A Gringos Guide to Cuban Medical Folklore!
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> 1. Bazo (Cup) - Organ located in the abdominal cavity of latins,
> especially Cubans.
> Equivalent to the American Spleen, but much more complex.
> 2. Destemplanza (off temperature) - Elevated body temperature, not high
> enough to be considered a fever; but serious enough to miss school or
> work. Most prevalent in Cuban children.
> 3. Patatun (no translation) - Attack of unknown origin that can strike
> at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization.
> Victims tend to be Cuban males over the age of 50; females can also be
> affected.
> 4. Sirimba o Sirimbeta - Attack similar to the symptoms as the one
> above, but of shorter duration and far less
> (no translation) serious consequences.
> 5. Aire (air) - Common malady that results when someone steps outdoors
> suddenly. Particularly at night, without proper attire. Characterized by
> sharp, intermittent pain. Can affect any part of the body.
> 6. Empacho (no translation) - Digestive disorder which usually results
> after the intake of a very large meal. Happens at least once a day to most
> Cubans, but is more prevalent on "Noche Buena" (Christmas EVE ).
> Treatment includes "sal de frutas" (fruited salts AKA Alka Seltzer is
> completely unaffected) and other assorted "cosimientos" (home made herbal
> tea).
> 7. Locura Ovarial ( Ovarian- induced dementia) - Strange phenomena
> which occurs when a woman proceeds to wash her hair on the first day of
> her menstrual cycle. Can also strike if a woman takes a shower in the 40
> days immediately following childbirth. Symptoms include inappropriate and
> sometimes violent behavior requiring the sufferer to be committed. First
> studied at Cuba's Mazora Clinic for the Terminally Insane. Every Cuban
> family knows of at least on case.
> 8. Mollera (no translation) - Soft spot found on a Cuban newborn's
> cranium. Much more sensitive than American newborns. The slightest
> pressure applied to this area can lead to irreparable brain damage due to
> it's heightened sensitivity, direct contact with this area should be
> avoided until the child reaches puberty!
> 9. Enfriamiento (Coldness) - Sudden coldness. Can hit at anytime and
> cause the victim's metabolism to slow down drastically. Usually results
> after emotional episode (which in Cubans can be due to almost anything).
> 10. Chichon (Bump) - Elevated cranial protrusion resulting from a blow
> or bruise to the head. Usually manifests following a "sirimba" or
> "patatun".
> 11. Chochera (no translation) - Syndrome affecting all Cuban senior
> citizens to different degrees. Characterized by all around bitchiness and
> irritating behavior. Treatment is to permanently stay at the nearest
> nursing home.
> 12. Punzada del Guajiro ( Punch from the country bumpkin) - Sharp pain
> of short duration in the head, occurring after ingesting a particularly
> cold beverage. First reported in "Guajiros" (Cuban hicks), upon
> experiencing refrigerated liquids. Although bothersome, it doesn't have
> long term effects.
> 13. Muneca Abierta ( Open Doll) - Dislocation of the wrist. Frequent
> condition that usually follows an unsuccessful attempt at opening a
> particularly tight jar of "Casquitos de Guayaba" or a bottle of "Malta".
> 14. Cuerpo Cortado ( Cut Body) - Frequent and mild unknown symptoms.
> Symptoms include, but are not limited to: fatigue, lack of energy, and
> chronic whining.
> 15. Mono Virado ( twisted bun) - Psychological Imbalance of short
> duration that causes strange mood swings, violent and irritating behavior,
> as well as general unpleasantness. extremely common. Can strike anyone
> regardless of age or sex.
> 16. Rabadilla or Huesito de la Alegria ( Little bone of happiness) -
> Skeletal region located at the end of a Cuban's spinal cord. Common site
> of pain in older individuals. Has absolutely no equivalent in the Gringo's
> anatomy.
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