Thanks for your concern and hard work Karl but I’m not in a cult!
------- Original Message ------- On Friday, October 14th, 2022 at 1:15 PM, Undiscussed Groomed for Male Slavery, One Victim of Many <gmkarl+brainwashingandfuckingupthehackersla...@gmail.com> wrote: > Chapter 11, Continued > > For the first year after I left the Moonies, every time I heard > the word moon, I would think, Father, and remember sitting at > Moon’s feet. Another example occurred about a month after I left the > group. As I was driving to a friend’s house, I had the thought, This > would be an excellent fundraising area! I had to tell myself that I > was no longer in the Moonies. This thought was triggered because for > the last five months of my membership, I spent fifteen to twenty hours > a day driving around looking for places to drop off members to solicit > money. > > For people who were long involved in a group that required > excessive meditation, chanting, “decreeing,”[185] speaking in tongues, > or other mind-numbing practices, episodes of floating can occur for at > least a year after they have left the cult. Many of my clients have > told me that suddenly, in the middle of a normal conversation, they > would find themselves doing the mind-numbing technique they had > practiced for years. This can be especially dangerous when you’re > driving a car. One former member of a Bible cult told me, “It’s very > frustrating to realize over and over again that my mind is out of > control. Particularly when I’m in a stressful situation, I’ll suddenly > discover I’m babbling nonsense words and syllables (speaking in > tongues) inside my head, and I’ve become disoriented from whatever I > was doing.” > > If not properly understood and responded to, floating can cause a > former cult member who is depressed, lonely and confused to go back to > the group. > > For people fortunate enough to receive good cult counseling, > floating is rarely a problem. However, for people who don’t understand > mind control, it can be a terrifying experience. Suddenly, you flip > back into the cult mindset, and are hit with a tremendous rush of fear > and guilt for betraying the group and its leader. You can become > irrational and begin to think magically, interpreting personal and > world events from the cult’s perspective. For example, you didn’t get > that job “because God wants you to go back to the group,” or the > Korean Air Lines Flight 007 was shot down by the Russians “because you > left the Moonies.” > > When you start to float, simply but firmly remind yourself that > the experience has been triggered by some stimulus, and that it will > pass. If you can, try to connect as soon as possible with someone who > understands mind control, and talk it over rationally with them. > > The most powerful and effective technique of all is to identify > the trigger. It could be hearing a song, seeing someone who looks like > a member of the group, or watching someone act or gesture in a way > that cult members often do. Once you know what triggers you, > deliberately call forth that stimulus, but make a new, positive > mental association with it. Think of something non-cult related. Do > this over and over again, until the association becomes a new, learned > response. > > In my case, when I heard the word moon, I would form a mental > picture of a beautiful full moon. I would say to myself, The earth > only has one natural satellite, the moon. For about a week, I often > said to myself “moon,” and conjured up this image, until it stuck. I > referred to the leader of my former cult as Mr. Moon, not wishing to > call him “Reverend,” since that was a self-appointed title anyway, and > visualized him behind bars in prison garb. Similarly, for > ex-Scientologists, it is better to speak of “Ron Hubbard” rather than > “L. Ron Hubbard” or “LRH”, and not to call the cult “the Church”. Such > loaded language is a significant trigger. > > One ex-member of est told me that even though she loves the beach, > she avoided it because the sounds of ocean waves always reminded her > of her indoctrination. Even though she had been out of the group for > five years, that association was still inhibiting her ability to enjoy > something she had always loved. I encouraged her to change the > association. She could hear the sound of waves and deliberately > program in a new and personally gratifying association. I told her to > repeat the new association until it automatically overrode the cult > programming. Within a few days she was able to visit the beach again. > Ultimately, exposure techniques are the fastest methods to override > the programming and make new, healthy associations. > > Also keep in mind that floating is a natural byproduct of > subjection to mind control. It is not your fault and not a defect on > your part. Over time, its effects will naturally decrease, especially > if you practice the techniques described above. > > > Overcoming Loaded Language > > Substituting real language for the cult’s “loaded language” can > speed up a person’s full recovery. By eradicating the cult jargon put > inside my head, I was able to begin looking at the world again without > wearing cult “glasses.” The cult’s