Sounds like the Geico gecko to me mate. Didn't know 'is full time job was working for Ofcom.
73 Les -----Original Message----- >From: Peter Dougherty <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >Sent: Apr 8, 2008 12:25 AM >To: dx-chat@njdxa.org >Subject: [DX-CHAT] I wish to register a complaint! > >Yesterday afternoon a cluster-crab made an off-hand about 10 and 15 >(or was it 17 & 15) being dead - to which I replied in a very >pythonesque manner. Well tonight, after a few choice single-malts, >the creative juices began to flow and pretty soon the following oozed >out of my brain and onto eHam's DXing forum. > >--------------- >QRPer from down the hill enters an office containing a counter with >an HF radio and microphone on it. A clerk is standing behind the counter. > > >QRPer: I wish to register a complaint! > >Ofcom agent: Sorry, we're closed for lunch... > >QRPer: Never mind that, ol' man, I wish to complain about 10 meters, >wot I got permission to use not half a year ago frrrrom this very boutique. > >Ofcom agent: Oh, yes, 10 meters. What's, uh....what's wrong with it? > >QRPer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it OM, It's DEAD, that's >what's wrong with it. > >Ofcom agent: Oh no, it's resting. > >QRPer: Look matey, I know a dead band when I hear one, and I'm >listening to one right now. > >Ofcom agent: No no, it's not dead, it's restin'. Remarkable band, ten >metres...beautiful daylight coverage. > >QRPer: The coverage don't enter into it....it's stone dead. > >Ofcom agent: no no no no, it's *resting*. > >QRPer: ALLLLLLright then, if it's resting, I'll wake it up. CQ. CQ >TEN. I'M QRV BETWEEN LIGHTNING BOLTS ON CLIPPERTON ISLAND IF YOU'LL >WAKE UP, TEN METERS! (Ofcom agent quickly breaks out a bug and >oscillator and sends some fast CW) > >Ofcom agent: There, that was a signal > >QRPer: Not it wasn't, that was you sending on a practice oscillator. > >Ofcom agent: I NEVER > >QRPer Yes you did! > >Ofcom agent: I did naugh... > >QRPer: (quickly tuning the transmitter) SEEEE CUE TEN SEEEECUE TEN!!! >QRZ TEN METERS! THIS IS YOUR DX WAKEUP CALL >(Turns up the AF gain and spins the VFO to only the sound of static). > >QRPer: Now that's what I call a dead band. > >Ofcom agent: No, no.....no it's STUNNED. > >QRPer: STUNNED? > >Ofcom agent: Yeah, you stunned it just when you were tuning up. 10 >meters stuns easily. > >QRPer: Um....now look, mate, don't play the slippery eel with me. >That band is definitely deceased, and when I went QRV not six short >months ago, my Elmer assured me that its total lack of activity was >due to it bein' tired and shagged out following CQ World Wide. > >Ofcom agent: Well, it's probably pining for sunspots. > >QRPer: PININ' for SUNSPOTS??? What kind of talk is that and why did >it fall flat the moment I put my tower up? > >Ofcom agent: 10 meters prefers keeping quiet like that. Remarkable >band, innit? Beautiful Daylight Coverage. > >QRPer: Look tosh, I took the liberty of examining that band when the >TI9 was on, and I discovered that the only reason there were any >signals at all was because I was listening to other callers on ground wave. > >Ofcom agent: Well of *course* you were hearing them ground wave. >Look, if there'd been any propagation at all they'd have all come in >long path, and VOOM. > >QRPer: VOOM? > >Ofcom agent: Voom. > >QRPer: Mate, this band wouldn't voom if the solar flux was four >hundred thousand! It's bleedin' DEMISED! > >Ofcom agent: No no, it's pining for sunsp.... > >QRPer: It's not pining, it's passed on. It has ceased to be. It's a >wasteland just like 6 with no aurora! It's flatter than me 80 meter >dipole. If it hadn't been for ground wave I'd be hearing crickets. >It's off the dial, it's run down the coax and joined the bloody Palos >Verdes Sundancers. Vis-a-vis DX QSOs, this band's 'ad it's lot. All >statements to the effect of this band's being workable are from now >on inoperative. TEN METERS IS NOW QRT! (slams mic down on the desk) > >Radio: CQ CQ CQ TEN VP8LP calling from the Falkland Islands, anybody, >anywhere, CQ CQ CQ CQ CQ (fades out). > >QRPer: (astonished) > >Ofcom agent: Right! (evil grin on his face; pull back to reveal the >Ofcom agent pull out a Wouff Hong and a Rettysnitch from behind the >counter and chases the QRPer out of the office and down the street). >--------------------------- > > >(may be shamelessly copied eslewhere and modified to be funnier at >will, but please credit W2IRT) > > > >Regards, > >Peter, >W2IRT > > > >Subscribe/unsubscribe, feedback, FAQ, problems >http://njdxa.org/dx-chat > >To post a message, DX related items only, dx-chat@njdxa.org > >This is the DX-CHAT reflector sponsored by the NJDXA >http://njdxa.org > Subscribe/unsubscribe, feedback, FAQ, problems http://njdxa.org/dx-chat To post a message, DX related items only, dx-chat@njdxa.org This is the DX-CHAT reflector sponsored by the NJDXA http://njdxa.org
