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Here is a little appetizer provided by the man
himself, Grubball Dan. Thanks a bunch, Dan.
Channel M's Game of the Month
Sponsored by Grubball Betting Weekly Sresar Vale United at Arankeep 4/7/472 3:25pm ((No, there's no TV in RPland, of course, but if there were, this is what the telecast might be like.)) [The Channel M logo appears on the screen, followed by the talking heads of broadcasters Dorn Lictor and Ned the Honorable with the logos of SVU and Arankeep at the bottom of the screen.] Dorn: Welcome grubball fans to Channel M's Game of the Month, and it's a beautiful day for grubball! Tonight we feature the undefeated 'Dire Sheep' of Sresar Vale United versus the home team, Arankeep. I'm Dorn Lictor and seated to my right is a man who needs no introduction, Ned the Honorable of the championship 467 Angelsin team. Ned: Thank you, Dorn. Yes, it is a great night for grubball here at Lysira Field in the lovely village of Arankeep, here next to the shore with the shadow of the actual Aran Keep nearly upon us. Dorn: Ned, let's talk about these two teams. First, Sresar Vale United has gone 4-0 and is already been picked as the dark horse winner of the Arlok Cup by some experts. Do you buy it? Ned: I'm not sold yet. For starters, SVU has played Gessihorna, Tagrana Memorial, Sivriana, and Galanor so far this year. These are teams that combine a 6-10 record, and, with *maybe* the exception of Galanor, there isn't a cup contender in the bunch. Also, SVU's defense has been hailed one of the best in the game, but SVU has allowed 10 points so far, and we can't expect the SVU offense to stay hot enough to mop after them. In short, they've gotta play better against the more talented teams when they come up in the schedule. Still, gathering a good lead in the standings could give them some breathing room and perhaps allow them to coast to the top. Dorn: Let's talk about Arankeep for a moment, Ned. They're 1 and 3 so far and they're tied for second to last place in the AGL in points scored. Where do you see this team going by the end of the 472 season? Ned: Well, there's 26 more games left and anything could happen. Arankeep has always been underrated, in my opinion, and I think if they come together as a team they can put some wins together. But they're gonna have to start winning, starting with this game right here. If they can't win against some of the better teams in the league, they're done for. Dorn: Well said, Ned the Honorable. Well, we're just about ready to get underway. The teams have ended their warm ups and head official Kurdock Nett has begun his final preparations. [The camera pans the crowd, which has already begun to cheer. There are box seats next to the team benches full of wealthier-looking people, and next to home and away circles there are large stands full of common folk waving lavender banners. Between the box seats and the stands is a roped-off area where there are people crammed into the standing room only section, many of whom are waving brown flags.] Dorn: You would expect to see primarily the lavender and gold colors of Arankeep out in the crowd today, but that doesn't seem the case. Hundreds of Sresar Vale peasants have put work aside today to follow their beloved Dire Sheep to neighboring Arankeep, toting their brown banners in support of their team. Ned: When I played I found that SVU fans were downright fanatical, especially when their team was winning. I guess that comes from having very little else in their lives. Dorn: The "Vale Ale" helps. Ned: Indeed. [The crowd roars.] Dorn: The teams are taking the field now, and listen to that crowd! Is that "S-V-U" I hear chanting out there? Ned: I think the Vale fans must outnumber Arankeep's by 2 to 1. Dorn: Well, it's a capacity crowd tonight. They say the Valers bought out all of the three copper standing room tickets today. Looks like the Vale is putting Dalt the Common, Fenduth Arnak, and Brozlin the Dirty in midcircle; Vincent the Farmer, Aegis of the Vale, Marnuth, and Erdrek Gulsvere in midfield; Grog, Calvin Inexhaustible, Sammy the Bleak, Trog Thogmore, and G'Rond Thalberost at backfield; and Lor the Inbred at forschbowler. Ned: Arankeep's sending Sarla Flinod, Ruut Amdovek, and Del the Silent to hinterplodder; Kenglith Tarbador, Sarnem Sarkpin, Pelthres Sithuntroth, and Nol the Red at midfield; Kangor Angest, Lucica the Messenger, Sarnem the Limp, Nexil the Avenger, and Mox the