loaded language had created > little cubbyholes in my mind, and when I was a member, all reality was > filtered through them. The faster an ex-member reclaims words and > their real meaning, the faster recovery happens. > > When I was in the Moonies, all relationships between people were > described as either a “Cain-Abel” or a “Chapter 2” problem. The term > “Cain-Abel,” as explained earlier, was used to categorize everyone as > either a superior or a subordinate. “Chapter 2 problems” were anything > that had to do with sexuality, and any attraction members felt towards > others. Therefore, all personal relationships fell into either of > these two categories. > > The most common mistake made by ex-members is to tell themselves > that they should not think of the cult word. The mind doesn’t know how > not to think of something. Language is structured so that we have to > think in positive associations. So, if you are an ex-member, make a > new association, just as I described for the problem of “floating.” If > you are an ex-Moonie and have trouble getting along with a person, > think of it as a personality conflict or a communication problem. For > anyone who has been a Scientologist, it is absolutely essential to > stop using the enormous cult vocabulary to stop thinking in the loaded > terms invented by Hubbard and recorded in two dictionaries totaling a > thousand pages. These folks are still thinking in the cult cubbyholes > of the human experience. This becomes an issue with ex-Scientologists > because unless they have made the intense effort necessary to > eradicate the cult jargon installed in their minds, they inevitably > use this jargon with each other and triggering happens all the time. > Check the real meaning of words in a proper dictionary. Choose your > friends and reclaim your native language! It will speed up your > healing! > > > Loss Of Psychological Power > > Another common problem for former cult members is the loss of > concentration and memory. Before I became involved in the Moonies, I > used to read a book at one sitting, averaging three books a week. But > during the two and a half years I spent in the group, virtually all I > read was Moonie propaganda. > > When I first left the cult, I felt frustrated whenever I tried to > read non-cult literature. At first, getting through a single paragraph > was nearly impossible. I would continually space out, or have to stop > to look up words that I once knew but now couldn’t remember. I had to > read and re-read material before I was able to force the creaky gears > of my mind into operation. I also needed to buy a 400,000-word > dictionary to relearn the meanings of words I had once known. I needed > to look at old photographs, read old college papers, and be reminded > of people I knew and things I had done prior to being in the group. > > Fortunately, the mind is like a muscle. Although it tends to > atrophy from disuse, with effort it can be built up again. It took me > nearly a full year to get back to my pre-cult level of functioning. It > took a lot of will and many hours of effort. But I did it. When I > first was deprogrammed, I knew I wanted to go back to college but knew > I needed time to strengthen my mind before I could function again. It > took me a full year to regain my ability to concentrate and read > normally. > > > Nightmares, Guilt, Grief, And Remorse > > Nightmares are a good indicator that a former cult member needs to > receive additional counseling in order to work through their cult > experience. These unpleasant dreams come from the unconscious mind, > which is still wrestling with the issues of cult involvement. > Nightmares indicate unresolved conflicts within the mind. > > Common nightmares for people who have lived with mind control > include being trapped, feeling that people are coming after them, and > being in the midst of a storm or a war. Ex-cult members also > frequently report having upsetting dreams in which people inside in > the group try to get them to leave, while friends and family outside > the cult pressure them to rejoin. > > Another key issue for some former members is guilt about things > they did in the group. Some people were involved in illegal acts, > such as fraud, theft, breaking and entering, harassment of critics, > arson, sex trafficking, and the use and sale of drugs. I have met > people who went AWOL from the armed services because a destructive > cult group recruited them, and had great trouble when they tried to > clear themselves later. > > Fortunately, the vast majority of ex-cult members have not been > involved in such things. However, even if they were not coerced to > break the law, most have to cope with how they treated their family > and friends during their cult membership. For example, some people had > parents who became ill, but cult leaders prohibited them from visiting > the hospital. In some cases, a parent died, and the cult member was > not allowed to go to the funeral, even though it might have taken > place only 20 miles away. > > It can be extremely painful for a person to leave a destructive > cult and have to deal with the havoc and emotional damage that their > membership caused. This is