[DragonTales] The Mystonian TownCrier Editorial

[Mystonian TownCrier Editorial]

 ***We were shut down for a moon's phase due to a printer explosion,

but have no fear faithful citizens! We have returned to report the Isles news to you!***

The Mystonian TownCrier Editorial Page

Managing Editor, Buttercup MedowMuffin

Contributing Editor, Magni Thistlebecks

Reporters, Buckeye Tooth and Silas Nickels

The views expressed below do not necessarily represent the collective views held at this newspaper. However, they may and such may or may not be stated. All comments, questions, and leads on the latest news and entertainment can be sent expressly to [EMAIL PROTECTED]

An Alesian Blade Found in an Unlikely Place

A mournful lamentation was heard from the Red Forest community as the life of the elvish king Airethond Oaktree was remembered. This paper extends its heartfelt prayers to the lost souls up there in the trees. However, directly upon the heels of this memorial, come the rumors we are bound to report to our faithful citizens. The dagger that apparently ended the elder Oaktree's life was none other than a finely crafted Alesian blade. As any common smith would know, those types of weapons are not lying about in abundance on our fair Isles. And one might note that there has not been a public decree of sorrow expressed from the House of Molentia for the death of the much beloved elvish king. Is it because the Crown is changing to the House of Paralor? In fact, it was overheard that our newly crowned King Corvarath stated "I've only seen one elven in my whole life..." Might we assume that was a dead elven?

Additionally, during the Royal Couple's honeymoon tour of the country, various innkeepers and patrons commented that there was never a murmur of passion from their martial bed. One can only imagine why, but perhaps the fact that the King recently purchased two handmade dolls from renowned toymaker Jakey indicates the Alesian's true passions. A sideline tryst with the toymaker himself perhaps? After all, they're both large men, no doubt it would be hard to find another for whom size would not be an issue. This does seem to contrast sharply with the recent reports that the Queen is looking rather plump lately. Either she bears the child of some dastardly deed or she's taken to the kitchen to drown her martial sorrows in sweet cakes and ale! We must point out that prior to her marriage she did like to sneak out to the inns often for the gods only know what!

WANTED ALIVE: Rue Denali

CHARGES: Two Counts of Endangering a Mystonian Citizen

WANTED: Information on the Whereabouts and Recovery of Mystonian Citizen Brin Winters

Portrayed here in happier times, former Guard Captain Rue Denali (http://www.islesofmyst.com/char/rue.jpg). Denali has been charged in the disappearance of his former prot�g�, lover, and mother of his unborn children, 1st Guard Brin Winters, also portrayed (http://www15.brinkster.com/thejax/Brin.jpg).

Eye witness accounts indicate that nearly seven nights ago, Brin Winters was taken against her will from the pier bay where all chartered boats for points North are docked. Any information leading to the location of Guard Winters and/or the detainment of Rue Denali should be directed to your nearest Royal Guard barrack. Denali is believed to be quite dangerous and should not be challenged. Rumors abound of his recent procurement of a large amount of opium, which despite it's medicinal benefits may render an individual to believe they are invincible. Accounts of extraordinary human strength have been reported in other extreme opium-use cases.

The editors of your homeland paper persistently ask the Crown when will this dangerous drug be outlawed?

MystHaven Guard Beheaded

In MystHaven center, Guard Simon Gorthren, rank unknown, was beheaded in an alley and in a gruesome twist, the poor man's heart was removed in what was perhaps a barbaric ritual of an underground ring of murderers. And in a final act of triumphant disgust, the head of the gallant servant of our fair Isles was delivered to the Lord Marshall. The Lord Marshall, recently besieged with great difficulties around the country, offered this statement in response: "The guards have always had enemies, and since we're more aggressive against crime these days, there are those that will strike out. This piece of scum will be caught, tried and hung." Indeed Lord Marshall Arien Wiloiolaire, but what about condolences to the Gorthren family? Surely if this were an elvish death, you would extend your heartfelt sympathies? Did you at least return the man's head for burial?

 

Minstrel's Corner

This ballad of duel cheating is currently warming the hearths around the more bawdy taverns, simply called "Portrait" and it is most often being sung in a duo, sometimes even two men together! We dare to contemplate are we being inundated with outcasts from the shores of Arangoth?

