Peg, Sorry you are struggling. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. On Mar 19, 2014 9:06 PM, "peg" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Hi Guys, > > Thank you for all the kind words and especially the prayers...I will take > that. I learned a long time ago that the worst thing anyone has ever been > through is the worst thing they have been through compared to no one else. > I know we all have a burden to bear and mine is not any worse that anyone > elses! I am working today on staying in the present, because truthfully > today is really not any different than before I got the news...it is just > making it harder to find my peace and stay centered in that! > > I do have both Medicare and Medicaid, so cost of my care is not the > problem, it is the down time away from my business. I am already on > disability. It doesn't pay me much, but I still have a business contract, > that is now very tiny, but that keeps us from being homeless. I have not > been able in 18 years to take down time from it though, not even a > vacation. If I do now I will lose the contract. That is the financial > worry I have. Tried to get a refi on our home, but a modification we did a > few years ago prevents that. The payment is far lower than what rent is in > Southern Calif where I live, but if I could have gotten it a bit lower we > would have been okay. > > Rob, thanks for the great referral, unfortunately it does not apply to > us. My husband's aquired brain damage is not from an injury. It was a > chemical exposure that took about 30 years to do it's damage, but when it > did it took his pancreas and part of his brain. Not enough to be > completely dysfunctional, but just enough to be dangerous. He is > emotionally about 5 years old and does crazy things that only make sense to > him at the time, like the time he put a screwdriver across the high voltage > side of our electrical panel, and twice now I have walked in to find the > house full of gas! It would be funny if it wasn't so scarey! He can't > manage his insulin pump by himself and requires breathing equipment at > night. It's a circus some days, but managable. But it all kind of rests > on me. > > Having said all of that...it's not all bad. I had a dear friend, Walter, > who when he found out he had metastisize prostate cancer, decided not to > tell anyone. I only found out by accident...his wife never did until the > end. In that decision, Walter told me that he loved his life and didn't > want cancer robbing him of one minute more of it than absolutely required. > He believed, and rightly so, that if his wife, children, their spouses, his > staff, all knew, it would change his life and how they interacted with him. > While my life is not as wonderful as Walter's and everyone already knows I > have cancer...this news I got on Friday was keeping me from looking at, and > for, the good things in my life! It was like a huge canopy of fear that > overshadowed everything. It keeps me from walking by my faith instead of > by my sight. And as we know, the storm we see does not come from our > faith, whatever that is to each of us! > > So, this is what I am working on today, and you are all my hope and > inspiration! Thank you!! peg > > On Wednesday, March 19, 2014 10:03:09 AM UTC-7, peg wrote: >> >> Hey Guys, >> After 25 years with an unpredictible disease like MS, I thought I could >> roll with the punches, but this week really knocked me flat. It would >> appear, after further consideration, that the lesions seen in both my lungs >> since August could actually be lung cancer. What the heck??!! This would >> be the fourth primary, unrelated cancer in three years time! CML and >> Melanoma in 2010, Gastric Tumor in 2013 (but first seen in retrospect in >> early 2011)....and now this! We haven't even figured out how to get to the >> Gastric Tumor yet. I thought we finally reached a good plan for that last >> month, but this would definitely be a game changer. Looks like the only >> way they can get a solid answer is going to be with some major >> surgery....which is the reason that we hadn't been able to get the Gastric >> Tumor out. Serious health and recovery issues aside for a moment, the down >> time for major is surgery is an obsticle that could leave my husband and I >> homeless with no where to turn to. And on top of that, during my >> hospitalization/recovery there is no one to help my husband, who has brain >> damage, care for himself...he just can't be in the house alone. Of >> course....if we no longer have a house....sorry just a bit of dark humor! >> Lots of questions still, but no answers yet! Think I need a hug! peg >> > -- > -- > [CMLHope] > A support group of http://cmlhope.com > ------------------------------------------------- > > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "CMLHope" group. > To post to this group, send email to [email protected] > To unsubscribe from this group, send email to > [email protected] > For more options, visit this group at > http://groups.google.com/group/CMLHope > --- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "CMLHope" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- -- [CMLHope] A support group of http://cmlhope.com ------------------------------------------------- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "CMLHope" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/CMLHope --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "CMLHope" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
