On Thu, Oct 8, 2020 at 2:23 AM Murray Kucherawy via Datatracker < [email protected]> wrote:
> Murray Kucherawy has entered the following ballot position for > draft-ietf-dprive-rfc7626-bis-06: No Objection > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all > email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory paragraph, however.) > > > Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html > for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-dprive-rfc7626-bis/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > I'll add my thanks for this document. I have tripped on some of the > issues in > my experience, but some of the others described here were eye-opening. I'm > also learning from the ensuing discussions. > > Section 1: > > A couple of nits: > > * "DNS relies on caching heavily ..." -- suggest "DNS relies heavily on > caching > ..." > > fixed * "Both are a big privacy concern since ..." -- suggest "Both are big > privacy > concerns since ...", unless you mean the two of them collectively (in which > case, please say so) > > Another edit suggested changing this to "Both are a significant privacy" Does that work? > I agree with Warren in that it's not clear what's leaking in the example > at the > bottom of the second paragraph of Section 4.2. > > In Section 5.1, please expand "CPE" on first use. > Good catch - updated > > I'm having trouble parsing the third paragraph of Section 5.2. The fourth > paragraph in the same section needs some commas. > Third Paragraph - instead of "There are some general examples, for example," Maybe "Some general examples include "? How about this for the fourth paragraph: Note that even when using encrypted transports, the use of clear text transport options to decrease latency can provide correlation of a users' connections, e.g. using TCP Fast Open [@RFC7413]. thanks tim
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