[i should have done the queen’s side castle because it traps their queen, when i instead moved the queen and my finger slipped with dissociation. i wasn’t aware of this, and they didn’t defend against it sufficiently when my slip gave them the opportunity to. rather, i then responded to their attempt to push my knight by pressing the queen to protect the knight. —
the finger slip stimulated a situation that revealed why not to move my queen where i was planning to.] On Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 16:52 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many <[email protected]> wrote: > 14/24 > > On Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 16:43 Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & > Survivor of Many <[email protected]> wrote: > >> this is a chess game where i won against someone of much higher rating >> than me: >> >> [Site "https://chess.org/play/cf645a4f-4446-4a83-b2fd-919727966f32";] >> [Event "Chess"] >> [Variant "Standard"] >> [Round "1"] >> [Date "2023.12.11"] >> [TimeControl "2m +2s"] >> [White "RaZacek"] >> [Black "baffo32_lo"] >> [WhiteElo "1686"] >> [BlackElo "1370"] >> [Result "0-1"] >> >> 1. d4 e5 2. dxe5 d6 3. exd6 Bxd6 4. Nf3 Nc6 5. Nc3 Bf5 6. e4 Qe7 7. Bd3 >> Nb4 8. O-O Bg4 9. Be2 Qe6 10. a3 O-O-O 11. Qe1 Nxc2 0-1 >> >> chess is now a scarred mental battlefield for me. i’ve spent time playing >> chess puzzles and my otherness has spent time stimulating failures in me >> despite this. a lot of time on both of these! my rating has dropped on >> average in p2p and risen in the puzzles some i’d suspect. >> >> i totally smashed this game! partly luck, partly skill. i thought i might >> consider reviewing it a little. >> >> 13/24 1413 >> >> # apk add gnuchess >> >> 1418 the apk add command ended up being a little more complicated, >> involving ish crashing repeatedly, anyway >> >> 1444 >> >> how do i do fixed width font in gmail ipad app, or how else do i access >> email? >> >> 1446 >> >> maybe i’ll go on website >> >> 1504 >> >> yayy fixed width >> >> back to responsive app? >> >> 1505 >> >> 1506 >> >> yayy fixed width in app. less responsive though. >> >> 1509 >> >> echo -e 'e4\nquit' | gnuchess -q --manual --graphic | tac | sed 's/ /. /g' >> [note the board is mirrored from tac, a usual board would have the king >> and queen swapped] >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♙ . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜ >> >> i was black. white opened with their queen’s pawn. i usually use a >> well-known midgrade opening i forget the name of that i learned at a summer >> camp. >> noting: since they opened with their queen’s pawn, i get to free my >> bishop and queen, as well as optionally pin a piece on their king >> >> >> pawn forward 2 >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♙ . . . . >> . . . . ♟ . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜ >> >> >> pawn takes pawn >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜ >> >> >> pawn forward 1 >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . ♙ . . . >> . . . ♟ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜ >> >> >> pawn takes pawn >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♙ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ ♝ ♞ ♜ >> >> >> bishop takes pawn >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ ♘ ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> this theoretically exchanges position in my benefit for pieces in theirs; >> i spend my years trying to figure out how the heck to take advantage of it. >> one of the last exchanges i had regarding this at that summer camp was >> something like “why does this opening never work against you (the person >> who taught it to me)” “because you never make use of it, karl” >> >> >> white next brought their king’s knight out. (i wonder what they were >> planning or thinking. it could have been a habit to threaten or guard a >> missing pawn in the middle.) >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . ♘ . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ ♞ ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> > > maybe they were erring in the side of threatening spaces my advanced > bishop could otherwise make use of. > > >> i brought out the opposing knight on my queen’s side. this threatens the >> same central spaces their knight does, and also moves toward the more >> difficult queen’s-side castle. i’m not sure what specifically my reasoning >> was, but i’ve been exploring different things. >> >> ♖ ♘ ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . . . . ♘ . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> something i’ve been thinking of here is - well >> >> >> they brought out their opposite knight, so maybe this is just how they >> like to open, or maybe it is some standard approach >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . ♝ ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> >> i then brought out my bishop. likely i was thinking of controlling the >> board safely and moving toward opening that queen’s side castle >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♙ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> i think i move the second bishop out farther to maybe try to be more >> aggressive, remember that e-change at summer camp. >> > *exchange > >> when it’s on the other queen’s/king’s side it threatens a pawn that can >> be used for a checkmate, building what i’ve been calling initiative, giving >> the opponent fewer options and yourself more >> >> >> they moved their pawn forward 2 to threaten my overadvanced bishop >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . . . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . ♛ ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> >> and here’s where it started getting fancy, i moved my queen in front of >> my king (very dangerous!) to pin their pawn onto their king, so they >> couldn’t take the bishop, in an attempt to keep my positional and move >> investments. >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ ♗ . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . . . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> i think once there are pins and things going on like this it starts >> taxing the players’ memories in competition, to remember all the concerns >> and dependencies. >> - they can’t use their pawn how they usually expect, so they have to put >> more cognition into things that involve it (it also pressure them to >> prioritize moving their king or engaging my queen to threaten my bishop >> again) >> - i lose my bishop if i move my queen; all the places it threatens aren’t >> actually threatened unless the value of moving there is more than a bishop, >> which i’m likely to not think of >> (i guess, maybe) >> > >> i likely tried this from the puzzles experience. i’m pretty vulnerable >> here in my opinion, but i think the unexpectedness and memory loading can >> also help me win sometimes. >> >> the behavior is sadly a habit i have, where i try running a bigger risk >> to see if it pans out later, kind of a little. intended only for play, not >> serious situations. >> >> >> they moved out their other bishop to defend the pawn. i forgot i could >> take it. that’s likely why i risked the queen, cause it let me threaten >> putting them in check, maybe >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ . . