Forwarded with Compliments of Free Voice of America (FVOA):� Accurate News and Interesting Commentary for Amerika's Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe Free.�� Thanks to Graham Jukes for this, which seems like a Lenny Bruce satire but which evidently actually happened this way.������������� --� kl, pp
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From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2003 7:10 PM
Subject: Corruption claim governor says he was called by God
Corruption claim governor says he was called by God The [Republican] governor of the strait-laced New England state of Connecticut has rejected calls for his resignation over corruption allegations, saying he is in direct contact with God. In a performance worthy of a fallen "televangelist" John Rowland, who has admitted accepting favours and gifts from powerful businessmen, defended his position by saying the Almighty had called to him "loud and clear" in his "adversity". [The CLG, in an exclusive interview with God Almighty, can confirm that God says Rowland is an asshole and a thief who belongs behind bars, and that his wife is a terrible poet, a deluded child and a moron.]
No mincing words:� He's NUTS!
Corruption claim governor says he was called by God
By David Rennie
(Filed: 19/12/2003)
The governor of the strait-laced New England state of Connecticut has rejected calls for his resignation over corruption allegations, saying he is in direct contact with God.
In a performance worthy of a fallen "televangelist" John Rowland, who has admitted accepting favours and gifts from powerful businessmen, defended his position by saying the Almighty had called to him "loud and clear" in his "adversity".
Mr Rowland, a Republican who faces a federal inquiry into the awarding of lucrative state contracts, spoke flanked by local soldiers recently returned from Iraq.
He hailed the capture of Saddam Hussein, conceding that the operation did not involve any troops from his state, but adding: "It could have been any one of our Connecticut servicemen or women."
He declared that such heroism "puts everything in perspective real quick".
At the same public appearance, before a sympathetic audience of businessmen and lobbyists, the governor's wife delivered her own version of the poem The Night Before Christmas, in which she predicted that Father Christmas would deliver coal, rather than presents, to a local newspaper which unmasked her husband as lying about who paid for expensive repairs to their lakeside cottage.
In the poem, which drew gasps from the audience, Mrs Rowland compared staff at the Hartford Courant newspaper to "grinches who have stolen our tree". Her parody went on to describe a Christmas wish "for the man next to me: a new year that is peaceful and refreshingly free of rumours and hearsay that do nothing but smother the positive works we should do for each other".
Connecticut, a haughty sort of place, is not accustomed to finding itself in the same lists as Louisiana or New Jersey, where corruption is more or less taken for granted among state politicians. Mr Rowland, a three-term governor, has vowed to remain in office despite being caught lying this month when he insisted that he paid for work at his cottage, including the installation of a hot tub.
Several of his aides also face inquiries, including a deputy chief of staff who pleaded guilty to steering state contracts to firms in exchange for cash and gold, some of which he buried in his backyard.
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