[Cooker]

[Daniel Hammer]

BS''D

... since our lovely M$ looks not good in the last days they feel forced
to publish finally the source code to Windows 2000. Billy said yesterday
that he wishes that this code should be compiled, if possible, as a kernel
module for kernel version 2.4 in the new Mandrake distro. 
:-)

/*  Source Code to Windows 2000    */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
  while(!CRASHED)
    {
      display_copyright_message();
      display_bill_rules_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      if (first_time_installation)
        {
          make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
          do_nothing_loop();
          totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
          search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
          make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
          disable_Netscape();
          disable_RealPlayer();
          disable_Lotus_Products();
          hang_system();
        }
      
      write_something(anything);
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_some_stuff();
      
      if (still_not_crashed)
        {
          display_copyright_message();
          do_nothing_loop();
          basically_run_windows_3.1();
          do_nothing_loop();
          do_nothing_loop();
        }
    }
  
  if (detect_cache())
    disable_cache();
  
  if (fast_cpu())
    {
      set_wait_states(lots);
      set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
      set_mouse(action, jumpy);
      set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    }
  
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");      */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");    */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");        */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");        */
  /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
  printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
  
  if (system_ok())
    crash(to_dos_prompt)
      else
        system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
  
  while(something)
    {
      sleep(5);
      get_user_input();
      sleep(5);
      act_on_user_input();
      sleep(5);
    }
  create_general_protection_fault();
}