(with OOC apologies to Mr. Rock and Ms. Crow)

(1) Livin' my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I aint seen the sun shine in three damn days
Been fuelin' up on opium and whisky
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
I put your portrait away
Sat down and cried the day
I can't look at you, I'm lyin' next to her
I put your portrait away, sat down and cried today
I can't look at you I'm lyin' next to her

(2) I called you last night in the inn
Everyone knows but they won't give in
But their half-hearted smiles tell me
Somethin' just ain't right
I been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
I put your portrait away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I put your portrait away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

(Duo) I saw ya yesterday with an old friend
It was the same ole same "how have you been"
Since you been gone my world's been dark & grey

(1) You reminded me of brighter days
(2) I hoped you were comin' home to stay
(1) I was heading off the church
(2) I was off to drink you away

(Duo) I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your portrait today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your portrait today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say, I love you come back home

The Caelan Rainier Interview

Former Head Lady in Waiting, distressed soul of the long-standing servants of the Her Majesty - the Rainier household - and now key witness in the Brin Winters abduction case, Caelan Rainier sat down for a moment with our very own Royal correspondent, Silas Nickels, to answer a few inquires.

 

Silas Nickels: You've left the Castle and your post as Head Lady in Waiting...Lady Rainier, would you care to offer commentary on why you've chosen a life outside Royal circles?

Lady Rainier: Ah... The castle just isn't for me anymore. I just... I-I don't fit in there anymo--

Silas Nickels: There's much speculation of course, including that you could not bear to see Her Majesty married because you yourself had loving, and lustful, intentions for her.

Lady Rainier: No, no of course not. I'm happy to see Janessa marr--- What!?

Silas Nickels: Now...the report you filed on the missing persons, a guard named Brin Winters and the former guard captain now disgraced Rue Denali, you actually witnessed him tugging the lady in question off under the threat of a dagger?

Lady Rainier: I'm very offended that you would say such a thing! I do -not- think of Jan that way!

Silas Nickels: Yes well, Ladies in Waiting are easily offended. I meant no harm. Lady Rainier, I must say, that scene seems a bit extreme...are you quite sure of what you saw?

Lady Rainier: Yes. It was just as I dreamed. I knew it was going to happen... and it did. Just like I had seen it.

Silas Nickels: Are you saying you predicted it would happen? That you arranged it all?

Lady Rainier: No. I didn't. I.... I just <pause>  I have things to do this afternoon.

Silas Nickels: Indeed, we all have things to do. And lives to control. About a month or so ago, while you were lodging at the DragonMyst Inn, you were found um, well, quite bluntly, hanging yourself. Is this....perhaps an urge of yours to end your life over unrequited love?

Lady Rainier: I did not try to kill myself!

Silas Nickels: Well, Lady Rainier, if you did not put yourself into that place, then who did? Do you suspect this disgraced man turned probable opium fiend, Rue Denali?

Lady Rainier: I don't know who did. Rue did nothing wrong. ... <pause>  He's the only one that believes me.

Silas Nickels: Did this crazed man say anything to you about where he might have taken Brin Winters? Did you know she was his former prot�g� and just one of his many lovers?

Lady Rainier: Rue loves Brin... <pause>  I know that now... <pause> But I don't know where they went.

Silas Nickels: Lady Rainier, if you don't mind my saying so, you seem a bit...forlorn. Tell me, do you wish it was you that he'd stolen away? Have
you perhaps transferred your feelings for the Queen onto the man who seems to be self-destructing?

Lady Rainier: He shouldn't have taken anyone. <pause>  I wanted to stop him.

Silas Nickels: Finally, Lady Rainier, if there is one thing you could say to Rue Denali that might make him reconsider his dangerous path, what would
it be?

Lady Rainier: I... I don't know.  <pause>  He... He can't please everyone. Everyone makes mistakes. If Brin could just forgive him, then maybe he can forgive himself. I think he would be much happier if he could. I... I don't know if that helps.

 

Frolicking on the High Seas

Mystonian Royal Army General Kirsah`Ilan Oaktree has been seen about the town with none other than Direlette ip Lancan, notorious merchant of the high seas and suspected smuggler. One cannot help but wonder what conversation the pair of them might have. Perhaps the latest ways in which to skewer human flesh? Known to be quite the rogue and randy lady's man, Oaktree seems to bear no remorse for the loss of his father, unless it is to seek solace in the bosom of the black widow herself?

 

No Nipples Blanchard Marked Unsuitable for Marriage

The wedding bliss was supposed to happen well over two moons ago, the announcement made in this very paper in fact. Yet, despite Jesiah Blanchard, star Grubballer and all-around Paladin, has fallen out of the good graces of Mishakal cleric and DragonMyst innkeeper Khelti Delah. Both of them remain tight-lipped about the affair and those in their social circle indicate that it has something to do with the fact that while kidnapped and held for ransom, Blanchard lost his nipples to his captor! Indeed, while that may excite the sick and twisted minority who reads this newspaper, we can appreciate why Lady Delah wants nothing to do with him!

 

All comments, questions, and leads on the latest news and entertainment

can be sent expressly to [EMAIL PROTECTED]