especially true for people born into a > cult. When they leave, typical cult policy is to excommunicate or shun > them. This means they are rejected by their own families and friends, > whom they might never see or speak with again. Alternatively, they > might experience extreme pressure from their loved ones to “come back > to God.” > > When I first left the Moonies, I felt an incredible sense of guilt > about my role as a leader. I blamed myself for lying and manipulating > hundreds of people. I felt I had allowed myself to be used as an > American front man, a stooge for the Koreans and Japanese, who really > held the reins of power in the group. For me, speaking out and helping > others to leave was a form of making amends for what I had been > manipulated to do. > > Another issue involves feelings toward friends still in the group. > When I left the Unification Church, at first I desperately wanted to > rescue those people I had personally recruited. Unfortunately, the > Moonie leadership cleverly shipped the people who were closest to me > away from New York. They were told that I was away on a secret > mission. The people I had recruited, my “spiritual children,” didn’t > find out that I had left the group for more than three months. I > believe they were told then only because I had started appearing on > television to speak against the group. > > About six months after I left, I went back to Queens College, > where I had started a chapter of C.A.R.P., and gave a public lecture > on cults and mind control for the psychology department. In the > audience were my top three disciples, Brian, Willie, and Luis.[186] > They sat and listened to me lecture for over an hour about mind > control. I gave specific examples of how I had lied and tricked each > one of them into membership. After the lecture was over, I walked over > to them, and anxiously asked them what they thought. Willie smiled and > said to me, “Steve, you shouldn’t forget the heart of the Divine > Principle or the heart of Father.” I was crushed. They didn’t appear > to have heard a single thing I had said. > > At that moment I remembered how, when I was a member, I had been > instructed by Mr. Kamiyama to raise my spiritual children to be > faithful, even if I left the group. I didn’t realize at the time why > he had me do that, because I never imagined leaving. Now I understood. > To my great relief, many years later all three of them eventually > walked out. I am so relieved and hope that one day they will forgive > me and speak with me again. > > Many people involved in faith-healing cults have to deal with the > death of a child or other loved one who was prevented from receiving > medical treatment. The remorse they feel when they leave such a group > should not be turned on themselves in the form of blame or guilt. > They need to realize that they were victims, too, and did what they > believed to be right at the time. > > Other ex-cult members have to deal with the anger and resentment > of their children, who in some cases were beaten, neglected or > sexually abused. Many were deprived of an education and a normal > childhood. Some were deprived of their own parents; certain cults, > such as the Hare Krishnas, systematically separated children from > their parents and allowed them to visit only infrequently.[187] Yogi > Bhajan’s 3HO group sent some of its members’ children to the > organization’s school in India. By separating children from their > parents, the allegiance of both generations became solely to the > group.[188] For years, Scientology “Sea Organization” parents were > only allowed to see their children for an hour a day, if their > production statistics were up. Children ran wild with almost no adult > supervision. Leader David Miscavige has since prohibited Sea Org > members from having children, and many women have been coerced into > having abortions. > > For others involved in less destructive cults, the emotional toll > on children can ultimately yield positive results. I saw that in the > life of my client Barbara. She explained how, for most of her life, > she had thought she was crazy. Then she realized, from talking with a > friend, that the group her parents had been involved with for the > previous decade was actually a destructive cult. Barbara had spent a > good deal of her childhood growing up on the group’s commune. She and > her brother Carl had been taught since early childhood that all > negative emotions were harmful. Sadness, anger, jealousy, > embarrassment, guilt and fear were all to be avoided and not “indulged > in.” Of course, all of these emotions are entirely normal, but Barbara > and Carl had been taught otherwise. They were very relieved to know > that their lifelong problems were not signs of mental illness, and > that help was available for them. > > Growing up, Barbara and Carl had tried to do what they were told, > and dutifully attended cult indoctrination programs, but had never > felt right about it. Nevertheless, they loved their parents and tried > to do what would please them. Now that they were in college, as soon > as they discovered that the group was a cult, they arranged for me and > a former group member to