-Caveat Lector-

Subject: [Fwd: If I Have to Pay Reparations for Slavery . .
.


Just *couldn't* resist! :)
Patty


If I Have to Pay Reparations for Slavery . . .
By Patricia Sharon Neill � 2001

Then I want to own some slaves first, at least one or two.
Hellfire and
damnation, make that a whole plantation full. Of course, I
don't own a
plantation, but we'll get to that problem later.

It makes no logical sense to ask me to pay reparations for
slavery unless I
have personally indulged in slavery and caused some actual
harm thereby. So
if "free money" is to be made from my alleged "white guilt,"
I think it only
fair that I have something to be guilty of. And I plan to be
plenty guilty
before I'd be willing to allow any government silly enough
to call me its
"subject" to take my money for reparations for slavery.

I don't particularly care one way or the other what color,
race, ethnicity,
sex, country or planetary origin said slaves come from. The
only slaves I'd
rather avoid are Irish ones on the outside chance that they
could out-drink
and out-talk me, an abhorrent thought.

So, let's get me some slaves.

The only place I know where slavery is still a legal
business concern is
Africa, but I'm not sure if they sell to foreigners as they
used to. Thus,
I'm not at all sure where to get my slaves. However, I have
full confidence
that the delightful black market will find a way of
providing me with plenty
of slaves, as anything banned is always richly available to
those who desire
the contraband, superbly supplied by the ever-talented
sub-rosa, piratical
crowd (cf. drugs, weird sex, endangered species, etc.).

My main problem with this entire idea is what the hell to do
with the slaves
once I have them. I don't own a farm, plantation, big house,
hotel or any
other venture requiring vast amounts of labor. I garden, and
help with the
plowing, planting, weeding, harvesting would always be good.
Slaves could do
some of the chores I currently do, but then, what would I do
with my time?
I'd probably have to spend most of my waking hours figuring
out chores,
tasks, jobs, etc. for the slaves to do, which would leave me
little time of
my own.

What a pain in the keister!

But this is the only way I will accept being taxed to pay
for some horrible
stuff that happened so  long ago that no one is alive who
was either
slave-owner or slave-long before my Irish ancestors happened
upon America,
which they did as indentured servants early on, and in
coffin ships equally
as bad as African slave ships after the Famine. Many, many
peoples have
suffered to come to America-every ethnicity and race on the
face of this
earth struggled to come here.

And prospered. Richly. Mightily. Even African-Americans are
far better off
in America than they would be if the slave-traders had left
them alone. If
African-Americans don't believe me, they should check out
Calcutta, India,
various regions of Africa, the parts of Washington DC where
the real people
live (as opposed to the politicals ...) and other such
dismal seepages.

If we are going to blather on about this ridiculous,
empty-headed "gimme
gimme" of reparations for slavery for African-Americans,
then goddammit, I
want reparations for American-Americans too. We all suffered
to get here and
to get established in this country-Jews, Italians, Germans,
Polish,
Russians, Japanese, Chinese, Turks, Egyptians-you name it,
we're ALL here.
And worse yet, American-Americans continue to suffer from
the Continually
Whining Party-those folks who have no idea of how well off
they are, and who
always want more-more of other people's money, time, and
effort, that is.

You want me to pay reparations for slavery? Fine. I'll do it
once I commit a
whole slew of slavery, and experience the horrors of it
firsthand. I assure
you, I'll try to make sure my slaves experience some horrors
too, which is
the one thing that gives me pause in this entire rant.

I'm afraid I'll have to work much harder than the slaves do,
providing work,
food, clothing, and shelter for them. If that turns out to
be the case, then
I'll sign over my ownership papers to one of my slaves, and
we can take this
really dumb idea as far as it will go.

Hah!

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