Daft at backfield; and it looks like Oryan Vanhest is getting his first start of the season at forschbowler tonight. Dorn: Yes, reports came in earlier today that Tul With Fists of Steel will not be playing today due to the aftereffects of a concussion he suffered in practice this morning. [The referee's horn blows.] Dorn: They're lining up for the opening tipoff. Looks like it'll be Sarla Flinod for Arankeep versus the Ellurian Brozlin the Dirty for SVU. Sarla is 13 for 29 in tipoffs this year and Brozlin is 8 for 16. Ned: Look how close Dalt the Common is to the edge of midcircle. "There's shinangans afoot" as my old friend Harold the Short would say. [The horn blows.] Dorn: There's the toss, and it's grabbed by Brozlin the Dirty... Sarla Flinod delivers a FIERCE pummel to the face of the Ellurian and the ball is loose in midcircle on the SVU side. The ball is scooped up by Fenduth Arnak and lobbed to Dalt the Common.... Dalt the Common steps out of centerfield and is running toward the perimeter on the north side of the field... He is faced by Mox the Daft but he rolls left and safely out of the way. Brozlin the Dirty is open, but.. no.. Dalt keeps going. Nol the Bleeder from the far side coming fast! He rushes fists first but NO he's shoved away with a SUPURB block by Trog Thogmore! Dalt the Common along the perimeter! Dalt the Common versus Oryan Vanhest and Kangor Angest! He reaches the Arankeep circle and BREAKS away from the crowd untouched! He's clear! He's almost there! HE SCORES! DALT THE COMMON WITH A LONER! UNBELIEVEABLE! SRESAR VALE UNITED TAKES A 1-0 LEAD IN THE VERY FIRST PLAY! [The crowd goes nuts. Slow motion replay.] Ned: As you can see, this was a picture perfect example of great blocking. Thogmore, Grog, and Thalberost all seemed to be in the right place at the right time, keeping the Arankeep midfield from getting in Dalt's way. And, of course, this was a great testimony to the speed and agility of Dalt the Common. He's a classic run-and-dive grubballer. You don't see much of that these days. Dorn: They're lined back up and it looks it'll be Dalt the Common versus Ruut Amdovek. Sithafrith has come in for Arankeep backfieldsman Mox the Daft. Ned: Dalt is 24 for 40 in tipoffs so far. Amazing, just amazing. [The horn blows.] Dorn: There's the toss, and GRABBED by Amdovek and he sends an elbow to Dalt's face for good measure. He tosses the ball to Sarla Flinod who passes over to Del the Silent. Del the Silent darts out of midfield and tosses the ball to Sarnem Sarkpin. Sarkpin circles through Trog Thogmore and Eldreck Gulsvere and hands the ball back to Sarla Flinod in the northeast corner. Sarla Flinod along the perimeter toward SVU's circle! She hauls off a LONG pass to Ruut Amdovek who's open on the other side! He catches it! Ruut Amdovek alone against Lor the Inbred in midcircle! Lor sends a HEADBUTT to Amdovek who stumbles back! The ball is dropped! Lor the Inbred with his first kill of the night! [The crowd cheers Lor's name, some of them boo.] Ned: Ouch! You just can't face Lor the Inbred like that if you can avoid it. Sarkpin was open in the back half of the cirle, but I guess Ruut just didn't see it. [Replay.] Ned: [chuckles] Yeah, that's not a good idea. ((Later, in the third quinting)) Dorn: We've reached the middle of the third quinting already and Sresar Vale is still clinging to a 1-0 lead. Ned: Arankeep is playing well, though. They've come up with 60% of the tipoffs now and they've broken up 25 of the 45 kill attempts against them. Dorn: The story thusfar is SUV forschbowler Lor the Inbred, who has 18 kills so far in this game. Alright, we're ready for the tipoff now. It'll be Dalt the Common versus Branth Perlegi, who just came in to give Sarla Flinod a rest. [The horn blows.] Dorn: The ball is in the air.. and Dalt the Common comes up with it. Dalt passes over to Brozlin the Dirty... no! It's tipped away by Perlegi and it's loose in midfield on the SVU side. Perlegi DIVES on top of the ball and smothers it. Dalt lands on top of Perlegi. Brolzin tries to block the way of Ruut Amdovek and Del the Silent but Perlegi comes up with it. He lobs it toward Amdovek but it's tipped away by Brozlin and its in the hands of Del the Silent. Del passes the ball out of midcircle to Sarnem Sarkpin. Sarnem rolls past Thogmore-- [The horn blows.] Dorn: What? The referee has stopped the play? Ned: Looks like there's a mess of blood under that pile of hinterplodders. [The crowd begins to