counsel them, and then planned a rescue > effort for their parents. > > Their parents were bright, successful people in their fifties. He > was a practicing attorney; she was an elementary school teacher. He > had been recruited into the cult by an old friend from college. As a > lawyer, he was quite skeptical at first, but was eventually drawn > further and further into the group. He and his wife became mid-level > leaders, and eventually ran the group’s meetings in their city. > > The rescue effort was a complete success, and the entire family is > now closer than ever before. Both parents have helped others in the > group to reevaluate their commitment. Several have left it. > > > Harassment And Threats > > Another issue for some former cult members involves harassment, > threats, break-ins, lawsuits, blackmail and even murder, particularly > if an ex-member goes public. Since cults believe that anyone who > leaves is an enemy, there is always some risk that harm will be done > to a defector. > > I have been threatened many, many times by cult members—usually by > mail or phone, but also in person, particularly when I am picketing, > demonstrating or otherwise exposing a particular group’s activities. I > have only once been physically assaulted, however, when a Moonie > punched me in the face and incited me to punch him back. I looked him > in the eye and asked him, “Is this what the Kingdom of Heaven is going > to be like—silencing the opposition?” I took him to court and he > pleaded no contest. The judge ordered him to pay for a new pair of > glasses for me, and gave him a stern warning to stay away from me. > Years later, he left the group and contacted me. He apologized for the > incident, and told me he was only doing what he had been instructed to > do: “Take care of him.” > > Even though violence toward former cult members is relatively > rare, the fear factor has kept many people from going public and > telling their stories. What they don’t realize is that once their > story is told, it would be stupid for a group to retaliate, because > that would only incriminate them more. When I started Ex-Moon Inc. in > 1979, it was partly because I realized there would be much more > strength and safety in numbers. That strategy was successful. > > Some of the larger, more aggressive groups, such as Scientology, > believe in attacking critics rather than defending against > accusations.[189] Scientology has initiated hundreds of lawsuits > against former members and critics, including Paulette Cooper, author > of The Scandal of Scientology,[190] and Gabe Cazares, former mayor > of Clearwater, Florida. Typically, these suits are filed purely to > harass and financially drain cults’ opponents. To a certain extent, > this strategy has been successful: most former members of Scientology, > for example, are afraid to take any public action against the > organization.[191] However, when the FBI raided Scientology > headquarters, documents were obtained that proved the illegality of > many of the organization’s activities, and Hubbard’s wife and ten > other Scientologists were sent to jail. Guilty verdicts have also been > handed down in Canada and France. > > > Problems With Intimate Relationships > > Inside cults, members often have little chance to form a normal, > satisfying intimate relationship with a partner. They may be forced > into celibacy, paired with someone they would never have chosen on > their own, or coerced into a life of sexual servitude. When they leave > the group and begin to live in the real world, sooner or later they > have to deal with the fact that, for years, their need for a > satisfying relationship was never met. > > Yet the experience of having been taken advantage of, often for > years, makes it hard for people to take the emotional risk of forming > close relationships with others. Some people have denied their own > sexuality for so long that they may have difficulty expressing it. In > other cases, ex-members got into sexual relationships with trainers or > leaders who manipulated them, with little regard for their feelings. > > That said, I have met a number of people who married in a cult, > raised children, left the cult and managed to navigate their lives > together. They are by far the exception. Most relationships break up > after exiting the group. Sometimes one person stays in the group, > which makes it very difficult when there are young children. > > Trust in yourself and learning to trust someone else, much less a > group, is a really big deal for ex-cult members. Feeling your real > feelings and learning how to express them in healthy ways is so > important. Learning to respect yourself and your partner as a separate > and individual human being is essential. How to problem solve and > share power is another essential issue. Some Christian cults put women > under the control of men, and it can be difficult to unlearn such > subservience. > > In all of these cases, it’s best to seek therapy with a mental > health professional who understands undue influence. > > > Ways To Heal Yourself > > The most effective emotional support and information will usually > come from former cult members who are further