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General: Pray for the Dead and...
Shmuel G. asks:
When going to Daven at the Kever of a deceased Jew, can one request for the
deceased to pray on one's behalf?
If not, why do we often hear eulogies asking the deceased to be a Melitz
Yosher on our behalf?
Is any of this different for Kivrei Tzadikim?
Thank you,
Shmuel G., Yerushalayim
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The Kollel replies*:
Dear Reb Shmuel,
It would seem from the example of Kalev Ben Yefuneh that someone is allowed
to request from the deceased that he pray on his behalf. Kalev says (Sotah
34b): Avosai, Bakshu Rachamim Alai. If so, then we avoid your follow up
question.
Nevertheless, the Maharil (Hilchos Ta'anis) says about one who visits a
Beis haKevaros: "Al Yasim Megamaso Neged haMeisim...Ach Yevakesh Me'es
Hashem sh'Yiten Lo Rachamim b'Zechus haTzadikim" (on should not turn his
attention to the dead...but rather should ask for mercy from Hashem in the
merit of the Tzadikim). This seems to be at odds with the simple reading
of the story.
The Minchas Elazar (Part I, ch. 68), however, on the weight of other
similar stories quoted in Talmud, comes to the conclusion that the Maharil
cannot be taken at face value and that what he really means is that one
should not think that the dead have any power to answer his prayers rather
that they are just an emissary, but one can certainly ask them to daven on
their behalf in the same way that we are allowed to ask a living Tzadik to
daven on our behalf.
Still, Rav Moshe Feinstein, in a Teshuvah (OC part V, ch. 43), concludes
that it is an unresolved Machlokes haPoskim: the Sha"ch (YD ch. 179, s.k.
15) holds that it is Asur and the Ba"ch (ibid.) holds that it is Mutar.
(The Machmirim must understand the story of Kalev as a special case -
either because of his spiritual stature or because there is a special
exception for the Avos. I am not sure).
According to those who say we are not allowed to ask the dead to daven for
us, we will have to say that the Minhag of asking the Niftar to be a
Meilitz Yosher is going according to the Meikilim or, alternatively, that
we aren't saying "Be a Melitz Yosher" but rather "May he be a Meilitz
Yosher". In other words, we are not addressing the Niftar but actually
praying to Hashem that He accept the Niftar's tefilos on our behalf.
b'Yedidus,
Yonasan Sigler
*This is not a Psak Halachah
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