The Mystonian TownCrier Editorial Page

Managing Editor, Buttercup MedowMuffin
Contributing Editor, Magni Thistlebecks
Reporters, Buckeye Tooth and Silas Nickels

The views expressed below do not necessarily represent the collective views held at this newspaper. However, they may and such may or may not be stated. All comments, questions, and leads on the latest news and entertainment can be sent expressly to [EMAIL PROTECTED]

The Unsolved Mystery of Senica del Riccoli's Whereabouts

Authorities still do not have any leads in the disappearance and suspected kidnapping of the Crown Princess of Algathar, Senica del Riccoli. Abducted just after the year turned 472, the princess, who was more widely known here upon the isles as a top geology student at MystHaven University, has not been seen since.

In recent developments, the King of Algathar insists that his daughter has not been kidnapped and is doing well. In fact, when pressed for the whereabouts of his daughter, King Gotce's exact words were reported as being "All is well in God's eyes." With all due respect to the King of a favoured nation to the Isles, perhaps there is a bit of delusionary illness occurring and our beloved country should proceed cautiously in any future negotiations?

Eyewitnesses here have not backed down from their insistence that Princess Sencia was taken against her will from the student boarding house. Mrs. Buchannon, the resident chaperone who witnessed the attack in her very parlor, has been plagued with nightmares nearly every night and has to sustain herself with medication. I ask the general populace of this fair land, if such a disaster can befall a noble woman from a foreign land upon our soil, then what can happen to us? Individuals with any information are urged to contact 1st Class Guardsman Bartholomew Coshborne at the MystHaven headquarters of the Mystonian Royal Guards.


Yeste' lammen en' i'tolea: Eldalie ri' Hisie'an
First Language of the Isles: Elven or Mystonian?

The Elven population of Myst has always well supported the army ranks, but they're a race of beings that keep so much to themselves, their culture is often a mystery to most humans. And do they wish it so, we must wonder. It seems they do. Or perhaps they used to, in the long ago past, when bloodshed was thick upon both sides. These days however, more and more elves seem to be visiting the cities and even setting up businesses and raising elven or halfelven families outside of the Red Forest boundaries. One must reflect and ponder what would the old and wise Nypin have thought about such a situation nearly 150 years ago?

The most notable indication of this influx is that the elven language, a tricky and elusive tongue, is becoming more and more visible in the major cities. Some businesses are beginning to post flyers in elven and certain industries are seeing a monopoly of elven tradesmen due to their expertise exceeding the common human. Most humans cannot wrap their tongues around the strange sounds that draw together to make elven words. Children of the woodland race can often be found on street corners and fields alike, chattering away in a dialogue most of the rest of us cannot understand. How will this shape our future once they've grown?

There are scholars at the University who wish to preserve the Isles history and point to the timeline that indicates elves were first upon these lands, therefore their language should be tolerated and even taught to all. But there is a question that begs to be asked: If the majority of the population speaks Mystonian common and the majority of the population is of the human race, does that not support the concept that the first language of this country is and should be Mystonian common? Leave the elven language where it belongs, in the Red Forest and the history books.


New Female Type of the New Decade?

"It better well be elven, I'm afraid that I have little tolerance for human drinks...quite putrid in my opinion."

This was just one of the statements overheard at the Pacadelicious Pub in Kishant recently. The speaker was an elven male, that evening's companion to the ever lovely Lady Kylie Jonas. One might expect the gorgeous and kind wife of painter Jackson Jonas to take offense to such an insult, but she merely laughed and nodded.

Rumors of Lady Jonas' true nature have surfaced ever since she became the wife of the well-known painter. The question remains, if she is not human, what is she? What could such a beauty be? Is she even mortal? And if not, does that give her the right to frolic with men besides her husband? Are humans the only race to attempt, and often fail, at monogamy? Oh great woe, she even has a babe to care for at home!

Is this the new female type of the decade? And if so, do we like it? Let us know your opinions here at the editorial page!

The observer of Lady Jonas and her elven consort did mention that their conversation seemed to grow somewhat sensual as their evening went on, one can only assume after several bottles of wine. We offer the tidbits here for your dissemination, with the simple question, is there no shame amongst the wealthy and elite?

"...better to quench your thirst...than me..."
"Exactly. So, should we do it after dinner...?"
"I'm feeling a bit...um...restless just now..."
"If I never go to down again, it'll be too soon..."
"...my friend over here is terribly uncomfortable...look at him...why don't you help us?"
"Be careful now, rumor is I bite when cornered..."

And later...

"...do you want to go running naked through the Kishant Faire...?"
"Is that what you want?"
"To the greatest I could hope to have...here's to getting good..."
" I rarely get so good as one of those..."
"Are you ready to head back to our place..."
"I could use a long soak..."

The good-looking elven man, whose name is Vashenthiel Silvermore, even tried to bribe the reporter to leave, insisting that Lady Jonas was rather satisfied with her choice of men already and required no further company, even using the term "whoring herself out" to describe her actions! We remain aghast!


Kindred, Dragons, and Demons, Oh My!

Flock to thee holy shrines, light a candle at the temple! Recent sightings have increased in the possibility of a great evil force gripping the Isles. Rumors abound in the Brookshire province and beyond that a nest of demons festers reign, sacrificing small children! Unable to produce evidence of this, those citizens sprouting these tales speak of first-hand, second-hand, or third-hand experiences.

And around the woods of the great DragonMyst Inn, lurk both kindred and dragon, apparently due to eyewitness account. Dragons once roamed this land in great numbers, and for many many decades there has been peace. It is the opinion of this paper that if indeed there are dragons about our paradise, they mean us no harm. Surely they'd have burned a village by now if they did?

Kindred however...we can only raise caution in light of what we know from our neighboring countries. In great numbers they can be a plague of death. Yes, currently, all creatures are welcome on the Isles and no laws exist like that in the large metropolis city of Drache, Arangoth. And as Her Majesty bids us, we strive to live in harmony with all. But, take note if those around you start disappearing or dying suddenly. We're told some kindred have red eyes even and growl like wolves. The MystHaven marketplace is running a special on garlic and stakes, 2 for 1. Get them while you can in case you need to protect yourself!

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