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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 08:14:00 -0400
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: Mark <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: SNET: Going South

->  SNETNEWS  Mailing List


"That America is dying. It vanishes beneath a coercive semi-Marxist
conformity
imposed from New York and Hollywood. Stalinism ... The country is being
remade,
becoming controlled, homogeneous, feminized..."


Going South


http://www.fredoneverything.net/Bailout.html

As the Great Mexican Squid, Tequila, and Lolligagging Bail-Out creeps
closer, I gotta decide what to do about this rattletrap column.

A while back, it dawned on me that maybe I'd been in the column racket
too long. Since 1973 I've been banging out these pellets of wisdom, one,
two, three a week, like rabbit droppings, for this or that newspaper. It
wears on you. The blush fades from the dewy petals of journalism. It
ain't fun any more. It hasn't been for a long time.

The news racket ought to be, and was, a trade of honest drunks. They'd
sit in the dim bar of, say, the Grand Hotel in Taipei, hootin' and
hollerin' and swapping tales. News ferrets were ribald, smart, ballsy,
funny, hard-nosed, and egotistical. Most were born raconteurs. They
could tell wonderful stories about obscure wars and unlikely people and
coming out of Angola low over the bush in a rattletrap DC-3 to avoid
SAMs. Better company there wasn't.

Now reporters are New Age, prissy, and censorious. The men wear lingerie
and the women don't know what it is. You just know that if you left them
in a fern bar, they would nest, talk about multiculturalism, and lay
eggs.

The pressure of a column gets old. You might think writers would get
used to deadlines, but you never really do. You're always behind. I once
wrote a military column for Universal Press Syndicate, which carries a
lot of the heavy names in the column scam. I asked my editor whether the
big guns wrote several columns ahead.

"No," he said. "They always file at deadline."

It wasn't just me. Columnists all thought, "Oh my god, it's Friday. The
insatiable maw awaits. Dozens of four-color web-offset Goss Urbanite
presses wait to inflict my twaddle on the unsuspecting. What desperate
fluff, what mental dust-bunnies, what lugubrious sludge can I package as
insight? The sky is falling? Been done. The world is going to end? Too
obvious. Maybe I can lie. Princess Di seen with Joseph Goebels?
Argentine scientists clone Hitler?"

I'm tired of it.

 Truth be told, I'm a tad tired of America. I wish I weren't. In the
past, I loved the great squirrel cage north of Mexico. For years I
hitchhiked the big roads and vast empty deserts and forgotten hollows in
Colorado or Kentucky. The country had a certain uncouth vigor, its music
a compelling energy, and everywhere a distinctive character: The
franchised shopping mall hadn't yet made everywhere exactly like
everywhere else. Our people were profligate in their variety, but
ethnicities hadn't become warring tribes. There was an imperfect
strength to the country, a sock-hop optimism, a na�ve moral radiance of
prom queens and jalopies rebuilt in garages. We knew who we were.

That America is dying. It vanishes beneath a coercive semi-Marxist
conformity imposed from New York and Hollywood. Stalinism Lite: All the
control but half the penalties. The country is being remade, becoming
controlled, homogeneous, feminized. I don't like it. It isn't the
country I signed up for.

Societies inevitably change. What is happening here isn't just change.
It's degeneration. In the Fifties we had the vitality of rock and the
love ballads of Presley. Music was often sappy but it wasn't evil. Now
we have the subhuman grunting of rap. Smiling calendar girls have given
way to glossy gynecology. Children in junior high get strung out on
crystal meth. Kids no longer have childhoods. At eleven they're jaded
experimental hamsters who know too much about the sordid.

Some call it sophistication but, if so, it's the sophistication that
comes of growing up in a whorehouse. We celebrate casual bastardy,
elevate the sleazy and inadequate to high moral principle. We bathe in
civilization's bilges. I think a lot of us notice it.

Arguably the place has actually gone nuts. Every week another little boy
gets tossed from school for drawing a soldier or playing cowboys and
Injuns. Judicial idiots enact more laws to make sure kids don't have
families. It appears wanton and deliberate.

I can't stop it, but I don't have to suffer it.

In March, I went to Mexico for a couple of weeks to scope out towns on
the west coast. I've always liked Mexicans, and still do. You can
breathe in Mexico without looking over your shoulder to see who's
listening. The country is far from perfect. There are people in Mexico
you don't screw with. There is corruption. But you don't have the soft
little fingers from afar that reach into minds to instil appropriate
values.

Not yet. Our media make inroads.

 I figured I'd go back for the summer, which I am about to do, to see
whether I wanted to stay. If so, I'd go back permanently -- get a small
place on the outskirts of a coastal city, with a courtyard and a big
gaudy-ass parrot that shrieked vulgarities in Spanish, and maybe a burro
to yell eeeeeeeeeeee!-honk! so I could be sure I was in Mexico. Take a
laptop, plug into the Internut, peddle a few magazine pieces for airfare
to Asian fleshpots. Loll on the beach, dive on the reefs. Get on an
actual horse and wander through hot empty countryside full of Gila
monsters.

A lot of guys think about expatriating. A few actually do it. Some make
it, and some don't. Some of them you see in the bars of Patpong in
Bangkok, drinking their retirements and waiting for their livers to
quit. Others go into the insulated gringo warrens of Lake Chapala, near
Guadalajara. Others, wiser, go native, run businesses, acquire
girlfriends, meld into the country and live happily. It's what you make
of it. You quickly learn to live without surly diversity and lunatic
teachers gone limp-kneed because some kid brought a squirt gun to
school.

So what to do with this peculious literary eruption?

I pondered dropping it. On reflection, I figure I'll keep writing it as
long as anyone reads it. Funny: There's no money in it, but readers have
come to be in a sense friends. I appreciate you folks. Maybe writing
isn't a curable disease.

I just got a lovely HP laptop. Two-channel satellite broadband is going
to come in Mexico. But there may be a certain Latin cast to future
outpourings, and bizarre tales of doings in remote ranchos. There's no
telling. These are strange times.

     �Fred Reed 2001. All rights reserved.



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