> particularly in the face of endless concerns about civility, and > blatant tone policing.
What's blatant is how these two concepts are frequently being abused to shut down any criticism of uncivil behavior or otherwise inadequate conduct, especially by using such a loaded term as "policing". It's possible to empathize with a person, and to publicly stand by this person, and to continue doing so, while still pointing out that one of the person's specific actions were not up to community standards. I realize that the intention behind these concepts is to create a safe and welcoming community, but I believe this ultimately achieves only the opposite for it, by weakening and eroding its standards. It's "Be respectful", not "Be respectful, unless [...]". We're emotional beings, not robots, so I realize that upholding the standards is not possible possible all the time. But when something happens, and there is cause for empathy, then I believe that on the whole, a community is better of with "acknowledge, and then forgive", rather than "nothing wrong happened, so don't criticize".