along in the healing > process. But the actual healing is the responsibility of the former > cult member. > > Finding and becoming part of a healthy group can be a big step > forward. It took me a full year, after I left the Moonies, before I > gingerly involved myself with a group of any kind—in this case, a peer > counseling organization at college, in 1977. > > In 1986, I served for a year as the national coordinator of a > loosely knit group of ex-cult members who wanted to help themselves > and others. It wasn’t easy to coordinate a group of people who have > all been burned by group involvement! But my experience taught me that > such a thing is possible. > > Support groups for former cult members can be especially > beneficial. One woman who attended such a group in Boston contacted > me, after she heard me on a local radio show. Deborah had been > involved with a political cult for ten years. One day she told me she > broke one of the group’s rules. She had lunch alone with a non-member, > and rather than face being “grilled” by the cult leader in front of > the entire membership, she called up her parents and asked them for a > plane ticket. She later decided that she was afraid to go home and > wound up living on the streets of Boulder for several months, until > she was able to slowly work her way back into society. When I met her, > she was a successful businesswoman. > > Even though she had been out of the cult for eight years, she had > never talked about her experiences in it until she began meeting with > other ex-members. “I feel like the whole thing is one big black box, > and I’m afraid to open it up,’’ she explained. But soon, with the help > of the group, she did open it. She mustered the courage to share an > issue she was dealing with. “I know that I am being hampered in my > ability to trust my boyfriend and make a commitment to him. I think it > is connected to what I went through,” she shared. > > We were all amazed at how successfully Deborah was able to > compartmentalize her mind control experience, for such a long time. > When she did start talking about it, huge chunks of time were still > unaccounted for. The more she talked, the more we asked her questions > and prodded her memory. Month by month, she got more and more in touch > with what had happened to her. She had been subjected to an unusually > intense degree of emotional and personal abuse while in the group. > > “I’m really glad I was able to meet and talk with other former > members,” she explained. “It’s nice to see other bright, talented > people who went through something like what I went through. I just > could never talk about the group to anyone without them thinking that > I was crazy or sick.” > > Being part of a support group can show people how mind control > operates in a variety of different organizations. It also enables > those who are still grappling with issues of undue influence that it > is possible to recover and become a happy, productive person. For most > people who leave a destructive cult, the first step should be getting > a handle on their group experience. Then, if there are other issues or > problems that existed before their membership, they can begin to > resolve them also. > > Support groups can also be a mixed bag, if they aren’t run by > experienced professionals. With the best of intentions, people in > support groups can wind up further traumatized if there aren’t clear > rules and boundaries of respect. > > Be a good consumer! When looking for a support group, be careful. > Some “support groups” are, in fact, fronts for cults themselves, which > use them to lure back people who have recently left the group, as well > as to recruit vulnerable people who recently left other mind control > cults. When researching support groups online, look for a legitimate > e-mail discussion group and/or Facebook page. I also suggest not > revealing your real name or any personal information, until you are > confident that the group is legitimate. If there is no support group > in your area, see if there is an online support group that meets your > needs. > > It becomes apparent to former cult members in the first year after > leaving that any pre-cult problems they may have had were never > resolved while they were members of a destructive cult. This can be > very disappointing to the ex-member, because the illusion of becoming > healthier was one of the factors that reinforced continuing > membership, sometimes for many years. > > This realization is often more difficult for long-term members. > Imagine going into a group at age 18 and coming out at 30. You’ve been > deprived of a huge amount of life experience. Your twenties, typically > reserved for self-exploration, experimentation, education, skill > development, career and relationship building, have been lost. > Chronologically, you are 30, but psychologically, you probably feel > 18. Friends from high school have good jobs; many are married; some > have children; some have houses. At 30, you may be inexperienced at > dating, and have been out of touch with world affairs for more than a > decade. At a party, you have little to talk about except your cult > experience, which only