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Balkan Express
by Nebojsa Malic
Antiwar.com
December 27, 2001
Balkans Christmas � All Year 'Round
Gifts from the Imperial Santa
In America, Christmas is the time for, among other things, exchanging
presents. In the former Yugoslavia � where many celebrate Christmas
on January 7, and others not at all � gifts are usually exchanged on
New Year's Day. But thanks to the great gift of "humanitarian
democracy," delivered by tens of thousands of Santas in NATO fatigues
and their countless little helpers in politicians' suits, in this
part of the Balkans gift-giving can now last for the entire year.
And since the spirit of giving is also the spirit of sharing, why not
take a look at some of the more notable gifts bestowed upon some of
the most blessed people of the Balkans by their enlightened
benefactors and benevol
ent hegemons?
BOSNIA
It was very nice of the Empire to remember one of its pet wards of the past decade.
Sure, it was very nice of the United States to actively step into the war that made
headlines for three years, then conjure an illusion o
f peace and send thousands of its troops to make it a reality. But that was years ago,
under the previous Emperor. What has the United States done for the "Bosnians" lately?
Well, for one, its pet court finally came through and declared � sentencing Serb
general Radislav Krstic � that genocide against Bosnian Muslims really took place. It
is worth noting that the Hague Inquisition (a.k.a. ICT
Y) never actually proved the existence of a genocide; but because of what it is, and
because of who pays for it, assertions are considered enough. It may not seem like
much, but Alija Izetbegovic � wartime Muslim leader �
is likely to disagree. The legitimacy of his regime and its wartime conduct rests
solely on the thesis that they were protecting the Muslims from a Serb genocide.
CROATIA
Speaking of genocide, the story of one that happened some 60 years ago figures
prominently into Croatia's gift this year. With tourist profits falling in the
aftermath of Black September, and the current government tangle
d in a web of war crimes scandals that somehow never came to a conclusion, packages
from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum represented a bright ray of sunshine.
With all its woes, Croatia could hardly afford to cope with the fact that its Founding
Fathers (so to speak) were extremely good at the mass killing of Serbs and Jews during
World War II, when they were enthusiastic allie
s of Nazi Germany. Because the US Government-funded Holocaust Museum seized the
physical evidence from the biggest concentration camp, Jasenovac, from its Serb
victims and delivered it to the Croatian government for safek
eeping, Croatia will now have the freedom to cope with its history at a more
convenient time, in a more convenient manner � if ever.
KOSOVO
Despite the fact that Kosovo Albanians were not granted their dearest wish this season
� otherwise, they would have led this alphabetical list as "Albania" � they still got
a few things from Santa's bag. One of them is a
nice shiny new Assembly, with elections and a President and Constitution and all, so
they can play State under the ever-watchful eye of the NATO governor, and with his
ever-benevolent guidance. They are supposed to share
this wondrous gift with the Serbs, of course, and some remaining Kosovo Serbs are
quite thrilled at the prospect. Others would be much more appreciative if they could
venture out of their ghettos without the fear of being
killed.
Of course, one should not get too ambitious. Just last week, two Albanians suspected
of blowing up a bus full of Serbs in February were released from jail. The court cited
"lack of evidence" and dismissed the case. With t
he third suspect mysteriously vanishing from the supposedly impregnable US fortress-
base Bondsteel this summer, and no attempts to track down the perpetrators and "smoke
them out of their holes," it seems as if blowing u
p Serbs in Kosovo is neither terrorism, nor a crime punishable by law. How is that for
coal in the stocking?
MACEDONIA
Now Macedonia's gift this year was simply precious. There is no other way of
describing the Treaty of Ohrid, if one is to avoid being labeled a "hard-line militant
nationalist warmonger." For a while it looked as if Maced
onia would have to fight a full-scale war against the Albanian "liberation army" on
vacation from pillaging in Kosovo.
Then, through the merciful intervention of Europe's noted peace activist Javier Solana
and America's honest broker James Pardew, Macedonia was prevented from making the
dreadful mistake of self- defense, which would have
cost its taxpayers millions of dollars for weapons from non-NATO countries. Instead,
the Macedonian government happily accepted preferential treatment for the Albanians,
establishing ethnic quotas and enforcing bilinguali
sm on the 75% of the population for the sake of the remaining 25%. Ever since then,
things in Macedonia have been just wonderful � with the exception of some evil
nationalist hard-line warmongers, who simply hate peace.
MONTENEGRO
Montenegro has not been forgotten in this flurry of gift-giving, either. It may seem
to have had a bad year. Milo Djukanovic failed to obtain approval for secession in the
polls this spring. Now the republic's inhabitants
are experiencing power shortages, California-style, in the midst of a cruel winter.
Maybe Djukanovic will tell the people only independence would bring them back light
and warmth? Surely, as with everything else in the B
alkans, the power shortage must be Serbia's fault�.
On a brighter and warmer note, the money from the US treasury continued to flow into
Djukanovic's pockets even as US diplomats ambiguously disagreed with his plans for
secession.
SERBIA
For someone who has been on the "naughty" list for so many years, Serbia was simply
showered with presents this time around � receiving so many that its neighbors have
grown jealous. One could start with the millions of d
ollars the Empire gave to the Serbian opposition to win the 2000 election, but that
would technically be ineligible for this year.
Perhaps the greatest gift of the year, then, would be the liberation of Serbia from
the presence of Slobodan Milosevic, the Constitution, its legal system and much of its
dignity � and all at once! Though the aid money th
at was promised for Milosevic's head never actually arrived � prompting plaintive
words from Prime Minister Djindjic � there was still the $5 million bounty. Since he
ordered both Milosevic's arrest and deportation, Djind
jic obviously qualifies for the money. Interestingly enough, there is no record of
what actually happened to the bounty.�
There are other generous gifts, too numerous to mention: ICTY indictments, partially
forgiven fabricated loans, generous restorations of Yugoslav property Serbia had owned
to begin with, and so on.
HUMAN RIGHTS
Finally, just before Christmas, the European Court of Human Rights sent a gift to all
lovers of human rights and liberties. Last week it ruled that NATO could not be judged
for killing 16 Serbian TV workers in April 1999.
Apparently, NATO did nothing wrong by bombing Serbia, since any action outside the
defendants' territory (i.e. Serbia) is not in the Court's jurisdiction and is not
bound by the European Human Rights Convention. Serbia,
then, is in NATO's territory when it needs to be bombed, and is outside the territory
when the butcher's bill comes due. For this enlightening clarification of humanitarian
law, and its celebration of universal human righ
ts, we should all give thanks.
Yes, it has been a wonderful year in the Balkans, filled with marvelous gifts coming
straight from the heart. The Empire looks forward to blessing the benighted Peninsula
with even more treasures in the years to come. Yet
in its altruistic benevolence, it asks for nothing in return save absolute obedience
and utter submission. Surely, this is a small price to pay for such bountiful rewards.
Happy holidays!
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