(Jayne's post pointed out to me that there is actually quite a bit 
of anti-coimmunist sentiment and fear in the U. S. right now) ...

Really!  Commies!?!?!  Those poor people couldn't hurt a fly right now ... 

I've done quite a bit of thinking since I shot that post off in response
to Kylie's "scared" post this morning.  It's probably obvious that Kylie's
style really pushes my buttons; but, to her credit, every time she's
p***ed me off, I've learned a LOT about myself. 

This time I came face to face with my great shame about being an American. 
My mom (probably like yours) constantly reminded me about the "starving
Armenians" every time I didn't clean my plate ... and it's interesting to
see how deeply the concern her ploy generated has rooted in my psyche. 
So, much of my concern with environment, food supplies, political justice
and social justice are driven not by intelligence, I discovered today, but
by guilt.  I feel that this is a really important insight for me to work
with ... guilt is destructive, I believe, even when it results in
apparently humanitarian or constructive behaviors. 

This line of thought also led me to realize how MUCH of our culture asks 
us to feel guilty, especially if we are concerned about the welfare of 
our ecosystems, and our neighbors.  We feel guilty for buying things, for 
not buying things to support the economy, for eating fat, for eating 
meat, for wasting ANYTHING, for not having enough $$$ to support activist 
organizations, for not working more for activist organizations, for 
driving to the grocery, for  .... the list, to me, is endless.

It interests me to notice how many roadblocks our society as it's 
presently constructed, especially IMHO in the suburbs, puts up roadblocks 
to conscious, sustainable living.  Every move *I* make, anyway, is a 
tradeoff.  Do I want to buy organic at a store which sells bulk?  If so, 
I have to drive a minimum of 28 miles ... so I'm wasting gas.  The 
apartment complex I live in is horrifyingly unconscious, I don't seem to 
be able to make a dent with regard to pesticide use, recycling, etc; but 
if I want to live somewhere we can afford on $25,000 a year for our 
family, we either live in a place like this, or we move 'way out in the 
stix, and then my daughter's education will go to pot.

I find myself, and my thinking, going in very unproductive circles about 
all this; and when you top it with the fact that I find stereotyping 
extremely offensive, especially when I'm lumped in the stereotype, you 
can see that Kylie's post has created a very fruitful day for me.

Faith

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