exacerbates the feeling of being in a goldfish > bowl. You have to catch up on everything. You may feel an acute > sense of having to make up for lost time. > > Some long-term former members liken the experience to that of POWs > coming home after a war. In fact, post-traumatic stress disorder > (PTSD) seems to apply perfectly to some cult member veterans. When > they come home, they have to catch up on everything. In the 1970s one > person I worked with had never heard of the Watergate scandal, didn’t > know who singer/songwriter James Taylor was, and wasn’t aware that we > had landed and walked on the surface of the moon. > > Paradoxically, however, you need to slow down and take time. You > need time to heal, grow and develop. You’ll need to discover or create > your own path, and be concerned about your own unique needs, rather > than compare yourself with other people. > > One sensitive father of an ex-cult member said, “If someone gets > hit by a truck, naturally you expect that it will take them time to > recover. You wouldn’t expect them to get up out of bed, and go and get > a job the next week, would you?” His daughter lived with him for her > first year and a half away from the cult. He didn’t pressure her to > move out or seek employment during that time. He recognized that she > was doing the very best she could. > > Every person who has been in a cult is different and has different > needs. Some people are able to adjust quickly to the outside world. > Others, who have been more severely traumatized, need more time. > > Perhaps most importantly, former cult members need to learn how > to trust themselves again. They have to become their own best friend, > as well as their own best therapist. They have to realize that they > didn’t choose to be lied to or abused. They are not at fault. > Eventually, as they learn to once again trust themselves and their own > inherent wisdom and instincts, they also learn that it’s okay to begin > trusting others. They realize that all groups are not evil. In fact, > the good part of being involved with a healthy group—be it a > religious, social or political—is that you can exercise control over > your participation. You do not have to stay one minute longer than you > want. Nor do you have to sit silently and blame yourself, if you don’t > understand what is being said or done. You can question, and you can > question some more. Not only is this all right, it is your > Constitutional right. > > > Other Challenges And Issues > > Another important aspect of growth for any ex-cult member is > learning to get in touch with emotions and channel them effectively. > > When someone first leaves a mind control group, many of the > emotions may remain suppressed. But as they adjust to the outside > world, they may begin to feel shame and embarrassment, then anger and > indignation. They move from What is wrong with me? to How dare they > do that to me! This is normal and healthy. > > At some point, they may begin a voracious research project to find > out everything they can about their cult and answer every one of their > questions. This, too, is a very positive therapeutic step. Often, the > number one priority of someone who has just left a cult is to help > rescue the friends who were left behind. For cult members, their major > regret in leaving is usually losing contact with people they came to > know and care for in the group. It becomes particularly difficult when > a former member realizes that the friendships they thought were so > good were conditional on continued membership. A former member can > quickly see the strength of mind control bonds when their closest > friend in the group refuses to meet them, unless he brings another > member along. > > Eventually, when all their questions are answered, and all their > cult issues are addressed, they reach a saturation point. They declare > to themselves, “They’re not going to take the rest of my life!” and > start making plans for the future. > > Sometimes there are additional issues that need more extensive > individual counseling. Sarah, a former ten-year member of the Church > Universal and Triumphant, had been forcibly deprogrammed more than > five years earlier, yet was still experiencing cult-related problems. > I agreed to work with her for ten sessions. Her first homework > assignment was to begin writing down her entire cult experience. This > is something I recommend for every ex-member. It was certainly > something Sarah needed to do in order to reclaim her true self. > > I also suggested that, since she had been involved for such a long > time, she should begin by making an outline. I told her to take ten > folders and number them from 1973 to 1983; put 12 sheets of paper in > each folder; and label the sheets January through December. With that > as a starting point, I told her to begin writing down everything she > could remember that was significant, whether positive or negative. I > told her not to worry if there were huge gaps. Eventually they would > all be filled in. > > In order to help her remember, I told her to think of specific > places she had lived or visited. I also told her to think about > significant people. Lastly, I