The great success of my latest book, "Fight all CLuMs and
especially P. & U.K.E.", has led me to consider seriously the
numerous offers to convert this literary landmark into an all-star
Hollywood epic.
This action-filled contemporary drama is centered in the
Greater Mosquitoes metropolitan area, formerly known as
Houston, Texas, and records my personal campaign against the
forces of clandestine Luciferian Masonic (CLuM) evil.
Who could forget the chilly scenes of a Masonic initiation of the
marvellous, but diabolical, real estate agent Francesca Beaverton at
the expert hands of the unscrupulous CLuM Brother Dietrich
Krishnamurthy, the Hidden Hierophant of the venomous local
CLuM order, the Primordial and Unmitigated Knights of the East
(P. & U.K.E.)? How not to be amazed at the courage of my West
Coast associate, Miss Jildau Van Nuys, in exposing the soft
underbelly of Hollywood's CLuM underground?
This unremitting mixture of debauchery and lofty idealism has
been coveted by many artists who are now eager to participate in its
realization on the silver screen. The assembled production team is
considering many stars, but nothing has been finalized yet.
Following is a proposed list of possibilities, even though some of
the names have passed away and this would cause a great deal of
inconvenience in the shooting schedule, since not all the dead are
raised yet.
This partial list is mostly intended as a guide for interested
actors and their agents regarding the qualities necessary for each
part:
In the role of His Excellency, the Apostolic Nuncio Jimmy Bob
Ewing: Larry Hagman, the star of the TV series "Dallas".
As His All-Holiness, the Metropolitan Abdullah Ishihara:
Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune, the star of "The Seven Samurai".
As head of the peaceful militants "Al-Muslimeen li Isa"
(Moslems for Jesus), my colleague Abu Yahya al-Tarabulusi:
Egyptian actor Omar Sharif, the star of "Dr. Zhivago".
As Kansan1225: Mel Gibson, the star of the movie
"Conspiracy Theory". None other could do justice to the raw
charisma of the protagonist.
As Catholic Compound office manager Mrs. Bobbie Sara Lee:
TV personality and singer Kathie Lee (Levi) Gifford.
As Mother Superior Sharon Stein: actress Sharon Stone
Bronstein, the star of "Basic Instinct".
As the marvellous, but diabolical, real estate agent and CLuM
Sister Francesca Beaverton: actress Annette Bening, the star of
"American Beauty".
As First Lady Hillary Diane Rodham Rosenberg Rojas-
Rodriguez Rossi Roditis Clinton: Vice-President Albert Arnold
Gore. He said he needs to explore some new identities.
As Barbara "La Bruja" Bush: Black actress Esther Rolle. Only
she can portray Barbara's Southern charm.
As Texas Governor George Walker Bush: himself. He said he
will need the job when he is forced out of the Governor's Mansion
in Austin by term limits in 2003.
As Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) expert and corrupt
Law Enforcement Official (LEO) of the Mosquitoes Police
Department (MPD), Captain Zulfikar "Zodiac" Zolkoski: actor
Leonard Nimoy of TV's "Star Trek".
As Mrs. Milagros Margolis of Azusa, California: singer/actress
Bette Midler.
As my West Coast associate Miss Jildau Van Nuys:
supermodel/actress Heidi Klum.
As technical advisor: Billy Blythe Clinton, last President of
New Atlantis. He said he needs to keep in close touch with the
young working people of America and the world.