boo and cheer simultaneously.] Dorn: The referee has pulled Brozlin the Dirty, Fenduth Arnak, and Branth Perlegi out of the pile... It looks like Dalt the Common... He's got his hands on his face and there appears to be a lot of blood. The SVU trainers are rushing into midfield and helping Dalt up. He appears to be able stand under his own power, but he keeps clutching the right side of his face. [The SVU fans begin to get very vocal.] Ned: This is a scary thing to see if your on the Sresar Vale team. It looks like Dalt got his eye poked real bad. Dorn: Well they've helped Dalt off the field and we'll be keeping you posted. Meanwhile, Branth Arnak has come in to fill Dalt's spot at hinterplodder. So Dalt the Common has possibly left the game after a stellar performance, scoring the game's only point so far with three kills. Ned: I was at the game when Gessihorna midfieldsman Bulth Mutor lost an eye. He still played after that but it took him the rest of the year to recover. Dorn: They've got the mess cleaned up and it looks like it'll be Branth Arnak versus Del the Silent for the tipoff. Ned: The SVU team has to be very shook up after that ordeal. [The horn blows.] Dorn: There's the toss, and Arnak comes up with it, but it's snatched away by Del the Silent and he tosses it back to Ruut Amdovek. Amdovek enters neutral ground and is immediately faced by Eldreck Gulsvere, Gulsvere with a tackle attempt but Amdovek worms out of it, and he passes to Sarnem Sarkpin who is open along the perimeter. Sarkpin charges into SVU's circle but he's stopped by Lor the Inbred with a crossdive for Lor's 19th kill and--WOW! There was just a titanic collision in the backfield away from the play! It appears to be Trog Thogmore, G'Rond Thalberost and one Arankeep player is on the ground... It looks like Branth Perlegi on the ground, and there is so far no movement. [The crowd gets loud and chaotic.] [Replay of the collision.] Ned: It looks to me like Thogmore and Thalberost were chasing Perlegi around midfield after Sarkpin gained possession, and they ended up sandwiching him in the backfield. That was absolutely intentional, Dorn, possibly in retribution of Dalt the Common's injury. Dorn: Most likely, Ned. The Arankeep trainers are on the field this time and the official has come over... What's this? The official gives a thumbs-down to the scorekeeper... and the SVU point is taken from the board... That collision must've killed Arankeep hinterplodder Branth Perlegi. Arankeep and SVU are now back to a scoreless tie. [The crowd becomes nearly silent.] [Shows the replay of the collision again.] Ned: Yeah, there's no doubt about it in my mind. Perlegi is dead. I've had three men die at my hands on the grubball field and I can personally testify that no one ever plans to kill another player, because when it happens you just feel horrible. I think Thogmore and Thalberost intended to injure Perlegi, certainly, but I know they must have butterflies knowing that they just killed a man. Dorn: It looks like the referee is now ejecting Thalberost and Thogmore from the game, that leaves Sresar Vale with one player on the bench. Sithafrith and Elythan will come in to play backfield, both out of position. Ned: Now here comes the heartbreaker. The Arankeep team will now come in to carry their dead teammate off of the field. You can bet every one of those guys have come face-to-face with their own mortality right now. Dorn: It's a risk that all grubballers choose to take, but I'll bet it hits home, none-the-less. The final statistics on Branth Perlegi after 7 years of play off the bench for the Tralazir and Arankeep teams: 149 games played, 37 points, 126 kills. Ned: You can't ask for much better numbers than that from a second-string hinterplodder and midfielder. ((The game stays 0-0 through six quintings, resulting in a tie.)) Game Highlights: --------------- Arankeep HP Branth Perlegi dies in a three-way collision with SVU BF's Trog Thogmore and G'Rond Thalberost. SVU HP Dalt the Common loses his right eye, his playing status is yet uncertain. Some mild disturbances in the crowd between the SVU fans and the Arankeep fans. Key Players for SVU: HP Dalt the Common with 1 point (nixed) and 3 kills FB Lor the Inbred, 28 kills BF Calvin Inexhaustible, 20 kills BF's Trog Thogmore and G'Rond Thalberost, 9 kills each Key Players for Arankeep: MF Sarnem Sarkpin, 22 kills FB Oryan Vanhest, 19 kills BF Mox the Daft, 17 kills MF Nol the Red, 13 kills |
