-Caveat Lector-
>From alt.freemasonry. I just knew they were of the devil.
Teo1000
Subject: Demonic Attack by Daisies
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Kansan1225)
Date: 3/27/99 11:51 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Last night, after dinner time, our compound here in Mosquitoes, TX, was
visited by two different Troops of Daisies. These youngest members of the
grotesque Girl Scout syndicate were pretending to be offering their cookies
for
sale from door to door. A likely story.
In the past, when some of our resident members bought some of these evil
offerings, our scientific staff discovered surveillance microchips in them.
Dr. Ali Mikulski said that the chips were designed to stick in the esophagus,
so as to capture and transmit the most secret thoughts. They also contain
analytical equipment to determine the brand of chewing gum one uses. These
data are used by the G.S. for further attacks.
It has been our bitterly-gained experience that the Daisies are a front
for the twin evils of the New Age, gardening and landscaping. They are an
integral part of the vast ruinous rainbow of the CLuM Conspiracy.
After we delicately turned these agents of the Adversary away, the
compound was placed under full Daisy Alert, DefCon D. Director of Security
Abu
Yahya al-Tarabulusi called all of his peaceful militants to sentry duty. Abu
Yahya is the leader of a group of ex-Moslem Jesus freaks, "Al-Muslimeen for
Isa". He is a repentant ex-terrorist, who had previously trained with
Hizbollah in his native city of Tarabulus (Tripoli), Lebanon. He has
participated, among other things, in a successful undercover mission into
Israel to retrieve an advanced recipe for falafel from the Mossad.
I had met Abu Yahya later in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, while I was attending
Imam University. We both graduated with honorary doctoral degrees in Islamic
Jurisprudence and Rice Pilaf Preparation. The final exam for this course is
the recitation of the first seven suras of the Qur'an backwards, while
preparing rice pilaf for five hundred hungry Pakistanis, and simultaneously
fighting off the spiritual and physical attacks of seventy-seven satanic
Genies.
Meanwhile, back in the compound, the Most Rev. Monsignor Finkelstein
organized an emergency Novena for the spiritual edification of the flock,
while
Mother Superior Sharon Stein led the choir. Finally, our strained nerves were
soothed and remembered that this eventful day had started with a covert
approach by Mr. Aubrey Brown, Sr., an FBI operative in Chicago, Illinois, the
Land of (ritual murder victim Abraham) Lincoln. The Daisy Pushers sure move
fast.
This weekend's Easter egg hunt at the compound will take place under the
watchful, unwavering eyes of Abu Yahya and his peaceful militants. One can
never be too careful.
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