>Don't give me too much credit.
I find this statement interesting from a gender analysis point of view. A
male would have relished the praise and taken it directly to
heart.(generalisation I know don't tell me off). What I find is that womyn
feel uncomfortable with praise especially if they feel it doesn't apply all
the time. It shouldn't have to. I agree with the praise for Jayne, I also
think she did a great job. I was then dismayed when Jayne did not accept
it. It makes it hard for womyn to be praised if they won't accept the
praise when offered. What you are also doing when you accept praise is -
you are validating the other persons view. To reject praise can also mean
the praiser can feel rejected.
For the womyn receiving the praise, if she can agree that what is being
praised is something she likes, by accepting that praise she also makes it
easier for herself to repeat this action that caused the praise. When she
rejects the praise she can set herself up for a self-fulfilling professy.
This is where she internalizes the message about herself and then becomes
what she believes.
IMHO it is very important for womyn to accept praise and so by that become
stronger.
I can tell you about any number of
>incidents where I did NOT accomplish that and where I was not at all
>calm... After all I am the one who called the Ollie North campaign
>headquarters to complain about the "Law Enforcement for North" campaign
>signs and concluded the conversation by yelling into the phone at a
>retired FBI agent "You are a fucking fascist pig!" Probably not
>very effective, but it felt great! Of course, I after I hung up the
>phone, my 10 year old son said in a very dry tone, "Well, Mom, that was
>very conflict resolutionary of you..."
>
We have all done things in the past. We cannot change for the better in
the future if we keep referencing the past as reasons we do not deserve
praise.
Congratulations Jayne. You did manage to keep your cool in a very
emotional situation. This is important as there are obviously plenty
others of us who can give the emotional reaction where this is necessary.
I plan to model your questioning approach as I think if this is not
effective nothing will be. But don't expect to much of me, I also am an
emotionally reactive person.
Respectfully,
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
"Interesting: Your people glorified organised violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately."
Mr Spock. Star Trek 'Dagger of the Mind'
