Fascinating that we've all learned mostly the same things at wedding and other 
ONS dances...
 
The "Rose" dance, or "Fan" dance, or "Hat Dance" is also fun to do with a broom 
- the person in the middle who gets stuck with the broom can chase the dancing 
couple down the hall a ways, while "Sweeping them away," if they want. 
 
I've tried this one with various props, and I think the broom has been the most 
fun, and funny.
 
Ben Allbrandt
 
 

> On 07/05/2023 10:00 AM EDT Tony Parkes via Contra Callers 
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>  
>  
> 
> This is just about my favorite dance-game, but I had never encountered the 
> name “Favor of the Rose” before. I first learned it as “The Rose and the 
> Thorn,” then more recently heard “A Rose Between Two Thorns” (of course, 
> traditionally it’s gendered and typically starts with a lady between two 
> gents). It’s also known as “The Hat Dance” or “The Fan Dance,” depending on 
> the prop used.
> 
>  
> 
> By coincidence, just last Saturday I bought a satin rose on plastic stem, to 
> replace one that I had carried in my kit for years and that had recently 
> disappeared. The new one is huge – twice the size and length of the old one; 
> that’s what they had at Jo-Ann’s this time. I wasn’t sure I liked it at 
> first, but I’m warming to it. I got it to use at Saturday night’s gig – a 
> country club’s annual summer party for members & families – but I barely had 
> enough people for a decent Galopede.
> 
>  
> 
> Tony Parkes
> 
> Billerica, Mass.
> 
> www.hands4.com http://www.hands4.com/
> 
> New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century
> 
> (available now)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> From: Neal Schlein via Contra Callers <[email protected]>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 5, 2023 12:32 AM
> To: Mac Mckeever <[email protected]>
> Cc: Shared Weight Callers <[email protected]>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
> 
>  
> 
> Second the Grand March, super simple square-ish dance, and some kind of 
> Virginia Reel—especially for more thematic weddings.  Also a scatter 
> promenade (WITH partner), Big Circle with no partners needed, and La 
> Bastringue. 
> 
>  
> 
> I would not bother with ballroom swings, and building to a contra is only 
> relevant if that’s what the couple wants and they are specifically inviting 
> people to a DANCE. 
> 
>  
> 
> One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is Favor of the Rose: it is an absolute 
> favorite of mine and my dance community.
> 
>  
> 
> Favor of the Rose
> 
>  
> 
> -Line up three chairs and get a rose (or whatever).
> 
> -Form two lines of people, one on either side (any criteria, inequal is 💯 
> fine).
> 
> -Position the bride or groom in the middle chair and give them the rose.
> 
> -Bring two people from one line and have them sit.  Center person gives rose 
> to one, dances up center with the other. 
> 
> -Remaining person moves to center chair. Repeat, alternating lines.
> 
>  
> 
> Neal Schlein
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 3:14 PM Mac Mckeever via Contra Callers 
> <[email protected] 
> mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> > 
> > I always start with a grand march - no teaching and eases some of the fear 
> > of doing other dances
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > You can put the bride and groom in the second slot and announce they 
> > request participation from all guests
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > Mac
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > On Tuesday, July 4, 2023 at 04:10:09 PM CDT, Rich Sbardella via Contra 
> > Callers <[email protected] 
> > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > 
> >  
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > I am enjoying this thread.  
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > I have called weddings with a full dance floor with long periods of 
> > dancing, and others which have a few dancers who only dance for a short 
> > period.  I had always felt like I failed when I did not get the 
> > participation I imagined, but I too have learned that our dances flavor the 
> > event, but we are not the main attraction.
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > I do not generally require deposits for party dances, but I do for weddings 
> > and outdoor events.  I had a wedding to call last month that was cancelled 
> > about seven days before the scheduled date, and without an explanation.  It 
> > was the first time in 30 years that I kept a deposit, and I am still 
> > conflicted about it.  Any previous cancellations were weather related, and 
> > I applied the deposit to a rescheduled event.
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > I have also called several wedding rehearsal dances, and generally get 
> > great participation from the attendees.
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > One of my favorite dances for weddings and rehearsal dinners is Rural 
> > Felicity.
> > 
> > At such events I rename the dance to Tunnel of Love, and I have the Bride 
> > and Groom as the 1st Top Couple.
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > A1  LL F&B, Top Pair Sashay to foot
> > 
> > A2  LL F&B,  Same Pair Sashay to top
> > 
> > B1  P DSD, 2 Hand Turn and Make an Arch (Tunnel)
> > 
> > B2  Top Pair lead down under the Arches
> > 
> >  
> > 
> >  I have a wedding to call this weekend, and I am looking forward to it.
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > Rich Sbardella
> > 
> > Stafford Springs, CT
> > 
> >  
> > 
> > On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 2:43 PM Erik Hoffman via Contra Callers 
> > <[email protected] 
> > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > 
> > > 
> > > I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it 
> > > simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel).
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for 
> > > Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around 
> > > the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a 
> > > club, or even a birthday party:
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get 
> > > together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to 
> > > get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We 
> > > callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and 
> > > families to interact with each other.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in 
> > > Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I 
> > > always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, 
> > > Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and 
> > > Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then 
> > > the Virginia Reel.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first 
> > > weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes 
> > > and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you 
> > > notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and 
> > > groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of 
> > > helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with 
> > > two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each 
> > > other, the job can be done.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number 
> > > of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four 
> > > dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a 
> > > judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings 
> > > people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > ~Erik Hoffman
> > > 
> > > Oakland, CA
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers 
> > > <[email protected] 
> > > mailto:[email protected]>
> > > Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM
> > > To: Shared Weight Callers <[email protected] 
> > > mailto:[email protected]>
> > > Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to 
> > > go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but 
> > > disagree on what constitutes “really easy.”
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita 
> > > that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think 
> > > the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one 
> > > thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as 
> > > dosido or swing.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series 
> > > dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s 
> > > needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the 
> > > room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call 
> > > one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike 
> > > them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in 
> > > the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new 
> > > one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to 
> > > compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe 
> > > (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they 
> > > don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at 
> > > one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my 
> > > one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 
> > > 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than 
> > > the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So 
> > > I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what 
> > > I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My 
> > > average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve 
> > > done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the 
> > > big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests 
> > > have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not 
> > > expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned 
> > > your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it 
> > > clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who 
> > > want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.)
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into 
> > > reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully 
> > > always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a 
> > > taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Tony Parkes
> > > 
> > > Billerica, Mass.
> > > 
> > > www.hands4.com http://www.hands4.com/
> > > 
> > > New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century
> > > 
> > > (available now)
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers 
> > > <[email protected] 
> > > mailto:[email protected]>
> > > Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM
> > > To: Shared Weight Callers <[email protected] 
> > > mailto:[email protected]>
> > > Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another 
> > > group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner 
> > > again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles 
> > > and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into 
> > > it and want something more complicated.
> > > 
> > >  
> > > 
> > > On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers 
> > > <[email protected] 
> > > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > > 
> > > > 
> > > > I’ll add two points of my own.  I was once hired to call dances at a 
> > > > wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from 
> > > > the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a 
> > > > surprise  for the bride and groom.  Since them I have had a strict 
> > > > policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program 
> > > > directly with the bride.  
> > > > 
> > > >  
> > > > 
> > > > The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always 
> > > > try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the 
> > > > room.  Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there 
> > > > for other reasons.  (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” 
> > > > category.)  Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody 
> > > > there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the 
> > > > event thinking they were going to learn anything that day.
> > > > 
> > > >  
> > > > 
> > > > My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance 
> > > > that is too simple to call at a wedding.  It is very easy to call a 
> > > > dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple.  
> > > > To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at 
> > > > weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, 
> > > > Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a 
> > > > different opposite couple.  (This is plenty complex enough to be 
> > > > entertaining at a wedding!)
> > > > 
> > > >  
> > > > 
> > > > Good luck!
> > > > 
> > > > Sent from my iPhone
> > > > 
> > > >  
> > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > > On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers 
> > > > > <[email protected] 
> > > > > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > >  
> > > > > 
> > > > > I agree with a lot of what was said.  I'll just add a couple of 
> > > > > things.
> > > > > 
> > > > > I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring 
> > > > > me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine.  If 
> > > > > they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand 
