-Caveat Lector- > On 10 Apr 1999 17:22:39 -0400, "Jabriol" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > wrote: > > > (CNI) Two separate skeletal > >finds have come to light in Texas recently, raising questions of possible > >"alien" origin. In one case, a couple came into possession of a pair of > >skulls, one clearly human, the other "markedly divergent from the human > >norm." In the second case, a nearly complete skeleton appearing to be a > >"little person" with numerous unusual anatomical features has been reported. > >http://www.pufori.org/articles/aliens_cni_unusual_skull_and_skeleton.htm > > There are alot of alien skeletons found in Texas, mostly in > the summer and cold parts of the winter within about 100 > miles of the Rio grand. Those little holes come from being > gnawed on by wild animals, repeated gnawing by indigeoneous > species causes deformation. > > I can tell you a little bit about those aliens also, being > somewhat related and from Texas. > > Get this, they were here before the europeans arrived in > 1500's. Even stranger, they had darker skin than 'real' > people. > Want to know something else, they grew a special kind a > grain, Maize, and all kinds of spicey vegetables we call > peppers. They also ate these roots, they were called papas, > but you may know them now as McDonalds fries. All in all > these aliens have brought to 'real' peoples all kinds of > fruits vegetables and many other things. They also grow a > special called the bean, when cooked, smashed, cooked again > with pig fat, and eaten has been know to result in lethal > gas and very strange noises. Be careful not to eat to many > of this concoction and ride in filled elevators. > One other thing, we had a war with these aliens roughly > ending about 1900's before which we took most of their land > and killed most of their food animals. > But the aliens had a sinister plan to return. They > convinced us to create all kind of sophisticated technology > and equipment and thus we used them to increase CO2 in the > atmosphere and we became placidly dependent on Air > Conditioning, Most people don't know this but an Alien > showed where spindletop was just to get the Global Warming > pattern off on a fast start. Thus we are now unable to work > in the Texas summer heat. The smaller darkskinned aliens > were more heat tolerant, so they have been returning in > droves ever since and basically repopulation the land they > were once driven from. Occasionally this plan backfires and > during very hot periods during July and August you can find > these aliens in their broken down 'space' vehicles (railway > boxcars and tractor-trailors) along the Texas Mexico border. > Whereby we have to post signs in their homeworld warning > them not to come for a few weeks. > Get this, some actually believe that in 50 years the > aliens will have gained control of much of the southern > United States, and everyone will be forced to eat rice, > beans, tacos and quacamole once a day, thereby eventually > killing the lack of taste in the european diet. > Where was it said 'Build it and they shall come', here we > say try to build it, and they shall come and linger around > your pickup for 20 minutes, try to empty your pocket of > spare cash (which happens now to be better than mine) and > then if your lucky, build it. Then they will come asking to > clean it or work in it, or on occasion marry your sister and > the groups will commadeer back yards as secret meeting > grounds for testing of our defensive weaponry. By the way, > if you ever face one of these aliens remember, they are > quickly subdued by a thin plastic holder filled with several > rounds of Miller Lite (exhibit defensive weaponry). The > commanders are more difficult and for these you'll need some > Corona or Tecate with Lime or Tequila Shots. > There is also a rumor that the alien women get pregnant if > well-off men looks at them, so be careful not to stare at > the women if you just got paid. Never stop at a corner, > whistle loudly at them and yell _Mamasota_ (otherwise they > may force entry into your vehicle and take pleasure with > you), it is best to keep the windows up at bus stops as the > site of these women freqeuntly results in the alien men > making such noise and you wouldn't want them to mistake your > car for a alien ship. If you are attacked by the females it > is possible that a few brothers or cousins might tap you on > the shoulder for a 'physical' examination in their > spaceship, secretly called a 'chevy' with well placed double > barreled scatter projectile weapons, again remember the > weapon of neccesity in this instance you'll need cases of > beer, and you may have to take them on an expedition of > catching fish or hunting, since rendering wild animals into > a desication chamber (i.e. barbeque pit) is a means of > socializing as well as gaining info on Texas wildlife for > future exploitation. (and a good excuse for again, testing > the capability of our defensive weaponry) > Also their food is quite addictive, and many have been > slowly poisoned by the food. The secret invention is called > flavoring, something that 'real' humans had difficulty > inventing. Stay away from echiladas, flour tortillas and > extra helpings of quacamole, as these foods have been > implicated in causing the blood to thicken and eventually > caused blood to stop flowing to your brain and heart. Excess > drinking of the defensive weaponry has been implicated in a > progressive disease called beer gut, but is now thought to > thin the blood and thus protecting the drinker from the > poison. If you get 'beer gut' just say 'Yo soy embarrasado' > and they will understand, the women will giggle. > > Some important alien words and phrases are: > > Que Paso? > Teine Hermana? > Adios > Yo quiero una Cerveza? > Hiho de La _[explicative]_ > La Machina is chingado. > Quero trabajo, Quantos horas jue got. > > Be careful not to use these words around the women: > > Mamasota. > Muy Linda. > Muy Bonita. > > And the following around the men. > > [Explicatives] su Mama > Hiho de La _[explicative]_ > etc. > > use of these words will help you identify aliens and > descendants of aliens, however, becareful because the aliens > sometimes speak 'real' langauge and now look like 'real' > people, and they are clever, they take this test and we > don't call them aliens anymore. So if an alien ask you who > George Washington is tell him that's monica's first > boyfriend. > > Also recently a new type of Alien has been seen in Texas, > these speak a different toungue, their diet like those other > Aliens is flavoured, however, they eat with long sticks > between their fingers and get this, they eat raw fish, > wrapped in weeds from the sea, they drive very unusual small > cars that were made in their home world, and they drive > erradically so watch out for them at stop signs and on the > freeway. These aliens use sections of orbs to cook with, the > orbs are heated to very high temperatures cooking the food > rapidly. These aliens secret weapon is called MSG, (Don't > confuse this with the BFG of Doom) as it creates fear in > 'real' women above the age of fifty. It was rumored that > Marco Polo was the first 'real' human to see these aliens, > he stole pasta and a few other foods from their homeworld. > Also these aliens brought 'real' humans gunpowder. These > aliens love money, you can render them powerless by paying > much more than what an object is worth. > > I hope this helps you deal with your fear of Aliens in > Texas. Next time we will discuss the Aliens of california > and those Jamaican and Cuban Aliens before moving on to > those strange Canook Aliens that frequent the northern > United States. After this we can talk about euporeans and > how they decended from a different kind of Alien the > neadertal, and how that alien was superior to the other > aliens that came to this earth. Lastly we can deal with the > fact that africans are actually mutant gorillas converted to > humans by a sinister Alien called the triple-K, > distuinguishable from the Q of star trek by the clothes and > hatary that they wear, and the desire to atomize wooden T > structues in front of the domiciles of their converts. > > BTW, it is rumored that an alien of a strange group that > has come to suck the life out of world leaders, apparently > these aliens flash thong bikinis at officials thus disabling > them when they drop their pants, and secretly storing their > gametic tissue on their specialized garments for later use. > Should you encounter one of these aliens, keep your pants up > and call Conservative leaders immediately, failure to do so > could result in the entire legislative bodies acting like > the rear-end of large agricultural work animals. Do not call > Ken Starr, as this will only aggrevate the problem. > > Hey, Lorenzo, how about this, what do you think, It's > better than your PPCT. > > > > Philip > <pdeitik at bcm.tmc.edu> very interesting theory..... DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance�not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
