(I was waiting for him to do this. Velly Honolable! --SW)
Firestone CEO apologizes for Yoko Ono; Commits Hari-Kari
BSNN Striving to be accurate 25% of the time. Served
fresh daily, Monday thru Friday.
WASHINGTON - Appearing before a hostile group of Congressmen, the
CEO of Bridgestone/Firestone Inc., Masatoshi Ono, denied responsibility
for the fatal accidents caused by his company's tires, but personally
apologized for the career of his cousin, legendary music butcher Yoko Ono.
``Where was your sense of concern, as a human being to yell: `Look out
World! Danger is coming! Yoko Ono will break up the Beatles!''' screamed
Sen. Barbara Mikulski, D-Md.
``I come before you to apologize to you, the American people and
especially to the families whose loved ones became fans of Yoko's
'music'," Ono responded sheepishly.
``I also come to accept full and personal responsibility on behalf of my
country and my family for the events that led to the breakup of the Beatles
and the music career of Yoko Ono."
Then, without warning, Ono did the only thing an honorable Japanese CEO
could do under the circumstances. He removed a knife from his breifcase
and committed Hari-Kari, the Japanese method of suicide popularized in
WWII.
Senator Mikulski expressed little regret at the events that transpired,
saying, "As a Beatles fan, and under the circumstances, I think Mr. Ono did
the honorable thing."
So do we Senator. If only some of America's politicians were so honorable.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve Wingate
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