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . . >> . . . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . ♞ ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> oh no … they were already threatening the pawn with their knight. maybe >> they were disincentivizing me from pinning their knight on their king with >> my bishop? >> > > no, if i took the pawn with the bishop, and they took it with the knight, > i think the queen could then take the knight, check, leaving me a pawn up > with initiative. the bishop response deters this. > > >> i advanced my knight likely to threaten their bishop and the pawn by >> their queen, dunno, but both of which were also in line with my scared >> bishop, tensely relying on their king not moving which would unpin the pawn >> that could take it >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ ♔ . . ♖ >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> noting my king is nicely freed by now to castle on the queen’s side too, >> and there aren’t any pawns between where my rook would land and their queen >> still is. maybe got more lucky in this game than skillful, unsure. >> >> [mistake][separately my memories of this game are worsened further from >> the mirroring] >> >> >> they castled on their king’s side, away from my advanced knight, >> threatening my bishop >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . . . >> . . . . . ♝ . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> >> i moved my bishop to a temporarily safer advancement, pinning their >> knight on their queen. >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . . ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ ♗ . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> i might be thinking here that i need to collect pressure near their king >> to eventually checkmate them as well as build initiative, not sure. anyway >> it pins their knight which reduces their board control for one move at >> least i guess. often i have a habit of aggression in the hopes they get >> confused like me, maybe. people repeat what works. >> >> i recall i was pressuring their king. >> >> >> they retreated their bishop to unpin their knight >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ . . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . ♛ ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> i’m guessing this meant i still had the initiative i was seeking because >> they responded to my move without gaining much position. >> >> >> here i think my finger actually slipped, possibly dissociatively, and i >> moved the queen forward one when i wasn’t planning to. >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> ♙ ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> . . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ ♛ . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> this guards the bishop. i think i would usually have moved it forward two >> to threaten (and advertise this to the opponent) the checkmate pawn >> diagonal from the king. >> >> this surprise left me unbalanced and i was looking for how to regain more >> advantage. >> >> it’s so nice to review something with a dissociated confusion (i.e. >> amnesia, [maybe it’s hard to store memories when you’re regaining footing]) >> in it! and we won! together! o_o :) >> >> >> they advanced their pawn 1 to threaten and push my knight to move. >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> . ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> ♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ ♛ . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> ♜ . . . ♚ . ♞ ♜ >> >> i might have felt a little excited here, as if it wasn’t enough of an >> initiative press back for me to lose mine. i had three diagonal pieces >> threatening near their king (if i get my queen defended on one of those >> pawns it’s checkmate, it could do that in 2 moves despite my slip) and the >> knight they were threatening was distant from them. >> >> >> i used my queen’s side castle to threaten revealing with my bishop, my >> rook against their queen. this meant my bishop could effectively make two >> moves in a row if they couldn’t regain initiative rescuing their queen. >> [possible mistake] >> >> ♖ . ♗ ♕ . ♖ ♔ . >> . ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> ♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ ♛ . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> . . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜ >> >> notably i am now threatening taking their queen by moving the bishop to >> put them in check. this is another trick i learned from the puzzles. >> >> i am now very strongly in the advantage, but it involved layering >> approaches behind strong risks that can easily go poorly if one’s memory >> falters (which mine —- ); because i am threatening both their queen and >> their king and they are only threatening more minor pieces. >> >> maybe i’d like to play through this game more. i don’t usually pull this >> off and i think it’s because i run poor risks or lose track of them. maybe >> i could compare it to a losing game and see what’s different or something … >> [unsure :s some write mistake—-] >> >> >> i wonder if my finger slip put them in unwarranted ease or something >> >> >> so what happened is they moved their queen toward their king to protect >> it from my check-reveal. this let me fork it with their rook with my risked >> knight, and they then resigned the game in defeat, which let me realize how >> much advantage i had before i lost it in further mistakes maybe ;S >> >> ♖ . ♗ . ♕ ♖ ♔ . >> . ♙ ♙ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> ♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . ♞ . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ ♛ . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> . . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜ >> >> ♖ . ♗ . ♕ ♖ ♔ . >> . ♙ ♞ . ♗ ♙ ♙ ♙ >> ♙ . ♘ . . ♘ . . >> . . . . ♙ . ♝ . >> . . . . . . . . >> . . . ♝ ♛ . . . >> ♟ ♟ ♟ . . ♟ ♟ ♟ >> . . ♚ ♜ . . ♞ ♜ >> >> victory. my ranking was 1370 and theirs was 1686. >> >> i’m thinking one thing maybe i did here was open multiple aggressive >> avenues at once (not all of which i was aware of) and then stay flexible >> about which i pursued as they responded. having them open meant that i had >> multiple options for pressuring them, since i don’t know what they will do. >> >> i guess when my finger slipped with my queen it left them unsure of what >> avenues i was pursuing. if i had moved my queen all the way as i meant, >> what usually happens is they immediately fortify their king to prevent >> checkmate which would have made the reveal that trapped their queen via >> their king no longer work that way. instead they worked to address the >> other side of the board. >> >> they may have seen something my slip could do that i didn’t, that they >> were acting on. >> >> it’s noticeable that my rook and knight were working together to limit >> their queen. i don’t think imwas consciously aware of this at the time. >> >> doing puzzles with the dissociativ— >> >> anyway :) >> >> i’m inhibited against reviewing my own behavior so this was awesome to >> post :D it’s been many years since i’ve had a positive way to feed back >> around things and improve them. >> >>
