On September 9, 2021 9:46:34 PM UTC, Pete Batard <[email protected]> wrote:
Pete: thank you for pointing out that you've actively contributed, do keep
emphasising that, it will help undo some of the damage.
i do get that you feel you're not making "demands": i have had people regularly
misconstrue what i say for over 20 years. thus, i am actually quite "entuned"
now to the subtleties
>If you read my posts carefully, you find that the only slight request
>that I have made is that Debian (i.e. people on this list whom I expect
>
>to know better) should
the two key phrases which tell us the mis-step that you keep making are "whom i
expect to know better" and "should".
it *really isn't* ok to make what can only be described as "implication-loaded
statements" about individual contributors that are in effect Sovereign entities.
"should" implies that you are directly criticising them for *not* doing
something... for which, like any Sovereign State, you have absolutely no right
whatsoever to expect them to do, and have zero control, leverage or contractual
or financial or feudal right over them.
"expect to know better" is again along the same lines: much as i hate to have
to spell this out to you, it's terribly insulting. it comes with the loaded
implication that "everything they did - unpaid, remember - before you came
along, is shit. because *you* said so".
now, that may actually be true, but if it is, and you hsve evidence to bsck it
up, then as a newcomer you have to be *really* careful about how you go about
presenting that.
what may surprise you is that it *actually doesn't matter* whether what you
suggest as an alternative to the "shit" is good or not: it's the very fact that
you *expected* them to do it [without offering any financial compensation or
other reward or incentive, which would result in a contractual or moral
obligation where both parties satisfactorily get what they want]
when you have accepted that, you'll do ok.
phrases that you *should* find ok to use is:
* "IN MY VIEW, dotdotdot"
* "in MY opinion"
* "the way *I* see it is..."
* "MY feeling is..."
* "*I* would like to see... {some envisaged but entirely conditional action}"
you notice how all of those involve the PERSONAL (singular) pronoun? the
sentences they prefix should in NO WAY make ANY IMPLICATION or impose ANY
OBLIGATION on ANYONE [other than you, yourself]
the phrases put a "safe ringfence" around what you say, where other people
cannot cross the line and criticise *you* for saying what you did, because it's
YOUR personal and Sovereign Opinion.
to make ANY criticism no matter how indirect, or to make ANY implication of
expectation of effort by ANYONE other than YOURself is and always will be
COMPLETELY inappropriate on any Software Libre Community Project.
once you have understood and accepted this, you'll do ok.
> [...]
>new methods of installing Debian, as well as other more worrying
>misconceptions, including the false assertion, which you are positing
>here again, that myself or other people are somehow demanding stuff
>from
>Debian.
unfortunately, you are: you just don't yet appreciate or understand how.
this lack of empathy and understanding of perspective is actually surprisingly
common amongst people working for significant periods of time with computers
[example: for me, that's since 1977], and particularly common for younger
people who have not grown up with software libre and mailing lists [example:
i'm 51, and been using internet-enabled computers since 1988].
it is your responsibility to work out why you're irritating people, and to
learn the ground rules of interacting with Sovereign Individuals (aka Software
Libre Contributors aka debian developers aka volunteers).
it's great that you're an active developer: the next step, if it appeals and
interests you, would be to ask questions of people, "is what i've done useful
to anyone, if so how can it be packaged or otherwise made available"
that tells people you're listening, and that's the best thing you can do right
now.
l.
