-Caveat Lector- Greenpeace Denounces Paper Currency Vows Only to Accept Coins as Donations
INT-News (December 28, 2001 -- Amsterdam) INT -- Upon hearing the revelation that the new European paper currency (EURO) is made with non-organic cotton, including American cotton genetically altered to reduce pesticide use, an outraged Gerd Leipold declared that the $150 million Greenpeace International would boycott paper money, cheques and other possible tainted currency products. "As we have repeatedly stated, we unequivocally oppose any release of genes into the environment," stated Greenpeace executive director Leipold in a hastily called press conference at Greenpeace world headquarters in Amsterdam. "The discovery of this so-called 'improved' cotton in currency and other paper products places anyone who handles cash at risk of violating our beliefs and ethical standards." Scientists and agricultural experts denounced Greenpeace's gesture, noting that it would require the destruction of millions of hectares of protected forests to farm the lower-yielding organic cottons. Others noted that the ecological damage of the massive increase in 'organic' insecticides that would also be required would mean millions of pounds of so-called natural pesticides polluting the soil and ground water. Greenpeace rejected the claims as more scientific propaganda used to cloud their quasi-religious, eco-politically-based positions. Greenpeace immediately announced plans to hire the testing firm Genetic ID to begin random testing of all paper currency for traces of the modified cotton. Based in Fairfield, Iowa with the yogic-flying Maharishi religious meditation cult, Genetic ID had not yet received a contract from Greenpeace and declined comment. Leipold added, "Until we can find a clean currency made with 100% organic cotton we will accept only coins as donations." Greenpeace faced a similar public relations dilemma several years ago when it's "green credit card" was exposed as being made from biotech plastic made by Monsanto. The Monsanto plastic, sold under the name Biopol, was made from a biotechnology-derived plant process. The biotech plastic comes from renewable resources, is non-polluting and biodegradable. According to a company spokeswoman Greenpeace was the biggest customer for the product. INT-News asked numismatic expert consultants to review Greenpeace's options for raising their annual US $150,000,000.00 budget using coins to determine the best alternative forms of non-paper currencies. Taking into consideration a combination of factors, including exchange rates, weights and the political orientation of the minting government, the experts concluded that the Haitian Gourd (comprised of 100 centimes) was the only coin which came close to meeting Greenpeace's strict eco-political doctrines. Devastating poverty ensures that few of the modern agricultural technologies and practices which Greenpeace opposes are available in Haiti. This poverty and the accompanying malnutrition make Haiti among the most desolate, ecologically devastated and desperate nations on earth. In fact, Greenpeace International's annual budget is more than four times larger than Haiti's annual budget deficit. A Haitian 10 centime coin weighs about the same as a U.S. penny -- about 2.5 grams. At the current conversion rate Greenpeace's annual budget could be met with 1.5 billion Haitian Gourds. This would comprise 15 billion 10 centime coins with a combined weight of 38 million kilograms (38,000 tons). "We determined that were Greenpeace to adopt a Haitian-only currency policy they would lift Haiti and it's people out of poverty within 3 years," noted economist Saul Hamberstoeller. "However, shipping costs for the millions of kilos of coins would dictate that Greenpeace move the bulk of their massive global operations and thousands of employees to the impoverished island nation." A minister with the Haitian government expressed cautious optimism at the prospect of having the equivalent of US $150 million bolstering the local economy. "It would mean a great deal to the people of Haiti to see the benefits of such a huge organization's economic engine fueled only by Haitian centimes," noted the minister. "However, our people and country have never benefited from any of Greenpeace's past activities so we'll reserve comment until we see something concrete." Greenpeace noted that it is still reviewing currency options but considered the Haitian coins as a leading option. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send your FREE holiday greetings online! http://greetings.yahoo.com <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/";>www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! 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