Laying before The Editor's doorstep of her home is a bone scroll case. Once opened 30 locusts spring forth and scatter about in the room...making evil clicking sounds. Inside is some parchment. The ink appears to be blood that the words are enscribed with.
Editor I find your TownCrier quiet entertaining. You have given myself bountiful fill of information about my home since I left it many many years ago. I have not taken ink to parchment or book for a good long time. I find it interesting that you hold alot of the subjects attention to the going ons around the Isles. I see the Queen is in some distress, and drugs flow freely. I can understand that the subjects would take to this activity to unburden thier hardships for a time to escape. This only makes things ripe for the picking dont you think? But lets not degress from the purpose of this letter. Iam home. It has taken many years.And Iam informing the subjects of the Isles, That Iam not going to leave ever again. Iam here to repay the good subjects for the turned heads, and deaf ears, and false comforts of a small pleading child. Make no mistake Iam not some Evil or monster from afar....Iam your monster you created so long ago with you dark hearts. And for this I thank all the loayl subjects for pointing me to this Lovely path..And now you all shall pay for your Great grandmothers and fathers mistake. At this day you will hear of the testimony of a Caretaker Jacob. He will tell you of the graves that where robbed in the middle of the night. Just because your great grandmothers and fathers are dead..means no escape from my power. My revenge will be complete. So take heart of your lives now, and hold close the ones you dear..for when you do die..you will serve me forever. So go now to your churches temples and Clerics for help. They have proven to turn thier heads nothing stops them from doing this again. Well I have to go for now but I will be watching. I have to prepare for my lovely wife. We wed at midnight..she will be most pleased to walk the earth again..since I freed her from her grave last night. In reconition of my new bride, any town that hangs a lantern in or on thier tallest building and lets it burn all night shall be spared of the oncomming plague that I will unleash. I bid you good night. Corlack Lord of Locusts Master of Death. ( thanks Christopher Lee Heidgerken. ) ( I couldnt resist. LOL ) > The Mystonian TownCrier Editorial Page > > Managing Editor, Buttercup MedowMuffin > Contributing Editor, Magni Thistlebecks > Reporters, Buckeye Tooth and Silas Nickels > The views expressed below do not necessarily represent the collective views > held at this newspaper. However, they may and such may or may not be stated. > All comments, questions, and leads on the latest news and entertainment can > be sent expressly to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > The DragonMyst Inn - Where to Buy Illegal Hallucinogens? > > Sweet cleric Khelti Materi, say it isn't so?! Forced to pay back the > generous loans given to rebuild the inn after last year's horrendous fire by > the Wyvern Raiders, the innkeeper has taken to farming out illegal > substances?! We stand aghast at the mere thought. But we do have eyewitness > account of a powdery substance being exchanged between a disheveled young > man and an innocent girl. And we have often heard that the ale at the > DragonMyst was by far the best around the Isles. Could it be due to a secret > concoction of opium? We always did suspect there was more between Lilla's > bosom than met the eye. And rumour has it that Lilla's recent disappearance > is either due to her protestations over the recent drug sales or her utter > involvement in bringing in another shipment. > > A Bawdy Tune - The Virgin Song > > This summertime song, in light of our recent ponderings about dragons in our > myst, can be heard being sung throughout the land. All in lighthearted jest, > of course, we offer the enjoyable lyrics for the young and old alike. > > ~ A dragon has come to our village today > We've asked him to leave but he won't go away > Now he's talked to our king and they've worked out a deal > No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal ~ > > ~ Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch > Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch > Well we've no other choice so the deal we'll respect > But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect ~ > > Chorus: > ~ Do virgins taste better than those who are not? > Are they salty or sweet or more juicy or what? > Do you savour them slowly - gulp them down on the spot? > Do virgins taste better than those who are not? ~ > > ~ Now we'd like to beshed you and many have tried > But no one can get through your thick scaly hide > We hope that someday some brave knight will come by > 'cause we can't wait around 'til you're too fat to fly ~ > > ~ Now you have such good taste in your women for sure > They always are pretty, they always are pure > But your notion of dining - it makes us all flinch > For your favorite entree is barbecued wench ~ > > (chorus) > > ~ Now we've found a solution, it works out so neat > If you insist on nothing but virgins to eat > No more will our number ever grow small > We'll simply make sure there's no virgins at all! ~ > > ( repeat chorus endlessly) > > <<OOC: Author unknown. Thanks to Kris.>> > > Enraged Painter Tosses Wife From Dream Manor > Jackson Jonas has allegedly had enough of his beautiful wife's antics, as we > helped bring to light in last week's issue. Kylie Jonas was reportedly > overheard at the DragonMyst Inn as she booked a room, "Better keep the tab > open, I don't know how often I'll need the room." Illicit meetings perhaps? > Could she be involved in the above rumoured drug exchanges? Certainly not, > this is a woman who helped endorse the Widows and Orphans Society! Yet, she > was there without her young daughter, leading one to conclude that if she so > frequently leaves her own child of late, she cannot care much for the > welfare of other children. Attempts to gain a statement from Jackson Jonas > were unsuccessful due to the ferocious Sesar Vale Moorhounds guarding the > castlette manor Jonas had built for his new bride last spring. Next time, > when our reporter is questioning whether or not love lasts longer than a > year, he should bring a tasty bit of meat instead of just his legs. > > All comments, questions, and leads on the latest news and entertainment can > be sent expressly to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > -- To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Archives & Other DMI Lists: http://islesofmyst.com/lists.php3