> > > > > that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to 
> > > > > happen.  I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is 
> > > > > the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or 
> > > > > bring appropriate shoes.  I always start off with something like La 
> > > > > Bastringue.  Keep it easy and fun.  Don't go too long on any dance, 
> > > > > but long enough that they really get it and are having fun.  I love 
> > > > > doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together.  I think 
> > > > > that really pleases the B & G.
> > > > > 
> > > > > I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell 
> > > > > people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 
> > > > > 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular 
> > > > > contra dance can be found all over the country.  I try to stay as 
> > > > > invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their 
> > > > > family and friends.
> > > > > 
> > > > > Spread the love!
> > > > > 
> > > > > Roberta Kogut
> > > > > 
> > > > > 
> > > > > Get TypeApp for Android http://www.typeapp.com/r
> > > > > 
> > > > > On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers 
> > > > > <[email protected] 
> > > > > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > > > > 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Hi
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > I have done a lot of weddings....
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance,  
> > > > > > community dance dances,.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun. 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event?  
> > > > > > If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they 
> > > > > > dance  the full first set otherwise their  guests will not feel 
> > > > > > required to do so.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they 
> > > > > > have been drinking)
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that 
> > > > > > there will be traditional dancing and their participation is 
> > > > > > expected.   Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing 
> > > > > > ...flats , lace up s,  NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help 
> > > > > > you dance .....
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big 
> > > > > > enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 
> > > > > > hours each way  charge a gas fee)
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging 
> > > > > > about $1,000 a night.  Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 
> > > > > > fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system? 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia 
> > > > > > Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc)
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, 
> > > > > > do-si-do etc
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Will there be small children ...another issue.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late   ...speeches run 
> > > > > > over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc.  You may be invited 
> > > > > > to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another 
> > > > > > extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an 
> > > > > > extra hour  I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and 
> > > > > > we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 
> > > > > > minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Good Luck....
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > Lorraine Sutton  Ontario, Canada
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > >  
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers 
> > > > > > <[email protected] 
> > > > > > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any 
> > > > > > > interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. 
> > > > > > > You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, 
> > > > > > > do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand 
> > > > > > > turn.
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers 
> > > > > > > <[email protected] 
> > > > > > > mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my 
> > > > > > > > first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice 
> > > > > > > > online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach 
> > > > > > > > it, what are good dances to call?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn 
> > > > > > > > dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end?  Try to 
> > > > > > > > teach a swing?  Some advice I've gotten so far:
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what 
> > > > > > > > kind of music, trad or pop?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and 
> > > > > > > > surface
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Duration - how long they'll want to dance
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Dancers - how many, any experienced guests?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will)
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee 
> > > > > > > > if there is)
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Will many women be in high heels?
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > I welcome any advice!  My main goal in taking wedding gigs is 
> > > > > > > > recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters.
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > Thanks,
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > --jh--
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > >  
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > _______________________________________________
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> > > > > > > > mailto:[email protected]
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > _______________________________________________
> > > > > > > Contra Callers mailing list -- 
> > > > > > > [email protected] 
> > > > > > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > > > > > > mailto:[email protected]
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > > > > 
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> > > > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > > > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > > > [email protected] 
> > > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > > 
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> > > mailto:[email protected]
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> > 
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> Neal Schlein
> 
> Librarian, MSLIS
> 
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