told her to recall specific activities > or events that were meaningful to her. > > Step by step, she was able to fill in her entire experience. She > recorded how she came to be recruited. She listed her likes and > dislikes about the group and its leaders. She was able to chart her > ups and downs as a member. She was also able to see that, at many > different points, she was very unhappy and disillusioned, but had no > way out. At one point she had actually come home to her parents, > complaining about her unhappiness, and they had taken her to a > psychologist, who unfortunately did not recognize her problems as > being cult related. After two months at home, Sarah had gone back to > the group. > > By writing down her entire experience, Sarah was able to process > her experience and gain a greater perspective on it. She no longer had > to carry around a lot of swirling, seemingly contradictory thoughts > and feelings. It was now all on paper. > > As part of her therapy, I explained to her that the person whose > story filled those ten folders no longer existed. I suggested that she > think about that person as a younger Sarah, someone who was doing the > very best she could. Back at the time of her recruitment, she didn’t > know about cults or mind control. If she had, she surely would never > have gotten involved. > > Then I had her imagine herself as a time traveler. I instructed > her to go back in time and teach the younger Sarah about mind control, > so she could avoid the group’s recruiters. I asked her to imagine how > differently her life would have turned out if she had never become > involved with the group. This enabled her to see that with more > information, she would have had more choices and could have averted > the danger. This became very important for her later in her therapy. > > I asked her to re-experience, one at a time, traumatic cult > experiences. This time, however, she could correct her responses. She > told off one of the leaders in front of the members and angrily walked > out of the cult. Even though she knew that we were just doing an > exercise, it provided her the opportunity to channel her emotions > constructively and reclaim her personal power and dignity. > > By standing up for herself and telling the cult leader to “Shove > it!” she could walk out of the group on her own and avoid the trauma > of the forcible deprogramming. Sarah knows that in reality, her > parents did need to rescue her. However, through this process she was > able to regain personal control over the experience. This was > extremely important in order to enable Sarah to move forward with her > life. > > Like everyone else in her position, she needed to take all the > things she had learned, and all the people she had met and come to > care for, and integrate them into a new sense of identity. Integrating > the old into the new allows former members to be unusually strong. We > are survivors. We have suffered hardship and abuse, and, through > information and self-reflection, we are able to overcome adversity. > > Like all former members I have counseled, Sarah suffered from lack > of trust in herself and others, and fear of commitment to a job or a > relationship. By helping her to reprocess her cult experience, I was > able to show her that she now has resources that the younger Sarah > didn’t have, and that she is no longer the same person who was tricked > and indoctrinated into a cult. > > She is older, smarter and wiser now. She knows on a very deep > personal level that she can identify and avoid any situation in which > she is being manipulated or used. She can rely more completely on > herself, and if she needs assistance, she will be able to find what > she needs. Likewise, she needs to not fear making commitments. She > knows now to ask questions and keep on asking questions, and to > distrust any job or relationship that requires anything that violates > her core self, including her ethics and values. > > Like anyone who has been molested or abused, former members need > to learn to rebuild their trust in themselves and others step by step. > In their own good time, they can learn to take little risks and test > the waters. They don’t have to jump in any faster than is comfortable > for them. > > > Recovery Facilities For Former Cult Members > > There are regrettably only a small number of facilities to help > ex-cult members heal, recover, rest, and grow. One such recovery > center is Wellspring Retreat, founded by Paul and Barbara Martin, in > Athens, Ohio. Paul, now deceased, was a licensed psychologist and > former eight-year member of the Great Commission International, a > Bible cult .192 Both provide healing and support, through a staff of > trained counselors and former cult members. > > For some former cult members, the opportunity to go to a safe > place for a few weeks or months, where they can get intensive support > and counseling, is invaluable. The problem is that these facilities > are very expensive to operate and most people coming out of cults have > no financial resources. Something must be done to offer the services > that people need to recover! > > > Endnotes for Chapter 11 are in previous content email.