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Kidushin 002: Darko Shel Ish la'Chazor
H. David Levine asks:
But in the verse, va'Yiviehah El ha'Adam va'Yomer Zos ha'Pa'am?
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The Kollel replies:
I am going to suggest an answer based on "Derech Derush," not intended to
be taking literally. Since it was Hashem Himself who took the rib away from
Adam, Hashem had to give the rib back personally in order to fulfil the
Mitzvah of the Torah (Vayikra 5:23) that one must return a stolen item to
its owner. However, all of Adam's descendants for all time did not actually
have the rib stolen from them personally, but they still are missing
something, which is why everyone needs a wife. So if somebody lost
something but it was not stolen from him, it is his job to go looking for
it!
Here is a different answer to this interesting question:
1) The main thing we have to understand is that for Adam, his rib was not
considered as lost. What I mean is that Adam knew exactly who his intended
wife was. After all, there was only one other woman in the world at the
time! Perhaps we may say that Adam had an easy time finding his match. For
everyone after Adam, it is much more difficult, because no one knows at the
outset the identity of his proper Zivug. That is why he must go around
looking for her.
2) Even if Hashem would not have brought Chavah to Adam, Adam would have
had no trouble finding her. As we know, Adam gave names to all of the
living creatures in the world. He knew the entire animal kingdom. He
certainly would recognize his own wife. Wherever in the world she would be,
it would not have been difficult to find her, because Chazal say that Adam
was such a great giant that the flesh of his heel was capable of blocking
off sunlight to the world (Vayikra Rabah 20:2).
3) Since it had been already decided beyond any doubt who the correct
Shiduch was for Adam, Hashem did a Chesed for him by bringing him his wife.
The Gemara in Berachos 61a tells us that we learn from here that it is a
Mitzvah to be a "best man" for the Chasan and help bring him his wife at
the wedding.
4) I once saw a nice idea in the book, "A Tzaddik in Our Time" (the
biography of Rabbi Aryeh Levine, the Tzadik of Jerusalem). He explains why,
in the Sheva Berachos said at a wedding, we make so much mention of Adam
and Chavah in Gan Eden. The blessings are emphasizing that every couple
should try to compare themselves to the first couple in the world.
Unfortunately, it often happens that after a couple have been married for a
while, they start thinking, "What would things have been like if I would
have married somebody else that I met before I married my spouse?" This
clearly is a very unwise attitude to adopt. We must emulate Adam and
Chavah, who had no choice about whom to marry. Every couple nowadays should
also learn to be like that. The husband and wife should think that his or
her spouse is the only one in the world, and that his or her "bashert" is
the only one that exists!
5) This is what we learn from Adam. Just as Adam had no doubt about where
his lost rib was, everyone should be like that once he has found his match.
Kol Tuv,
Dovid Bloom
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