On Jun 1, 2011, at 15:32, Moray Allan wrote: > Thanks, that mostly looks fine (could be made less dull by additional > quotations), but: > > On Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 12:49 PM, Jeremiah Foster > <[email protected]> wrote: >> The Debian project would like to announce a meeting held between the >> Government of Serbia and DebConf11 representatives on the occasion of the >> upcoming Debian conference, DebConf11, to be held in Banja Luka, Serbia. > > For me it's "the occasion of the upcoming Debian conference" doesn't > make sense -- maybe e.g. "in preparation for the upcoming Debian > conference"?
Yeah, makes sense. The whole "occasion" thing was too flowery and weird. :-) > >> Dr. Jasmin Komić expressed support for the conference in his official >> capacity for the Republic of Srpska (Serbia Republic) and said “we expect >> that this conference, which was held in New York last year, will enable >> significant promotion of Republic of Srpska and the City of Banja Luka on >> the international IT scene.” > > (Here it would read more standardly if you put a comma after "said" > and then a capital letter on "we".) Agreed. I'll send a revision. Regards, Jeremiah _______________________________________________ Debconf-team mailing list [email protected] http://lists.debconf.org/mailman/listinfo/debconf-team
