To Make Friends with Enemies
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Venerable Master Hsing Yun |
嚙瑾
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In society, we have friends as well as enemies. Enemies are not only those we confront on the battlefield where both sides set out to destroy one another. There are enemies in business, adversaries in the same occupation, and also opponents among those sharing similar advantages. As the saying goes, "Professionals are jealous of each other, and scholars are contemptuous of one another." In dealing with enemies, the supreme strategy is not to destroy them. Rather, it is to subdue them without any actual fighting. Even in handling vicious and stubborn enemies, if we can win them over, and they are able to acknowledge their mistakes, then we need not destroy them. There are numerous incidents in Chinese history where those in power subdued their enemies with forgiveness, making friends with them in the end. Not only were the fighting parties spared animosity and sometimes bloodshed, the resulting peace and harmony actually enhanced the unity of the country. In addition to not destroying their enemies, those who were capable would even assist them in becoming partners in growth and development. In Britain, the Conservative Party feared the loss of the balancing function of the opposing Labor Party; yet if the Labor Party came to power, they would also miss the interaction created by the Tories. So, they each supported one another in different ways to ensure that there would be an opposing party for competition. Francis Bacon, the British philosopher, once said, "One is lonely without lovers, and one is also lonely without enemies." This is so true. People become enemies for a number of reasons: due to a feud between families, war between countries, conflicts of interest, differences in ideology, or just being angry over some sort of injustice. Even friends may sometimes turn into enemies because of a misunderstanding, or one may have hurt the feelings of the other; or if one is being taken advantage of, then good friends may become sworn enemies. Christians often say, "Love your enemies." Buddhism teaches, "Equality among enemies and loved ones." In reality, the greatest enemy in life is the self. It follows then that sickness is also our enemy and so is worry. Even though sickness is an enemy, we need to cure it or even be friends with it. Worry is our enemy, but we still have to face it and endeavor to "convert worry into bodhi." Having enemies reminds us to be cautious, to take preventative measures, and to be diligent, for without them we relax and let our guard down. There were many ancient cavaliers highly skillful in martial arts who lamented for the lack of an opponent. Even on the basketball court, the two contesting teams thank each other, for without the other team it would be impossible for the game to take place. In the boxing ring, the opponents greet each other with courtesy, and after the fight the winner and the loser shake hands. After any election, the winners call the defeated opponents to thank them. Therefore, to be a friend or an enemy is only due to differences in position; it does not mean destroying each other. In diplomacy, there is a saying, "Internationally, there are no permanent friends nor are there permanent enemies." Between people, sometimes friends become enemies, and sometimes enemies turn into friends. It all depends on how we treat others and what our views are. However, friends should remain as friends over time, but we should not let enemies remain enemies forever. Those who make friends with enemies are the truly capable ones in society. |
Some People believe dharma to be profound, Something has to incomprehensible.
This is not the case at all. The Dharma is something we all can understand and use.
and spiritual aspects of life
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