[CTRL] Read This WHITEHOUSE.ORG Article IMMEDIATELY!

[Euphorian]

-Caveat Lector-

Dear Friend - It is *imperative* that you read the following article from the
WHITEHOUSE.ORG web site: http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/100702.asp.  Don't
delay.  Your patriotism is at stake!

PRESIDENT BUSH OFFERS WARM ENDORSEMENT TO INNOVATIVE PROGRAM FOR
REFINING AND IMPROVING THE FIRST AMENDMENT
Statement by the President


THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Please be seated. As Americans, we cherish many of the
laws on which our infinitely superior nation depends to keep it from descending into
anarchy and liberalism. Our founding fathers demonstrated incredible smartitude when
inventing these basic rules, which they wrote out longhand on parchment in the girlish,
loopy script which defined their fruity era when men wore wigs, pantyhose and more silk
than a geisha. These suggestions are often called our Constitution. Later, they would 
add
some extra stuff as an afterthought, called "amendments." Sadly, with the exception of 
the
Second one, which states explicitly that each of us is entitled to possess high-powered
laser-guided personal sniper cannons capable of taking out worthless pedestrians all 
across
Maryland and Virginia, most of these Amendments were as poorly written as some of the
newer Batman comics.

Of all of the Amendments to the Constitution though, none is so flawed and 
schizophrenic
as the First. It starts out promisingly enough, stating "Congress shall make no law
respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." 
This part
means that Jesus Christ is our government-sanctioned Lord and Savior, and that we must
lavishly fund faith-based Christian charities and parochial schools with tax dollars 
harvested
from Godless Arabiacs, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and other atheists. Trouble is, the 
First
Amendment doesn't quit while it's ahead, but goes on to ban laws "abridging the freedom
of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble." 
Clearly, the
founding fathers were men who not only knew nothing of the realities of war, but had 
also
never spent a few annoying hours surrounded by liberal chatterboxes and anal
Congressmen who are always carping about "facts."

And that's why today, at the breathless urging of Attorney General Ashcroft, I am 
pleased to
announce my unconditional and enthusiastic endorsement of the Green Ribbon
"Responsibility in Free Speech" Campaign. This fine program, originally conceived and
championed by the Godly publishers of such patriotic masterpieces as "I Can See Myself 
in
His Eyeballs" and the Purple Leather-Look� NIV Adventure Bible, represents an important
first step in getting Americans to realize that whoever said "talk is cheap" had never 
been
given a lethal injection after being hauled before a secret treason-tribunal for 
uttering
unwanted criticism of foreign policy.

The Green Ribbon Campaign rightly tells us that the second half of the First Amendment 
is
all well and good � so long as people are "responsible" and mind their � and their
neighbors' � tongues. There is an old saying in Texas � I'm sure that it is even a 
saying
here in the predominantly Negro DC area � that "If you don't got something nice to 
say...
well... uh... if you don't got something nice to say... uh... well... you can't get 
fooled
again!" For just as Americans understand full well that it is "responsible" to 
incarcerate
anyone who would shout "fire" in a burning movie theatre, so too must we protect the
citizenry from the utter chaos which would result from any public questioning of my
administration's divine wisdom during this time of war.
I want to thank the good people of this country in advance for promptly embracing this
program with a glassy-eyed zealousness befitting its infinite brilliance. Now, 
granted, this
here green is not such a fabulous shade. I would have preferred that real bright 
Christmas
green � or, better yet, that cool color on American greenbacks. But the damned 
liberals,
who never seem to run out of diseases to cry about, have taken all the best ribbon 
colors
already. Anyway, I appreciate how every last one of you will be wearing green ribbons,
tying green ribbons on your trees, weaving green ribbons through your hair, stuffing 
green
ribbons in the mouths of loose-lipped liberals, and displaying green ribbons on your
interweb home pages. Together, we can and will win the war against cowardly freedom-
hating evil-doers through determined and surgical alterations to the Bill of Rights.

Thank you all - and God Bless America.


>From http://www.zondervan.com/desk/greenjoin.asp


Join the the Green Ribbon Responsibility in Free Speech Campaign.

If you agree with this campaign and would like to identify yourself with it, we 
encourage
you to place this Green Ribbon graphic on your home page.

While the Green Ribbon Campaign wants to thank all those who support this effort, a 
Green
Ribbon icon on a web page does not indicate agreement with the contents of that page or
an endorsement on the part of the Green Ribbon Campaign or Zondervan.

Please copy the GIF with by clicking your right mouse button and selecting "copy" on 
the
pop-up menu (Mac users, Ctrl+click). You could also access the GIF from your browser
cache or use the following links.


To use this transparent background image, use this link:
img src="http://www.zondervan.com/images/ribtrans.gif";




To use this image, use this link:
img src="http://www.zondervan.com/images/ribbonme.gif";




To use this image, use this link:
img src="http://www.zondervan.com/images/ribonly.gif";


To use this image, use this link:
img src="http://www.zondervan.com/images/ribbonsm.gif";


To use this image, use this link:
img src="http://www.zondervan.com/images/ribonlys.gif";

Once you have secured the Green Ribbon icon, please point it back here by linking the
graphic to:
http://www.zondervan.com/desk/green.asp

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