him. He really has a wonderful group of friends around him and they > all say Steven has taught them so much about dealing with cancer, > simply by his attitude about it all. > > Seeing as I am not the one with this cancer, I really cannot comment on > how I would feel in his, or any one else's shoes. I can only take this > lesson from my 23 year old son and know that its good for him. And > because its good for him - its good for everyone around him too - we > all breathe easier. LOL. > > Yes, there is a need to be careful what is said, I do agree. I have an > uncomfortable habit of putting both my feet squarely in my mouth many > times, unintentionally and unfortunately :-( Everyone deals with > their illness in a different ways - and thats the wonder of being > human. > > Hugs back to you, Katy. > Love > Annie > livingwithcml.blogspot.com > > > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ [CMLHope] A support group of http://cmlhope.com ------------------------------------------------- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "CMLHope" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/CMLHope -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
