Today was an interesting day. I knew that it would be because we had to ride on the bus with throw-up someone left while they exited the bus. I don't have a strong tummy drum for that kind of thing. We had to drive to where we were going with that smell. I was preparing for todays meting and trying to do some research while colleen and Todd were out there visiting. colleen had brought her cocateal with her. they were doing something and he seemed really testy. I heard Todd say, "no bites." I didn't think anything about it. I heard colleen talking to her bird softly. I heard him making noises. I just thought that they were working together. Suddenly, colleen tells Todd that her bird isn't breathing. Instantly, I was feeling the blood drain out of my face and body. I didn't know what had happened. I still don't really know what happened. I didn't see it. I wasn't out there... I don't know. I thought, "No, not colleen's bird dying in our house." He was dead without explanation. Colleen was in tears. I felt responsible for his death some how so Todd and I scrabbled around to find her another bird because Colleen was in more and more tears land. She saind, "I can't face that empty cage alone." We found one that had been hand trained and hand fed. I again begged her to get some professional training with the bird. I just made it very emphatic for her to please not rely on me for guidance and answers. I don't know that much and am learning myself. It's very different training a dog than a bird.
We found her this bird and we really couldn't afford to get it but we did anyway because I couldn't stand to see Colleen so heart broken and I couldn't bare it that she lost it at our house. So, please pray for our finances? that's an anxiety too. Todd burried the bird alone in the cold backyard. he thought that he heard Boo churp and unburried him just to rediscover that he was dead. How awful for him. We had this meeting for the netertainment committee that got started an hour late. Oh, I don't even know how I managed to get through that. By God's grace--I did. Now everyone has left and I have begun to worry about my own babies. I can't go through another death right now. I can't I can't! I won't! I'm so upset I don't know what to do with myself. I'm always careful with my babies. I try to be anyway. whoever said that ignorance was bliss must have been drunk, crazy, or plain stupid. Ignorance can kill... that's not bliss. I don't every want to hear that quote as long as I live. when I heard that boo had passed it scared me so badly. Then I cried more for Colleen. I can't believe it! this is so unreal! when I handle my doves, I do everything the website says to the letter. I've tried asking professionals but a lot of them don't know about doves. I want there to be no way I could be ignorant. Please pray that these babies will stay healthy. I believe in God and I am also freaking out. then I think that there might be something bad happening at ILR and that's got me in a twist as well. She said that we didn't do anything wrong. When Todd said that he thought it would be something positive I felt a little better and told my supervisor so. Then she replied back in an email for me not to get too excited or I'll be disappointed. the sound of that statement made me anxious, but she said Ha at the end of her sentence. so I don't know if she's joking. don't know what I'll find or hear on Friday. I feel like a light weight when it comes to handling problems. these all seem like small potatoes but tonight, right here in this moment, they are huge. Please pray that no one else has to die? I feel like I can't hear God clearly right now. I don't like that either as it's so confusing. If I never go through this again it will be too soon! Oh, I could use a lot of prayer right now. thanks everyone. ysic, Sean --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Deaf-Blind Inspirational Life Group" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/DBILG?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
